<p>My english teacher gave us a day in class to start working on our personal statements while we waited for some additional copies of books to arrive.</p>
<p>I started to write my essay about how I was almost suspended from middle school and then turned my social life around with community service and how being a volunteer at a nonprofit recreation center has changed me, but I'm starting to think it seems a bit contrived.</p>
<p>Now, I'm starting to think of what my backup topic would be. I am a fairly strong essayist, and I think I want to utilize the 'Topic of your Choice' option.</p>
<p>I want to write an essay about college admissions. I want to talk about people who have their hopes and dreams crushed in a single letter or email. I want to discuss just how much power the college admissions officer has over 2/3rds of America - parents so desperate for their kids to get into a 'good school' that they create 529s YEARS before their kids are born, enter them into prestigious PRESCHOOLS, and allow their kids to try dozens of different activities. And it's clearly not just the parents. The students themselves are masochistic shells, especially those on college confidential. We work so hard for achievement and recognition only to be shot down because of one mistake or slip-up. I want to lay the college admissions system, as I see it, bare.</p>
<p>Now, my (hypocritical) question is, would the reader, seeing it from an officer's point of view, see this essay as a critique/analysis of the entire system and laud me for it, or would they likely take my paper as an offensive rant and toss out my entire application?</p>
<p>Thoughts, comments, questions?</p>
<p>Honestly, I think what you’ve just described is pretty self evident. I think you should write a essay that focuses and reflects more on yourself because I’m sure a lot of people share your view. Believe it or not, a lot of people write about college admissions in their college admissions essay.</p>
<p>As eccanuck said, a lot of people write about college admissions in their essays. College adcoms generally don’t like them either. Your first essay might be a bit contrived, but you can probably make it work. The part about your social life would add a nice touch.</p>
<p>As a side note, the reason good colleges are good is because good students want to be there. Colleges obviously want admit the most qualified students and people who will add flair to their schools, so it’s not their fault admissions are so competitive.</p>
<p>Your new topic is definitely a bad idea. The term “essay” is a misnomer. “Personal Statement” is the correct one.</p>
<p>There is only one subject for the personal statement: YOU. The term “topic” is also a misnomer. “Topic” is actually just a backdrop for the “real” topic: YOU.</p>
<p>That said, the main purpose of an essay is to make the college want you. That means they must like you. Many people make the mistake of using the personal statement to brag - that’s a real no-no. That does not make you likeable. Others explain things (usually not good things) about themselves. Also does not make you attractive to a college. </p>
<p>And another common mistake is the one you are about to make: complaining about something. This is also a turn-off, no matter how well-written the composition is.</p>
<p>Yes, your original idea is a bit contrived, but it has the right idea: You were faced with a challenge that you overcame to become a better, stronger person. Written well, showing that and not just telling that, will be a much better approach.</p>