Starting uni year 3 and want to know, how can I make this year more fulfilling than the last

Student Lounge College Life
1

So if anyone has seen threads I’ve made,I’ve had some issues while at uni. I do have anxiety which makes me ruminate a lot. I’ve scheduled a meeting with the counselor to deal with this but right now my main issue is making friends. Right now, I only have a few people who are really friends and have mainly acquintances. This gets me down as I spend a lot of time by myself and I get lonely. I did join a fencing club and another one for games but the thing is, I’m so bad at small talk and make things awkward sometimes, which makes me cringe. I’m shy/introverted and going up to talk to people makes me anxious. Even if I see people I know, I feel too anxious to stop and chat for fear of making things awkward. For the club, I will do it again this year to try and branch out more but as another tip, how do you move from acquintances to friends?

2

Don’t just join clubs. Get involved in a volunteer activity. Get a campus job. Get involved in the campus ministry, if you are religious. These days, most campus ministries are accepting of all faiths, or even those of no faith. As far as moving from acquaintances to friends, after you’ve seen an acquaintance several times, and you like that person, and if the time is right, just casually say “if you have some free time right now, want to go get a coffee?” Or, “want to sit under the tree for a couple of minutes? I’m interested in your opinion…” Look for an opportunity to suggest something naturally.

3
  1. It may be time to get medically evaluated for anxiety since it is preventing you from doing what you want to do
  2. Watch other people make small talk. What do they talk about?
  3. Talk to your counselor about making small talk…maybe you can have a script to start out with.
  4. See what TV shows people are talking about that and watch that so you have a common topic.
    Also see:
    http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html
4

There are actually clubs and meet ups for people that are introverted. Also meet ups are great since it’s a mixed community and usually on a central interest you might have. In reality if you have 1-2 people you can call friend with some acquintances… This is more normal then you might think. As I tell my kids at college you can be whomever you want to be. Get the help you need and become that person.