Still struggling to make friends

<p>Sorry for the rant :( just feels good to let it out!</p>

<p>I've posted on here before a few weeks ago about improving my social life. It has improved a tiny bit but not by too much. Last week my school hosted an event and took some students into the city to a night club. I tagged along with my friend and her roommate. We had fun. I did meet a few new people but it was just small talk. While at the club I danced with a few guys from my school. But it just seemed like they were only interested in getting my number. Not so much friendship. I guess it's not a big deal though since I would rather have girls asking for my number to hangout instead of guys. Obviously since I can relate to girls more.</p>

<p>Then a few nights ago I was talking to one of my male classmates. He's a very social person. He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie in his dorm. I said yes since I figured I wasn't going to do anything else during the night anyways. May as well attempt to be more social right? So I went to his room, we watched a movie, talked for a few hours. And then he leans in and kisses me and tries to hook up with me. I rejected him and he said it was fine since he didn't want to pressure me. But then he asked me why I came to his room if I didn't want to hook up. I told him I came obviously because he invited me to watch a movie. How was I supposed to know "movie" was code for "hook up"? I guess you can say he's a bit of a
d-bag. Or maybe I'm just naive. Plus I have a boyfriend and this guy totally knew I did. Yet he still made a move. </p>

<p>Then last night my other class mate asked me if I wanted to hangout and watch a movie. I was hesitant to say yes since what happened with the other guy. But I ended up going. We had a nice time. Thankfully he didn't try to feel me up. But then he put his arm around me. :( I was having fun until he did that. I don't get why only guys want to hangout with me! It's so frustrating! It wouldn't be as frustrating if they were not looking for more than friendship. But most of the guys who have asked for my number or to hangout are looking for something more. Maybe I'm just not someone girls want to be friends with? I don't know. Then to make things a tiny bit awkward, last night this guy asked me if I have any other friends except for the one who he always sees me with. That was a bit embarrassing since she pretty much is the only person I hangout with. I tried to cover it up as best I could so i wouldn't seem like a friendless person. </p>

<p>Have you told your boyfriend what happened? He deserves to know </p>

<p>Yes I did. But thats another story for later…</p>

<p>You should start joining clubs and stop accepting invitations from guys. And hope your relationship is alright </p>

<p>I think the OP was looking for more help on her friend situation, not necessarily her relationship issues. In my opinion, what happened was not your fault as you were not initiating contact and you went on what you assumed was a friendly outing. You could try going out more in groups (tagging along when your friend goes to meet other groups) or joining a organizations (such as an outdoors/hiking club perhaps) that has group outings. And there is nothing wrong with getting along better with members of your own gender if that is what you are comfortable with. Perhaps take the initiative and ask one of the girls if they’d like to go see a movie, hang out, or do something fun with.</p>

<p>On another note, is it clear that you are in a relationship or a way you can make it more visible to others? Perhaps updating it on social media or carrying a gift from your significant other would ward off those who are interested only in hooking up or getting your number for those purposes</p>

<p>There is this girl who is in one of my classes. I tried talking to her but she seems more of an introvert than I am. While I tried to make a conversation with her I just felt like I was annoying her. Which kinda lowered my confidence. </p>

<p>I guess my relationship status isn’t very clear. My boyfriend doesn’t go to this school. Since he visits a few times a week my floormates see him all the time here but not many other people do.</p>

<p>Have you tried inviting other girls to do something outside of class/the dorm/a club? Meeting people and having small talk is great, but it takes spending time together to become friends.</p>

<p>

This. </p>

<p>If a guy invites you to watch a movie in his dorm/apartment, that’s them inviting you to hook up–especially if it’s just you and them.</p>

<p>I know. I won’t accept invites from guys anymore unless its a group of people.</p>

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<p>It would be exceptionally rare that any straight guy would want to hang out with you alone in his dorm and watch a movie, only to be casual friends. </p>

<p>Just remember…</p>

<p>Rule #1: If a guy wants to hang out with you alone, always assume said guy wants to hook up… always.
Rule #2: Re-read rule #1 about 10 times!</p>

<p>^^^ Yeah I get that now! I guess I was being stupid. </p>

<p>If I were you, I would straight up tell the second guy that you aren’t interested in him in that way, and that if he still wants then you two could be friends. If he understands, and doesn’t try anything, I think he’s worth giving a shot as a friend. You said you had a nice time with him so I wouldn’t discount him just for the arm around the shoulder thing honestly.</p>

<p>IMO, it’s very tricky being friends with single guys if you’re already in a relationship. The reality is, most guys want more than just friendship, and quite honestly, if we want to hang out with you alone, it’s because we have “intentions” at some point in time of being more than just friends.</p>

<p>And there’s nothing necessarily wrong with any of this either… if you are willing to accept what might happen. If you are loyal to your BF, your best bet is not to be friends with single guys, or be friends only in group settings. That will help to extinguish any tension.</p>