<p>clapton-fan: I am sorry you took offense. But the way you worded the question</p>
<p>"Before you answer regarding the ethics of the equestion, which may be most important, first answer with regards to if it is technically possible."</p>
<p>To me this implies that you acknowledge there is something less than ethical about the deception and that perhaps ethics is MOST important.</p>
<p>"The student needs to own up to the mistakes made at college1"</p>
<p>How does pretending to be a freshman all over again, own up to the mistakes.??? </p>
<p>Did you read my second post??? Apparently not. I agreed that your student could do the right thing (as suggested by 2collegewego) and rectify the situation by honesty, hardwork and remorse. </p>
<p>The fact that you even thought of this as a possibility suggests less than honesty in your retort. Me thinks thou dost protest too much..........</p>
<p>by the way, my kids have made some whoppers in the past (but not with such dire consequences, I admit.) My answer is ALWAYS "learn from your mistakes and live with the consequences." I have never been a parent who tried to bail my kids out of situations of their own making..........unless they were truely honest mistakes. However, the signs must have been evident for several months, with opportunity to make some corrections in behavior/attitude. Usually, after the first quarter or semester......</p>
<p>This is not a "one time" mistake. I agree completely with jmmom</p>
<p>"It seems that it was a choice here, not an inability to make the grade. That will usually be the case with someone able to get a $20K merit award - they are likely in the top 10% or better of the incoming class. Ability is not the issue; motivation is...........The motivation issue doesn't seem to have been overcome yet"</p>
<p>Either your kid works with his current college to rectify the situation (if there is some grace period) or apply to a college that will accept his level of effort. Otherwise, history will repeat itself.</p>
<p>Well, I can remember some magical thinking a few times in my college and maybe even high school life about leaving my past mistakes and choices behind me and starting fresh. Without my "Permanent Record". </p>
<p>Those were some good daydreams, but then the real world of transcripts and social security numbers and previous Fafsa filings and countless other things intruded. But I can see someone musing about the possibilities without seriously considering them as a plan.</p>
<p>Unfortunately this was a public musing about using duplicity to circumvent the rules others are playing by and when you do that - well.....you have to expect someone is going to gig ya. That's all. It was a child-like idea that should have stayed unspoken, or it was in fact something worse. I don't think anyone can read the posts and think it was merely a curious intellect at play.</p>
<p>Leaving college 1 may be a missed opportunity - as an employer, I'm going to be very, very intrigued with a job candidate who faced a serious problem, confronted it, and successfully pulled themselves out of it, ESPECIALLY if the problem was self inflicted. That would make me have some degree of respect for their character and maturity. Comparatively, a candidate who went from college 1 to college 2, not so much; would make me wonder what they were running away from, and if avoiding responsibility was a learned behavior that would also poison my organization.</p>
<p>I am the dad. My son is the student. The ONLY reason that i asked the question is that my son asked me the question, and I did not know the answer. He did not have all that much seriousness in his question, but it got me wondering so i asked. </p>
<p>I will say, the change in his path is testing my wife and i beyond everything i thought possible. </p>
<p>He has endless awards in high school, 4.0+ every quarter, president of this club, leader of a service organization, very high SAT/ACT, good AP scores, and the 20,000.00 worth of scholarships. </p>
<p>My wife and I are in shock. I could write a book about all we feel. </p>
<p>The most important thing to me, is to love him, and support him, whatever he ends up doing, whatever path he takes. My father, who was a VP of a large corporation, never accepted my path (after he divorced my mom), even when i was promoted up the ranks in management (since it was never as high as he went). And i never received my MBA from Stanford like he did. Anyway, I have always pledged and promised myself to support my kids - no matter what they do.</p>
<p>Clapton-fan. Beautifully said. I'll bet we all feel your pain. It has to be a shock to your system. I would focus, if I were you, on helping your son find out whether there is a redemption path for him at his current school (grace period, reinstatement of scholarship after improved grades if you can afford the interim). How far off was he from the required GPA?</p>
<p>It really might not be a bad thing for him to "settle" for a less competitive school. It might fit him better than school #2. Unless you think he's learned his lesson and will step up to the plate at an equally competitive school to #1 that is affordable without the merit $$.</p>
<p>I know I was harsh in my previous post. I thought you might be the kid and need a tough love wake-up call. I often think it hurts us more than it hurts them.</p>
<p>It is hard to watch our kids flail at this stage, especially when the financial consequences are dire.</p>
<p>Although the Claptonfan should have tipped me off, I too, thought it was the '"kid" writing. We feel for you and most of us have probably known someone in your shoes (for me, I used my friend's son). $20,000 is alot to gamble with. The only thought I had was that it was mentioned that he had friends at school 2 - might be interesting to know how those friends fared. If they are doing well then they might be a good influence, if they are not doing well it might not help and it might be better to fall onto the mercy of school 1 and see if he can reclaim his scholarship after some period of time.</p>
<p>His friends at School-2 have been on the Dean's list. (These were his best friends, one in particular, at high school. In hindsight, it is easy for us to say that we should have steered him towards School-2 from day one. But all the indicators were there (from high school) that he would do just fine. </p>
<p>I will pass on this recommendation (and i already did above). ...</p>
<p>Take my advice, do NOT allow your son or daughter to matriculate into a college with a merit schlarship requiring them to maintain a certain high GPA. </p>
<p>I know, almost all of you will say that our story is the exception, and not the rule, and that some high percentage of those who receive scholarships maintain the GPA. You are probably right. But, you will kick yourself if your son or daughter mysteriously becomes an exception. Wouldn't happen, couldn't happen, right? </p>
<p>Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful posts.</p>
<p>I feel for you Claptonfan. My son did not do well either his 1st year of college (though he did not have a big scholarship to lose) but he ended up dropping out and working for a year and a half before realising living on min wage was not where he wanted to be. So he is going back and this time he is much more serious about it - but he is going to have a pretty tough time overcoming the low GPA from his 1st 3 semesters. He also wondered if it was possible to start fresh which we discovered it is not. (I am not from the US originally so it is all a steep learning curve for me). Some kids are just not quite ready when they first graduate HS. Good luck.</p>
<p>It is not that uncommon for kids to lose their scholarships. Our friends son got several scholarship offers and the one he took was a full ride requiring a certain GPA. He lost it the first semester (or year maybe). He had had another option that would not have been a full ride but would have been easier to maintain the GPA for. They very much regret not taking the lower $ scholarship as he would not have lost it. Having seen their experience was a learning experience for us.</p>
<p>Okay...I find it very interesting that some schools don't transfer GPAs! </p>
<p>Not to get all bitter again over a 25 year old issue...lol! But I did go before a committee of deans to protest inclusion of my old grades in my final gpa since some of the grades were for transfer credit not even allowed to satisfy my degree requirements. And I was turned down flat. All grades related to the transfer credits were included in my final GPA.</p>
<p>Still...good lesson from the school of hard knocks. </p>
<p>And I can relate to the irony of watching the school chums racking up the easy 4.0s back home at Flagship U. Mine is working so hard at a +/- school that does not give away the A's, and is in fact actively pressuring faculty to reduce the number of A's awarded (or so I hear).</p>
<p>
[quote]
some high percentage of those who receive scholarships maintain the GPA
[/quote]
There have been some threads on this subject but one recent one was regarding a scholarship tied to a very high GPA in engineering. I think the majority on this board stated that there was a high possibility that the scholarship could be lost, even with a student studying hard, due to the difficulty of the material and the tradition of grade deflation in engineering.</p>
<p>I think it's very prudent to consider the terms of the scholarship when making a decision to depend on it. Combine strict terms with the delta between HS and college GPAs (no 5 point AP classes, more difficult material, graded deflation in some majors) with the problems inherent in the kid now being off on his own with all of the 'distractions' present, and there's a real possibility one can end up without that scholarship they were financially dependent on.</p>
<p>Although I don't quite agree with clapton-fan that all families should avoid scholarships with a GPA minimum requirement, I do think the advice is very very wise if the family could not afford the school absent the merit scholarship. I still don't think it is a universal. I think you need to look at the GPA minimum (there is quite a range I have seen from "satisfactory progress - usually meaning around a 2.0 or even less, all the way to 3.5 or 3.7), where the kid falls among the incoming class, what the planned major is, what % of students with the scholarship typically maintain it...</p>
<p>I also think it is key to be on top of the watch-points along the way. Some think that college grades are the kid's own business. I don't think so if the grades affect the affordability of the school and/or the out-of-pocket the parents will have to make and/or the parents' own retirement. So... kids and parents should have open communication about how it's going based on mid-term grades, quizzes, etc. Early intervention in the motivational realm or seeking academic support could have perhaps avoided the tough situation the OP has encountered.</p>
<p>ldmom--both my D and I transfered from good to much better schools, and I think their thinking was that they wanted the GPA to represent their classes only, not what we brought. Ironically, we both had higher GPAs and would've loved to bring them with us.</p>
<p>^That makes sense garland. My move was pretty much lateral...one tier 3 state U to another tier 3 state U....lol! (I poke fun...but we did have one of the most respected acctg programs...with the highest CPA exam pass rate in the state. Just goes to show...it's the program that really counts. ;))</p>
<p>I don't know if the details matter. I won't name School-1. But there were several schools, that my son was accepted to, that he passed up in order to attend School-1. A few of the acceptances that were not pursued: UCLA, UCSD, UC Davis, Cal Poly, and more. It is painful at this point.</p>
<p>If S wants to stay at college1 and is willing to work to get his grades up, and if (a lot of "ifs") the school will give his the opportunity to earn back his $20,000...........then perhaps he should take a college loan for $20,000. When he graduates, he can pay it back. I know many, many people who have loans to pay back and if he "only" has $20,000, he is ahead of many others who scrape together money for college.</p>
<p>I have no doubt this is painful. I also want to tell you that I really, really doubt your son is unusual. Lots of people leave after freshman year and there are a LOT of reasons. Going away to college requires motivation, seriousness of purpose <em>*self-discipline</em> that our children often do not have. </p>
<p>I really would go speak to the school and see if there's a way to rescue this issue. There <em>are</em> jobs on campus. There <em>are</em> ways of cutting costs. There may well be ways to raise that gpa. If his gpa is generally good but too low for the scholarship, perhaps there are other scholarships out there for which he could apply. Perhaps he can find an off-campus housing situation that would be cheaper and keep him away from temptation a bit (if that's an issue). Specifically, I'm thinking of renting a room in a house or trading a room in a house for yard work/ minor babysitting (I realize that might be harder for a man). </p>
<p>If his gpa is below a 3.0, I think he would not be eligible to transfer to a comparable school. He might apply (because he has nothing to lose) but you two should brainstorm some money-making ideas:</p>
<ul>
<li>Is there a way you guys can drum up $: ?Sell a car? ?Sell an old instrument? ?Hold a huge garage sale?</li>
<li>Apply to be an RA next year</li>
<li>Apply for an on-campus job </li>
<li>Work off-campus</li>
<li>Look into shared off-campus housing or a room rental</li>
<li>Look into free housing in exchange for work</li>
<li>Work TWO jobs this summer <em>or</em> get a job and tutor-- run to his old high school now and see if he can get his name advertised in the last paper/ parent newsletter as a tutor to prepare kids for math, ap, sat etc</li>
<li>Since you said he was a good student, perhaps he could start his own inexpensive SAT classes this summer-- see if the rec center will rent him a room and help him prepare a syllabus based on vocab words and 10 REAL SATs </li>
</ul>
<p>Be creative. I agree that you need to be supportive but being a good parent means guiding our kids. We all fail sometimes. Teach him to be resourceful and to bounce back. Your son's bad year could end up being a growing experience for him. He could even end up with a much clearer picture of what he wants to do in life after he gets some work experience.</p>
<p>Some interesting ideas 2collegewego that I hadn't thought of. This entire post goes into the tickler file for next year. I really hope I don't need it but I seriously doubt this poster is the only parent asking these kinds of questions or dealing with this situation of lost scholarships.</p>
<p>clapton-fan, I hope you will keep posting and updating this thread. Obviously other parents are sympathetic and concerned. The answers you get from the school will say something about how they value their students. (And you might be urged to name the school here, eventually.) Schools use scholarships to attract top students, and apparently they lured your son away from some pretty good competition. Now, are they discarding him because of his performance, or are they willing to work with him? In the mercinary sense, they could use that scholarship money next year to lure someone else. Or did they try to work with him, send warnings, etc, but to no avail?</p>