Stanford Rejection: A mother's support

<p>There is something satanic about the adcoms.</p>

<p>Agree with Jonri-fact is the top 5 or so schools have relatively small undergraduate schools and by the time they have admitted all their targeted students there are just about no spots left for anybody no matter how accomplished. If I had to do it over again we never would have had our son apply to Stanford-a waste of time and money.</p>

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<p>Cause the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapels of your checkered coat</p>

<p>Hugs to OP and her DD. First know that this too shall pass. She will get into a great school and get a fabulous education and make life-long friends. Everything will be cool by October 2014, if not sooner.</p>

<p>Having said that I have to agree with part of MommaJ’s post:</p>

<p>" . . . please learn from this experience and don’t allow them to focus on a single a highly selective institution that turns down incredibly well-credentialed students all the time. Keep[] a grip in the reality of college admissions . . ." </p>

<p>I know the kids are overloaded with academic work, but I think a sound understanding of the basics os statistics helps prevent the shock of a rejection of a very talented to from a top-tier competitive college;</p>

<p>If one were to add up all the available spots at all of whatever you think the top twenty schools (just as an excercise in statistics) are, you would get a some of all the seemingly available spots. Now subtract 1 for each “hook” admission spot (that could be as much as 1/3 of the total). Now, look at the College Board and ACT states for applicants with 2270 or 33 and add them up. If you assume that many of these kids also have a high gpa and ECs and write great essays, you will see that there simply no where near enough spots at these colleges for even half of these well qualified applicants. The sats are even more grim for the HYPSM schools. If a 17-year-old could see and understand these stats, she would know gong in that the college admissions process is not just about how hard you have worked and how good your stats are. The schools only have so many spots and they want more than just high stat kids.</p>

<p>Easy to say, but try to get your kid to not fall in love with a single school prior to April 1. There is plenty of time to fall in love after April 1.</p>

<p>I sure hope God has better things to do with Her time!</p>

<p>When we get to the Pearly Gates, the angels will be admissions officers with flaming swords who keep the unworthy out. They will have to serve out their time at mid-level state u.</p>

<p>Getting rejected from Stanford REA is not the end of the world. I know several people who got into schools like Penn, Yale, Duke, Brown, and Columbia in the RD round after getting rejected from Stanford REA</p>

<p>Enjoying listening to this conversation. At our local church, there’s a big-haired southern lady who is always telling everyone how God “blessed” her with a parking space at the mall last week during Christmas shopping season, and how He surely has picked out a nice boy for her daughter to go to the Prom with – and all I can think is “How exactly is it that He wasn’t able to rescue all those people who died in the tsunami but He has time to make sure you have a parking space at the mall? God sure has some strange priorities.” I assume that in her mind God is an American white guy who is mostly concerned with first world problems, and, oh yeah, he loves her best. Because I guess she’s the most deserving of all of us too. My daughter recently told me that if Jesus (as he is understood in our region of the country) is the head cheerleader’s other boyfriend, then He’s probably not someone who would ever have a lot to say to her. I confess that this whole “God is deeply involved in all aspects of my life, including where I go to college and whether or not I get a parking space at the mall” theology is a bit mystifying to me. Do your best. But if fasting was the way to get God to give you what you want, then wouldn’t all those starving Somalians be at the front of the line – and not you and your college essay?</p>

<p>By the Stanford rejection, God has commanded her to attend Muskogee Beauty College (as a STEM major).</p>

<p><a href=“http://virgilsbeautycollege.com/index.php[/url]”>http://virgilsbeautycollege.com/index.php&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>While I think it’s fine for people to say things like, “we’ve been blessed with X children” or grandchildren or whatever, to think that God has somehow “unblessed” you when you get a rejection from a school is just too out there for me to accept. </p>

<p>Most believers do accept that God expects us to “do our part” and not just sit back, pray, and let God’s Will run the show. After all, if we thought that way, why the heck would we take loved ones to hospitals and doctors to save our loved ones’ lives? We’d just accept “God’s Will” and stay home. I guess many of us just believe that God doesn’t get in the way of hardships, tragedies, disappointments, and so forth…but it’s not His Will that caused those things.</p>

<p>No, I don’t think God blesses folks with a good parking space, but my sister’s MIL has a funny little prayer she says during holiday shopping, “hail Mary full of grace, help me find a parking space.” (does she deep down believe this…I doubt it. )</p>

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<p>“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6)</p>

<p>We all have cares and concerns that others might consider trivial. I mean, none of us on this board are starving or freezing to death. I also am annoyed by people who praise God (non-ironically) for finding a convenient parking space, but college is considered by many to be a very important choice; it’s hardly trivial or laughable to care about it or be disappointed by outcomes.</p>

<p>That said, I’m sure the OP’s daughter will get over her disappointment and find a good place to be come Sept. 2014.</p>

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<p>OK, so it looks like I am wrong. About 4/5 of applicants from Stanford get rejected in the early action pool.</p>

<p>While I don’t doubt that there is a Christian community at Stanford, in my opinion, there are many Christians who would not really feel at home there. The density of churches in the surrounding community is lower, in general, than many places in the East and Midwest.</p>

<p>The operation of Stanford admissions is a bit unusual, in my opinion. First off, there is the high rejection rate during the early decision round. Second, Stanford seems to be in the grips of Carol Dweck’s mindset philosophy, which I personally question–even though there are some reasonable aspects of it, I think they have bought into it too far. I have not examined the statistics, but I would guess that Stanford’s admission rate of non-Californian students with 4.0 UW GPA, 2400 SAT I, 2400 SAT II, and multiple AP’s (all 5’s), but no truly staggering national-level accomplishments, is lower than the admission rate of the same types of students at HYP etc. Stanford appears to have “pipeline” relations with a number of California schools and some outside of California (New Trier comes to mind). To borrow Pizzagirl’s analogy, students outside of those schools face longer odds in the lottery–not all tickets are equally likely to be winners, even if the qualifications are similar on the surface. Finally, I question Stanford’s view of “intellectual vitality,” which they consider a prime requisite for admission–that is a great characteristic to seek in a college applicant, but contrary to the comments of a Stanford admissions official, I do not believe that intellectual vitality can be demonstrated in an essay on shopping. Nope. Not buying it. </p>

<p>Hunt’s response is, as usual, considerably better than mine; but nevertheless, I thought I’d post this.</p>

<ol>
<li>Shopping</li>
<li>Cursing Stanford. </li>
</ol>

<p>Mantra “Stanford is stupid to reject you. If they are not smart enough to accept you, it’s their mistake”.</p>

<p>QuantMech, Princeton and Harvard have Pipelines, too. In the case of Stanford, there is the additional consideration of the gigantic --and very local-- high-level industry/industries to feed into, as well. It has always been true, since my childhood, that the local public K-12’s, and Stanford, and local industry, have all been in bed together, major.</p>

<p>Recently (last year/this year) Columbia has become increasingly enamored with student tech brains and tech potential from CA, so that New York can feed its Silicon Alley. The admits to Columbia, from CA, have been unusually generous vs. previous years.</p>

<p>Listen up, all ye who will:
There is an immense CA population which is highly and “over” qualified for Stanford. It’s mega-sized and Stanford-hopeful. That in itself will lower every applicant’s chances. If you can have an elite college education and not wander from the Golden State weather, it would tend to be one’s first choice (or nearly that).</p>

<p>And actually Stanford has been, in its last few years, generous with out-of-state admissions, but they cannot admit quite as “evenly” as some top colleges, due to the local overabundance of talented applicants. They must give the nod in some proportion to the regional balance of applicants.</p>

<p>"The Biblical answer I would give to this is “shake the dust off your feet.” " - Great, Hunt !</p>

<p>I would add to it: “Ha-Ha-ha, now Stanford won’t get a dime of MY money :)”</p>

<p>New Trier, relatively speaking, does not do as well with Stanford as with other elite schools. They usually send a lot more students to places like Princeton, Yale, Dartmouth, Chicago, Cornell, Vanderbilt, Wash U, or Brown. They usually don’t do as well with Columbia, Penn (it varies by year but since my year I have noticed they haven’t been accepting many people), or Stanford. Usually they do okay with Harvard</p>

<p>We went through this last year with our D. She applied RD to Stanford, but was rejected. What helped her somewhat was that she really hadn’t been looking at Stanford as a first choice, only a possibility, because she had high stats (2340, sal., NMF, musician, etc.) and was a legacy. So not getting in, while it was a crushing blow to her ego, didn’t mean the end of a long-term dream for her.</p>

<p>As a Christian, I do think that God has a grand plan, and a place for each person in it, and I also think He cares about the minutiae of a person’s life, including where she goes to college. A God who is big enough to comfort a typhoon victim in the Philippines is also small enough to care what you write in your application essays. But it is also true that he gives us choices, many of which could work out for our good.</p>

<p>What I said to my daughter (after she was calm enough to listen–rejection really hurts, let’s face it!) was that although Stanford was a good school, it wasn’t the place where she would be best prepared to lead the life she has been called to lead. It may be the ideal place for others, but not for her. And it’s good to recognize God’s wisdom, even if his plan isn’t clear or doesn’t make sense.</p>

<p>In the end, she chose Wellesley and has really thrived there. And I have seen God’s provision in this, as leaving home was a little more challenging than she expected, and we are only 25 miles away. What’s more, her grandfather died the day classes began, and having her near home was a great comfort to all of us. She also plugged into the Christian community there and has made many friends from a variety of backgrounds. While these things might have occurred elsewhere, she now feels very strongly that she is at Wellesley for a reason and that this is the best place for her at this point in her life.</p>

<p>Your daughter will, too, although it will take time. You can help by letting her grieve for a while, then refocusing her attention on her real choices and helping her to see the good in them. A kid with her stats will get in somewhere very good, and for her, it will be the best place.</p>

<p>Consider developing an internal locus of control instead of relying on the external locus of religion. Take any god’s will out of the equation. The facts- she had a chance, applied and was rejected. More facts- many more students who could succeed at Stanford (or any other college) will apply than can be accommodated. Time to get those other applications done by their deadlines. </p>

<p>Right now she probably shares your religious views but too much emphasis on “god’s will” et al could backfire if she ever questions your beliefs (which she hopefully will someday to either reject them or have them because she examined them and didn’t just carry on family tradition but found they suit her). Perhaps invoking religion helps her and she understands that is your way of giving her the most support/I love you that you can.</p>

<p>Now it is time to move on. </p>

<p>btw- my son told my sister several years ago when decisions were pending that he would pick our state flagship over Stanford. I bet his essays reflected that. No school is the only choice or best one. There will be equally intelligent, qualified and like minded students at other top tier U’s.</p>

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If you read the decision threads on this forum, few of the accepted students are in any kind of targeted group, and a good number from the forum do get accepted. The forum obviously isn’t a good representation of the overall app pool and rarely has top football recruits and such. Nevertheless, it shows that some forum members who are not in special groups do get accepted. </p>

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I did analyze the RD thread last year. Acceptance had a strong correlation with doing impressive things outside of the classroom, but not just national level. If accomplishments were not at least impressive on a regional level, the acceptance rate of thread posters was low. I expect this relationship existed because the accomplishments were correlated with passions, intellectual vitality, personality/character, and various other characteristics Stanford values.</p>

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According to the New Trier article at [New</a> Trier News : Senior Destinations](<a href=“http://www.newtriernews.org/features/2012/05/29/senior-destinations/]New”>Senior Destinations – New Trier News) , they only had 1 Stanford matriculation last year. Previous years show similar lower numbers with a median of ~1 per year. However, they had a good number of matriculations to YP and of course closer excellent schools, such U Chicago and Northwestern. The stats I’ve seen suggest S has a smaller degree of feeder relationships than HYP and similar. I am excluding HSs near enough to have a notable number of children of faculty and similar.</p>

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They are looking at the whole app. It can be demonstrated through many areas of the app besides essays such as LORs, ECs, class selection… nearly any non-stat area. On their website, they describe intellectual vitality as follows:</p>

<p>“We want to see your commitment, dedication and genuine interest in expanding your intellectual horizons; both in what you write about yourself and in what others write on your behalf. We want to see the kind of curiosity and enthusiasm that will allow you to spark a lively discussion in a freshman seminar and continue the conversation at a dinner table. We want to see the energy and depth of commitment you will bring to your endeavors, whether that means in a research lab, while being part of a community organization, during a performance or on an athletic field. We want to see the initiative with which you seek out opportunities that expand your perspective and that will allow you to participate in creating new knowledge.”</p>

<p>Back when I was accepted several years ago, I was not in a targeted group, did not attend a feeder HS or HS with a history of acceptances, did not not have state/national achievements, and did not even have good stats by CC standards. However, I did meet the description above well, and this was evident from my application.</p>

<p>I wonder what Stanford’s rejection rate is for Christians…</p>