Okay so I’m entering my junior year in a few days and I have literally no close friends at college. I have many friends but none of them are really close to me. So in classes, even if I know a couple of these people, I usually have to sit by myself and it’s really annoying. I’ve tried really hard to join clubs and make friends in classes. Whatever club I’ve ever gone to was really boring and in classes, people seem to be in a rush, never really speak to you a lot after the class or about anything else. Since I’m away from “home”, I even have to celebrate my birthdays alone and this really hurts my feelings. I do try to be social and speak to everyone, but it just seems like it doesn’t work; people have their own friends, don’t really like me or want to know me, etc. Any suggestions of how I can make process?
Sorry to hear this and frankly, it is a really common problem for a lot of students. I think you have to think outside of your comfort zone. First, meeting in class…ya, that doesn’t happen that often. Everyone is trying to get in and out of class quickly, not a great social environment generally speaking.
You have to find some clubs that aren’t boring. Isn’t there something that interests you? No offense, but could it be that you are a little boring??? Not trying to be insulting (cause we can all be boring to at times and need to get out there more), but are you looking beyond the familiar? There has to be some clubs or organizations, community service groups, that you could jump into. Be sure to go to club day when school starts up next week. Did you think of an on campus, or just off campus job? There’s some cool groups that help in the local neighborhood, you sign up for the days/times…check online for volunteering at USC.
Have you been into the department of your major and searched out any opportunities in there?
Just throwing out random thoughts, I am sure others will jump in - wish you the best. Keep in mind most people coming back this year are hoping to meet new friends or even their first good friend too. There are a lot of people at USC looking to meet others. Dig deep and think about new things to get into.
Can you pick a club or organization that is actively doing stuff? Like volunteer for theater productions (they always need backstage and set help!), or see if you can get involved with a student publication. Do you have a part time job? You have to spend time with people to make friends.
I think it is tougher than ever for people to connect because people of all ages are on devices and online. Simple things that people used to do which forced and caused them to interact are now done on the computer. For example college students used to have to go to the laundry room to check and see if a machine was open or wait the last few minutes while their cycle ended. This would mean bumping into someone and striking up a conversation and getting to know others. Now they just check online and wait in their rooms. College registration used to mean long lines and waiting in the field house. Guess what happened? You got talking to those around you and met people! Now, just a few clicks and you’re done.
Each year is different and maybe this will be your year where you will connect with the right people. Just keep being friendly, make eye contact and smile. Keep trying to put yourself in the company of others. I know my words probably don’t help much but I hope to reassure you that you are not alone in this problem. I hope it’s a great school year.
Did you connect with anyone on your hall freshmen year? Even though it has been a year or more since you ran into them, you could get to know them again by texting them to meet for lunch or coffee on campus to catch up.
You definitely want to get involved. There are hundreds of clubs at USC, so there must be one that does not bore you. You could also start your own club relating to one of your passions. One fun club I would recommend is the USC Escape Room Club. They design, build and run pop up escape room games around campus, and they take field trips to commercial escape rooms in the L.A. area. They can use all skill sets. If you have trouble locating them PM me and I will put you in touch with one of their officers.