stereotype the Ivies for me please?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Princeton University
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<p>Actually GaimanFan got those stereotypes from here</p>

<p>The</a> Ivy Taxonomy: Meet the Players - IvyGate: The Ivy League blog. News, gossip, sex, sports and more at Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, Penn, Princeton and Yale</p>

<p>Lol, they've been around for quite a while</p>

<p>FROM THE WEBSITE</p>

<p>Brown
Hippy, or anarchist, depending. The Ivy for slackers; no requirements, no shampoo. Dude, do you guys have any chips? Inexplicably high pop culture rating. Drinks: ethanol Kool-Aid. Darkest secret: Wasn’t sure at first if Brown was an Ivy. Should have gone here: Otto the bus driver.</p>

<p>Columbia
Self-loathing hipster. Too many cigarettes to smoke, too much black to wear to care about anything. Did we mention we’re In The City Of New York? (Also known as Yale’s Waitlist.) Drinks: vodka soda; doesn’t like it. Darkest secret: Hasn’t gone below 108th St. in six weeks. Should have gone here: Courtney Love.</p>

<p>Cornell
Pesky tow-headed cousin character introduced late to the sitcom. Nouveau riche, and desperately wishing he could hide his hick ag-school accent. Drinks: Molson. Darkest secret: Actually obtaining an education. Should have gone here: Marge Gunderson.</p>

<p>Dartmouth
Has gone crazy talking to itself in the wilderness of Hanover. Old, tiny, and furious. White (ahem) hot, even. The Ivy League’s hairy palm. Drinks: Gin. Darkest secret: Wonders what life would be like in sunny Evanston. Should have gone here: Christopher Hitchens.</p>

<p>Harvard
Preternaturally talented, good-looking, or wealthy--but never more than one of the three. Upon meeting you, displays initial status discomfort (will tell you she goes to school "in Boston") but slowly gives way to dependence. Drinks: Brandy, hates self for it. Darkest secret: Next stay at McLean’s is free! Should have gone here: You, if only it wasn't for those 1200 loser nerd ****s.</p>

<p>Penn
Big, dumb and sweet, Penn just wanted to pet the pretty rabbits. Really good at finance, though! You know, like an idiot savant. Drinks: Beast, at Philadelphia's finest BYO restaurants. Darkest secret: Tic Tac testicles. Should have gone here: Gary Busey.</p>

<p>Princeton
Sports tweed jackets. Likes sports. Uses "sport" as every part of speech. Would hunt quail if he had the stamina to carry a gun. Drinks: Whiskey, neat. Darkest secret: Kind of thinks it would be okay to let the Goldbergs join the country club. Should have gone here: Anyone with four names.</p>

<p>Yale
Life is an argument, and Yale will win it. Not as arrogant as Harvard (barely), not as pretentious as Princeton (barely), Elis are like Goldilocks's third bowl of oatmeal: white and bland. Also consider Patrick Bateman's "That whole Yale thing" definition: "A closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine." Drinks: $5 Red Stripes, but the atmosphere at Toad's is totally worth it, don't you think? Darkest secret: Crimson really is a nice shade, isn't it? Should have gone here: Tucker Carlson.</p>

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<p>Columbia - NYC, baby! (aka. Yale's waitlist)</p>

<p>made my day</p>

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<p>Anyone care to make some up for the other top colleges (in good fun of course).</p>

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<p>hahah That's hilarious, especially Harvard--</p>

<p>Should have gone here: You, if only it wasn't for those 1200 loser nerd ****s.</p>

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<p>Williams</p>

<p>The type of people who run triathlons in the morning, climb a mountain before lunch, and then swim a few miles "to cool down." Not quite as nerdy as Swarthmore, not quite as boozy as Dartmouth, not quite as preppy as Princeton. Like Dartmouth in that they have a weird mascot (Purple Cows...The Big Green...who comes up with this stuff?). Drinks: Gatorade (Varsity athletes), water from Nalgenes (everyone else). Darkest secret: What happens at WOOLF, stays within the WOOLF group. Oh wait, nothing really happened. Should have gone here: The US Olympic Cycling Team.</p>