<p>It is an interesting thread. Among my D’s friends, I see all kinds of scenarios. She has some wealthy friends from h.s. who will never have to pay their own way. One couple told me years ago they will buy their D a house in her name only, and make the future SIL sign a pre-nup. This was while our kids were in 10th grade. She spent fall semester in Florence, and liked it so much she went back for summer session, all paid for by mommy and daddy. Another of D’s h.s. friends just got back from study abroad in Rome, and spent a weekend at home before going to NY for a summer class at Parsons, all paid for by mommy and daddy. Both young ladies go to private U’s, and have unlimited spending budgets. I just wonder how they would live if they had to pay for any of these things themselves. They never will, of course, unless something unthinkable happens.
My D’s college friends are different. Most of them have to take out loans, and are expected to pay the parents back for the study abroad trip,etc. Needless to say, they have paid internships/jobs for the summer. They think my D is spoiled because we haven’t made her take out loans.
My kid is somewhere in the middle- we are paying for her college, happy to do so, but expect her to work and contribute. She did a study abroad semester, but that’s it for the college travel budget. She is working two jobs this summer. We don’t want to set up unrealistic life expectations by sending her on multiple trips abroad and indulging every shopping whim. We won’t try to control her marriage by buying her a house while making the SIL sign a pre-nup. We are easing her towards independence.</p>