<p>So due to a bad high school system, lack of information, being a part of a first generation immigrant family who did not go to college in America, and lack of guidance or anything I am in the situation I am in right now. I made mistakes on my part as well. </p>
<p>I am a sophomore in college in my second semester. The school I go to is a 4 year commuter university. I have tried to connect with people here and so have some of my classmates but seems like nearly everyone here sticks to their high school buddies. Thing is, we have two kids. One type of kids are from the surburban area high schools about 5 miles away from here, they have great social lives due to their high schools being big and them being near so many of their friends. A lot of them throw house parties too. The other type of kids are the kids I fall in with, these are kids from the urban inner city areas. A lot of these kids are the kind that just work and go home, majority do not have good social lives and are just trying to get away from here.</p>
<p>The category I fall into is kid who went to high school in the urban area but still lives decently in one of the few good neighborhoods there. </p>
<p>Long story short, there is a huge divide and my social life has taken a huge hit. A lot of the friends I have met have been those from outside of college, sad right? Most kids here go to class and then go home. </p>
<p>Right now, I am sitting at a Starbucks studying, school library closes at around 7 PM haha.</p>
<p>Basically, it is a pain, parents who have been through same with their kids, how did your kids cope?</p>
<p>I had a different experience, but also found that my college social life was not as rewarding as I wanted it to be. I was away from home at what turned out to be a suitcase school. I think when this happens, you find yourself on a faster track toward an adult social life, really, where there usually isn’t a ready-made group of friends that are all connected to each other, and you make friends on an individual basis.</p>
<p>If you are getting a good education and will have nice job opportunities after graduation, that is the most important thing to get out of college. Maybe transferring to a different college is an option. If not, and if there are no clubs or organizations at the college that would help you meet some new friends, maybe you can volunteer in the community. That might improve your resume while also putting you in touch with like-minded people.</p>
<p>Commuting is much more common than it used to be, as people try to get that college education without the big pricetag. Commuters meet more intentionally and have to join interest groups, etc… to get a social life. But even resident college students can be shocked by how unsocial college can be. After high school, when it’s ALL social life, college is a big change. Adults don’t have friends measured in dozens, and we don’t have super-active social lives (most of us don’t, at least). We are friends with people we meet at church, at volunteering, at sports clubs or gyms, at things geared to our interests. You sound a little bitter about the parties you perceive you are missing, but at the end of college all those friends of convenience will disappear, and your real connections will be left. So be glad you are ahead of that, and making friends based on connections even if it’s not by the dozen.</p>
<p>Happykid commutes to our local community college. Her best friends there are two pals from her HS class. Since she is a Theater Tech major, she is involved in all sorts of different productions (musical, drama, dance) throughout the school year, and has built-in ways to meet other students. If your major doesn’t have natural ways to meet more people (group projects and the like), and you haven’t found a club that is interesting to you, stroll over to the theater building and see if they can use a hand painting sets or making costumes. You probably don’t have to be a theater major to participate.</p>
<p>I never had the social life in college to begin with. My high school had a really small number of kids, a good social life is paramount to me. Transferring is really what I am considering even if it puts me in debt or prolongs graduation.</p>
<p>I was like you in college, lived at home, and commuted to school. I didn’t meet anyone or make any real friends until after my sophomore year when I joined a campus organization. One thing led to another, and I ended up getting involved with more things on campus and making more friends. Bottom line, if you want to make friends, you have to join some type of campus organization, whether it’s an interest club, young Republicans, the newspaper, intramural sports, or something else that interests you.</p>
<p>The only challenge with this scenario is that it is an unrealistic one. As long as you are a dependent student, your parents are in the position to state whether they are going to pay for a prolonged graduation and if they will pay for a residential college. </p>
<p>The only “debt” that you will be able to accrue without a co-signer is stafford loans; 5500 freshman year,6500 sophomore year and 7500 junior/senior year, which will not be enough to pay for residential college (it will not even cover room and board at most schools).</p>
<p>OP - Your post brings back memories of my first two years of college. IMHO your instincts are on point … commuting to college may get you a degree, but it leaves a lot of holes in your education. As Sybbie points out, residential college is a LOT more expensive than commuting. You may not have the option of transferring. If you can’t transfer, you need to explore every social opportunity you can identify. This issue of social isolation won’t resolve itself without effort on your part. Good luck.</p>
<p>I lived at home and commuted. I envied those that didn’t but it is what I could afford. I did join clubs on campus and got to know a lot of people and had a pretty good social life even though I didn’t feel I bonded as the kids in dorms did. I went on to other schools for more degrees and got very close to my classmates (who I still consider close friends). </p>
<p>I now teach at a university in Canada. Like most Canadian universities, kids live at home and commuting is normal. Most make friends far beyond their highschool but the campuses are big. With all the millions of extra-curriculars, they aren’t for a second getting less of an education. Canadian kids seem to turn out just fine (as to most kids in other countries outside of the US I should add). I realize now that it is really is a uniquely American thing for college to be more like one big four year summer camp or ‘life experience’ package of which the actual degree is a small part. I think its overrated to be honest (and its one reason the US has such out of reach educational costs). </p>
<p>Back to the OP-- my sense is you might be making attributions which are hurting you. I imagine you are on a fairly large campus and from the outside looking you, you’ve decided what the ‘camps’ are and that you can’t break it and the social situation you have can only be solved by transferring. It seems suspiciously oversimplified. How do you know these groups you are not part of all went to highschool together? What clubs and activities have you joined and how have they gone for you? How about people in your major?</p>