<p>I have deliberately waited to post this until after the student's exams were completed and with respect to the students at UVA who are on cc and dealing with the murder of their classmate Yeardley Love. I read about this lawyer last week making very disturbing remarks regarding the history of violence against women at UVA. This morning she was on CBS's The Early Show again and her words were more emphatic than before. </p>
<p>I would like to know how some of you who are female students there view your social M/F experiences. Or, if there are parents of daughters who go/went there and would like to share their views, please be honest; we are trying to find out the truth, not a sugar coated version that is given in order to protect the university's image. If you would rather share them privately, please PM me. </p>
<p>We are in state and I have a high school daughter who is interested in UVA, but is very "spooked" by hearing about this story. We are trying to see all sides and learn more about the violence situation, both its history and the steps that will be taken by UVA to address it in the future. Thank you for your help.</p>
<p>“We are in state and I have a high school daughter who is interested in UVA, but is very “spooked” by hearing about this story.”</p>
<p>I guess your daughter will run out of options since I’m sure she finds Virginia Tech’s failure to: 1) detect psychopaths such as Seung-Hui Cho (massacre shooter–32 dead) and Haiyang Zhu (who decapitated a student at the Au Bon Pain on campus) 2) patrol popular campus hang out places like the Jefferson National Forest where two VT students were murdered last year, VERY VERY spooky as well.</p>
<p>There are over 20,000 students on campus. If only one (or even a couple) of those is a bad seed, that is a lot better than the world at large. Are you suggesting the boyfriend should have been kicked out of college for drinking at the wrong place/time to get arrested? Have you been to a frat party? I’m sure many of them would have need to have been tasered if they were being arrested.</p>
<p>I’m a girl. I had an incident with an ex boyfriend that involved stalking. I had people walk me around everywhere until it was settled. But random boy students? No. The townies who go around robbing people are more of an issue than the male students. I just got another email about another Corner robbing (these guys had the audacity to go into an unlocked apartment and rob people at gunpoint). Charlottesville is a small city with a pretty high poverty rate and racial divide that is reflected in the public schools.</p>
<p>Most UVA male students are gentlemen who hold doors open and wouldn’t kill someone. But there is the 1 in 4 statistic regarding sexual assault and I believe that one is highly accurate (again, frat parties? But that’s not exclusive – I’m sure a lot of those are people dating or in relationships as well). This applies to all colleges not just UVA. So I would be more worried about that than random murders no one can predict. College is a stressful environment and you don’t know how that will impact someone and you can’t predict that. But you can act safely, not walking around late at night (alone or not) and locking your doors and such, to do as much as you can to prevent things from happening to you – but it’s life, you can’t stop everything bad, it just happens sometimes.</p>
<p>I mean, there are a number of suicides at UVA every year, so technically it is more likely for your daughter to commit suicide here than to be murdered. Or to be in a traffic accident. Or get swine flu. JUST SAYING. I consider it a very safe place if you are not wandering around alone late at night or leaving your door unlocked or running into oncoming traffic without looking, and again you cannot predict life. It’s a lot less likely than at a school in New York City or Philly or Richmond, etc. And there’s a hospital right near by if something does happen.</p>
<p>wahoomb, I truly feel sorry for you. Your post was very uncalled for and borders on being cruel. (to my kid) This was a genuine question from me on her behalf. Obviously you know she has a big brother at VT and therefore you know she is aware of the attacks there. I am asking about UVA and was hopeful that I could get helpful people to respond to a legitimate concern. The malicious attitude you convey is very, very sad indeed and is very offensive. </p>
<p>shoebox, I am very sorry. I thought exams were over (most kids in our neighborhood have come home in the last two days from different state schools). My fault on that one.</p>
<p>hazelorb, thanks for your 2c. It is just that when you read the text of the show and the lawyer’s words, it seems like there has been more to it than I had been aware of. Your post was very helpful.</p>
<p>To the OP, I don’t think the lawyer described an especial problem at U.VA, but only used it as an (obvious) example of a problem at college campuses across the U.S.</p>
<p>As wahoomb sarcastically implied, there is violence at other schools. I think we would both agree that it is silly to say that top Virginia public universities breed a culture of violence.</p>
<p>nathey, you are absolutely right, there is violence on many campuses…unfortunately several of the schools in our state have had tragedies occur at these wonderful universities in the last few years. Is has been tough to take for many Virginians who love their schools.</p>
<p>The reason for my post was because the video of the attorney Wendy Murphy from the Early Show this specifically stated (after saying many schools across the country develop policies of “deliberate blindness” when it comes to violence against women), that UVA had a “terrible reputation” of violence against women. Apparently, she is involved with a case against UVA because it isn’t in compliance with federal laws concerning the responsibilties a university has in dealing with violence against women. She went on to say that UVA has “not been paying attention” and has “done the opposite” of what should have been done. As a lifelong resident of this state, I was taken back by her words. I had not heard anything to that effect before and I want to learn more as a parent of a prospective high school female.</p>
<p>In reading the various posts on the parents board, it is obvious that domestic violence and violence against women on campuses is much more of a problem than I was ever aware of. What I am trying to understand is are there students (male or female) at UVA who know this problem to be as bad as Wendy Murphy made it sound? If so, do they feel that the administration will acknowledge it and take serious steps to try to bring about change? We all know that sometimes it takes something awful happening for change to occur. Maybe Yeardley’s death will make campuses across the country safer because other schools will follow the steps that UVA takes… if they choose to take them.</p>
<p>She’s a lawyer. She’s trying to make her case. You can’t believe everything lawyers say or how could one of them win a trial over another? She says it isn’t in compliance and they do the opposite of what should be done, and what evidence has been given that those statements are true? Yeah, none, that’s why you’re asking us.</p>
<p>If anything, the “history” is a reference to the silence policy that existed 5-10 years ago regarding sexual assault, not murders, and btw that policy obviously doesn’t exist anymore because they got sued BIG TIME for that. I have no idea what she could possibly be talking about now, and by her comments about how a student should be expelled for drinking I think she probably doesn’t have much of a case unless there’s something we all don’t know about, in which case none of us know about it!</p>
<p>“She’s a lawyer. She’s trying to make her case”</p>
<p>I totally agree and obviouly she is being asked to be on many of these shows solely due to the media interest in the murder. However, many of the points she brings up give room for pause and I believe warrant attention, especially for those of us with teen daughters. I felt her words were more unsettling to read/hear given the statement recently made by Gil Harrington regarding the violence against her daughter (Morgan) and Yeardley in Charlottesville, “The powers that be,” she says, “need to look at what’s happening and not continue a policy of complacency.” </p>
<p>hazelorb, when I watched the video, it was my understaning that the non-compliance issue dealt with Title IX, believe it or not. Apparently that law is much broader in scope and affects women’s equality with men in many areas, not just those that are sports related. It will be interesting to see what transpires in the next few weeks/months regarding a response.</p>
<p>Having been around UVa for two years my best advice is the advice you always give your daughter. Don’t walk alone, be aware of your surroundings, keep your doors locked. All of them.</p>
<p>Speaking to female friends at a lot of different schools you/she needs to have an exit plan when at frat parties etc. Be careful to watch what you drink/ don’t put your drink down. Date rape is prevelant everywhere even in H.S. </p>
<p>Murders are rare but they happen everywhere. Yale, VT, UVa, U of Illinois, Wisconsin, and on and on. This one has two rich good looking people with tons of talent. It makes a good story and attracts lawyers who want to mug for the camera. Think Gloria Alred.</p>
<p>Having said that please remember that UVa is not suddenly some haven for murderers. Obviously all of us are unsettled, but for the most part what you see when you are here is what you experience while you are here.</p>
<p>So no matter what you and your D decide understand, and make her understand, that she needs to keep herself safe and get help from you, the school and others if needed. A nice can of mace might be helpful as well. :)</p>
<p>No one is forcing any UVA student to reply to this thread or any other thread about the tragedy. If you can’t stand to read any posts about it, then don’t read the thread.</p>
<p>The bottomline is that rapes are a problem at UVA, year after year. Administrators cover up stories and avoid leaking anything so as not to ruin the reputation of UVA. It’s very disturbing for me to think that a raper could still graduate, while someone who stole a pencil could get expelled.</p>
<p>Well the two things are handled by two different student committees so I don’t know how true that is but it’s not false either. Honor is a very public organization which deals with cheating. Sexual assault is covered by UJC which is not at all in the public eye. In both cases, someone who is not proven guilty will graduate/get away with it/however you like to think of it. But both are student run (with administrators having some influence over UJC cases brought but no influence over honor). Like I said there used to be a silence policy but that is not in effect anymore. I would like to think that UJC is good at what they do but I can’t verify that. In both cases, students proven guilty are kicked out.</p>
<p>Sexual assaults should be a criminal case handled by law and not the student body. I would think UJC would handle sexual harassment.</p>
<p>Here is the info from the UJC webpage:
The UJC hears cases of alleged misconduct by a student or student group brought to its attention by any member of the academic or civic community. Anyone can file a case. The committee has no jurisdiction over cases under consideration by the Department of Student Heath or cases involving allegations of sexual assault, violation of University motor vehicle regulations, contractual disputes between students and the University, and Violations of the Honor Code.</p>
<p>The problem with a lot of sexual assault cases on college campuses is that they are not prosecutable in a court of law, or even as violations of a student code of conduct, because the facts are disputed. In my brief experience (not at UVA) several decades ago as a faculty rep on a committee that heard such cases, the “typical” case involved a couple that had been drinking way to excess. Both would agree that some sexual contact had occurred but the woman would say that she had not consented (or had withdrawn consent) and the man would say that no, she had consented. No witnesses, and sometimes a long gap between the event and the reporting of the event.</p>
<p>I am absolutely NOT justifying any university’s complacency about sexual assault or domestic violence. I think that consciousness needs to be raised both among male students and female students and that the institution needs to be vigorous in encouraging the reporting of such incidents. But the common situation is not a Yeardley Love/George Hughely one.</p>
<p>We were told at our convocation by dear old Casteen the 1 in 4 stat (after being told to look to our left and our right at our “brothers and sisters”… and then of course we were told about how we could be sitting near our future spouse too… anyways then we were told to take care of eachother) so I wouldn’t say they don’t talk about it. But again I haven’t been through this in person at UVA so I can’t say how UVA handles it. Plus this is only if it is reported as you say.</p>
<p>EWLW- do you mind elaborating a little bit? </p>
<p>I take it you’re suggesting even more women in the sorority system are sexually abused than women not so associated. Is there a code of silence against reporting assaults? I’m trying to figure out too why it would be suggested to be more common among sorority women, other than the obvious that as a group they are more easy prey due to accepted fraternizing (associating as members and I know of no equal sororitizing word) with the fraternities. </p>
<p>Trying to be careful here not to stereotype groups as sexual assaults occur with a wide brush in general.</p>