Stay in dorm or move home and commute?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Hi, i'm new. I came here because I need some opinions on my situation, it would be great if I could get any help. I had no idea this would be so long, please forgive me...</p>

<p>School starts next month, and I'm going to be a sophomore. I lived in dorms last year, but I can't decide for the life of me what I want to do this year. Last year when I lived in the dorms, I felt so lonely because I couldn't make any friends from my hall or from class. Here's why: I was on good terms with my roommates, but one was an international student who only hung out with her classmates that also came here from back home; and my other roommate had a boyfriend of 5 years so they always wanted to be together. I have friends that I talk to from high school that also go here, but they're all commuters and they all have their own groups of closer friends so I can't really rely on them. I'm a nice person but I'm very shy at first, and I clam up when lots of people are around like in class. So I never had any luck making real friends in class. There was this girl from my high school that lived 2 doors down from me, and we got closer because of that, but she got into some problems with her two roommates and wanted to switch rooms with me. I knew her roommates and they seemed like really nice people (also both international students). So when they suggested I switch with my friend, I agreed, thinking here's my chance of making new friends. At first it was really nice because all three of us would hang out together and study together. But I realized really soon that they are best friends, and they didn't really want me in their tight friendship. They would decide things on their own, or make plans with other friends without thinking to invite me along, even though I introduce them to all of my friends. I felt so left out and even more sad. The only thing I looked forward to was coming home on the weekends to my family and my best friend that was a senior in high school. </p>

<p>So fast forward a little, my best friend didn't get into my university. We had planned to dorm together and it was going to be the best thing ever. But that won't happen anytime soon unless she transfers after 2 years at the local college near our neighborhood. I am so afraid this year will be the same as last year, where I have no one to really talk to, and I'm always by myself feeling sad and left out of the amazing college life that everyone else around me is having. </p>

<p>Another thing is, when I applied for dorms for this year back in march, I had no idea my financial aid would decrease and both tuition/dorms increased. If I choose to stay with my dorm, I would have to take out $7000 loans to cover those expenses. If I decide to cancel my dorm and live at home, not only do I not have to take out any loans at all, but I'd have $4000 left over from my grants that I can keep. I had planned to study abroad my junior year, and this money would help me pay for some of it if I decide to go through with that. </p>

<p>I know a lot of people who commute, and one of my good friends will be commuting for a second year, she has to take 2 buses. I'm lucky because I have a bus stop 15 minutes walk from my house that goes straight to college which takes 45 minutes. My family doesn't think I can stick it out for a whole year, walking and bussing everyday. My parents told me that since I got into a nice college, I should focus on studying instead of caring about the money, because if I get a good job later on, $7000 is nothing. They said studying abroad is a bad idea, there is nothing that I could learn better in another country that I cannot learn from my own university; and it's better to travel when I'm older instead of studying there. </p>

<p>I agree with my parents that commuting would take a lot of time, it would be late when I get home and I would be tired, and I might not be able to do it after one month. I also have to study a lot harder than I did last year to get into a very competitive major, and I have more hard classes than I did last year. But I think if I really put my mind to it, I could do it. My friends can, so why can't I, you know? And think of all the money I can save! Even if I don't study abroad, I can do something else with it. </p>

<p>The main problem is still that I am all alone in the dorm. If I commute, at least I have my family to come back to, and I know I will be eating with my family every night, and I have my best friend here who I can count on to be there for me.</p>

<p>So I don't know what to do...I have less than one week to decide if I want to cancel my dorm and pay the $500 cancellation fee. I would appreciate if anyone read this far and are willing to share any opinion/advice they have with me. Thank you!</p>

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<p>I’m thinking that you wouldn’t have an extra 4,000 to keep. I would think that your aid may be adjusted.</p>

3

<p>^^I don’t think your aid would be adjusted (Mine didn’t when something similar happened to me). </p>

<p>Honestly, I think taking out $7,000 in loans to cover dorming is way too much if you can avoid it. That would be about $14,000 for living in the dorms your freshmen and sophomore years alone!</p>

<p>In this economy, there is no guarantee you’ll be able to find a job that will allow you to pay off that debt (Depends on your major though). If you enjoyed living on campus, I would still give this advice, but since you seem to want to commute anyways I think paying the $500 fee is the way to go. </p>

<p>My commute is a little better than yours (10 minutes driving and 30 minute bus ride), but as long as you use that time to study, it’s not that bad.</p>

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<p>BTW, studying abroad is DEFINITELY something to do if you can. If you’re a language major, it’s an obligation. If not, it will make yo proficient in another language but most of all help you discover another culture and new ways of thinking, stretching you beyond what you can imagine and making you more adaptable (something that is very, very useful in today’s global economy). People who haven’t studied abroad often confuse it with “vacationing”. It’s not.
Overall, you should first call your financial aid office and explain your situation - that you’re considering not living in the dorms because your FA has decreased and your family’s income has decreased too. They may adjust it. However, it’s very late in the game for that, and I’d advise against getting that much money in loans for housing.
If you decide to commute, see if you can read/study on the bus (or does that make you queasy?), if the commute is safe, how much it costs compared to dorms, whether you’d still be involved on campus (you’d have to take the very last bus every day, perhaps eating on campus - think of study groups for example). Finally, set that money aside for education expenses, such as your study abroad plans. Do NOT use if for day-to-day expenses no matter how convenient it’d be for you to use it for whatever you want. That money should be for your education only, not for any other purpose.</p>

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<p>It sounds as if commuting would work for you. I agree with the posters who have said to talk to your financial aid department to determine how your aid would be adjusted first before you make any decisions. Then see if you could come back to the dorms if it doesn’t work out - if there is space available. Then try commuting. If you had to drive 45 minutes I may think differently but if there is a bus and you can do homework or read on the bus, or at least listen to books on tape (maybe you can tape your most challenging classes and listen to them on the way if you get carsick reading on the bus.) I wouldn’t take $7000 in loans for rooming in the dorms when you are a relatively short bus ride away and it sounds as if you really didn’t care for the dorms anyway.</p>

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<p>Are dorms your only option? Any possibility of rooming in close off campus apartment with other roommates?</p>

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<p>There’s a lot of hype about “college life” and the awesome social scene there. While college is a great place to make new friends and meet new people, sometimes people just aren’t ready for it or don’t agree with the congested environment. From what you described, dorm living doesn’t seem to be right for you. You might meet new people this year but chances are that they will already have established friendships from years past, so you run the risk of finding yourself in a similar situation to last year. If I were you I would save the money and live at home. You said there are several kids who commute from your home town, maybe you could communicate with them about car pool? That way, you would be driving a portion of the time and they would all take turns driving as well so that you could nap in the car. Good luck- I
Hope all goes well for you :)</p>

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<p>Thanks guys, I will go to the FA office tomorrow and check in with them. Fingers crossed my aid won’t change due to the dorm cancellation… I will try commuting first, and see if there are any other options during Winter quarter if it gets too overwhelming. I appreciate all your help :)</p>