<p>D is a sophomore in college. This past year, she's been experiencing a ton of stress and anxiety with tests/finals. She's always been a good test taker and fairly level headed about this while she was in high school. First semester of college was ok too - she realized she had to work much much harder, but it was all do-able and she was able to do well. Everything seemed to go wrong last semester and since then, she panics at every test/exam. She's very stressed out, very anxious and I believe this has led to her not doing as well as she could.</p>
<p>Finals are on today and tomorrow. Crossing my fingers that she can work through these next couple of days ok. But she has also realized she need some strategies, some ways to work out of this stressed mode.</p>
<p>Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Strategies that have worked for you or your children?</p>
<p>A written study schedule, with breaks, food,leisure, and exercise (even if it’s just a walk up and down stairs or outside). It can be a concrete display of “I am doing enough” plus it forces her to eat, sleep, and rest her brain and those things are important in stress relief. Also, emphasis on education as a process/journey, not as a series of grades. A list of the concepts she needs to cover, and she can cross them off as she finishes those (I am a big list person, ymmv) But above all, exercise, preferably outside. It does wonders for stress, and it doesn’t have to be aerobics for 45 minutes, either.
Study with another person if it helps, or not if it doesn’t. Send her bright index cards to use, or new headphones/earbuds as a gesture of support. Don’t call and ask how it’s going. Send her favorite foods.</p>
<p>She can see a therapist who is good with these things (possibly on campus). If it is a persistent issue, she can register with the disabilities office or, at some schools, get accommodations through her therapist or an MD and a dean. This could mean a make-up, extra time, exam in a room alone, that kind of thing.</p>
<p>Medications can help but trying exercise, rest, and talking about the real purpose of learning versus grades are good suggestions from others. Changing study habits can help: I know I used to go to the movies the night before a big exam.</p>
<p>There are alternative approaches: check into EFR/tapping, yoga/meditation/self-hypnosis, and so on. Self hypnosis can be very helpful. Also, herb teas like valerian (be careful of the herbs in straight form, which can be as potent as meds).</p>
<p>I actually think that a little magical thinking can help. So if you tell her that valerian tea or lavender essential oil will help, it actually may help. Or anything else. </p>
<p>Is it possible to take more classes with papers versus exams?</p>
<p>Thanks for the ideas. I am a big list person myself and so is she. She was hyperventilating about finals last week - she sat down, wrote herself a schedule/list of tasks and then she felt way better about everything. But when it came down to the last two days, she was freaking out again!</p>
<p>She was always very involved in sports - a 3-sport athlete and never had to worry about getting enough exercise. But she quit her sport this semester - she says she has been out running, but am wondering if that could be one of the answers. More exercise. And I definitely like the idea of magical thinking…only problem is that she doesn’t drink tea or coffee :)</p>
<p>One of the things that helped my daughter was yoga. I couldn’t convince her to go to a yoga class so I hired a private instructor which proved to be ideal. The lessons focused on breathing which can really help with the hyperventilating. The instructor was also able to give her other practical strategies to help her deal with stress. </p>
<p>This may not be practical to do for her upcoming finals, but maybe something to think about once she is on her break.</p>
<p>I know it’s hard to see your child suffer like this. Good luck to her and to you.</p>
<p>Well, are you talking test anxiety specifically or anxiety in general? One is a disability, one is not. One gets accommodations, as determined by the campus disability officer, one does not. Students with either, however, can see benefits from meeting with a campus counselor. These people really are experts when it comes to this area. LOTS of kids suffer from text anxiety. The campus counselor is likely to have great strategies for calming down and staying focused during exams. He or she is also a good person to determine if the anxiety extends beyond test anxiety and into something that should be treated with medication. </p>
<p>In our office, we see lots of students (albeit mostly freshmen) who are crippled by what they are calling text anxiety. Greenbuttons suggestions are spot on and pretty close to what we reccommend for our students. By sticking to their schedule, many students will find they are studying not just better but a lot more, which helps a great deal. We also find, when we ask students to bring in their notes and study aids so we can analyze them, that they do not know the material as well as they believe they do. They learn to the point of recognition, rather than to the point of recall. If you can make one suggestion about studying, suggest your D quiz herself. If she has to peek at the answers, she doesn’t know the material well enough. This is an eye opener for a lot of kids, too.</p>
<p>Then, as soon as the semester starts in the spring, please encourage her to go to campus services and start working with someone. Anxiety feels terrible, and your D deserves to feel better.</p>
<p>Someone on cc recommended that students should read this book. So I bought and read it figuring I should before asking my S to. </p>
<p>While the title is sounds like it is for super high achievers, Cal Newport lays out strategies for students to follow to spread out the material and prepare for tests so that one feels they have studied adequately. You could probably check it out from your library if you want. The book is only about 200 pages.</p>
<p>Hugs to you and your daughter. We, as parents, suffer right along with our kids and being away from them makes it even more difficult. </p>
<p>A friend’s son experienced something very similar and he also went to the counseling center to talk with someone. He was especially bothered by the physical symptoms (palpitating heart and the resulting feeling from that) which only made the anxiety worse as he was then concerned something was physically wrong - a vicious cycle. Interestingly, he was also a high school athlete and had completely stopped exercising in college and had actually gained a fair amount of weight. In retrospect, his mom thinks he was probably always an anxious-type kid but was so physically active that it kept it at bay. </p>
<p>The counselor gave him techniques/tools on how to deal with the issue, but also (importantly) reassured him he wasn’t the only kid feeling that way and explained what his body was doing physically (the fight or flight response) so he then understood on an intellectual level how he felt, which helped ease that concern.</p>
<p>I think you said she would be done on the 12th - how is she? Hopefully, she made it through o.k! Best of luck.</p>
<p>Just to add to above, read about EFD and have her read it too. Even when we do not have that condition, just reading about it and how people with EFD deal with things makes us see and do things in different and more educated way. It changes our perspective and also helps us realise that we are not alone and that there are people struggling with severe issues and have learnt to deal/cope with them and do really well in life.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your suggestions, responses - and also to those who sent me PMs on this. Very much appreciated.</p>
<p>D primarily gets anxious with tests. She seems to be ok otherwise. The change in her tone/voice as soon as the tests were over was remarkable. She is a bit worried about what the results will be - but nothing compared to the couple of days before the tests. She did mention to me that she wants to talk to someone on campus about this anxiety - I will urge her to do that next semester while also mentioning some of these other suggestions. I tend to get stressed myself too and I can see the pattern sort of repeating with her :(</p>
<p>Oh - one of the tests that she stressed out so much about? She got a 100% on the final. Sometimes, I feel like she doesn’t know how to judge how she’s done on a test at all …</p>
<p>How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less: Cal Newport: 9780767922715: Amazon.com: Books</p>
<p>It shows students how to manage their time effectively so that they can do their studying in the least amount of time so that they can do what is really important in college…socializing.</p>
<p>‘Pet therapy’ is used at Boston College and appears to be quite beneficial for those suffering from exam stress.</p>
<p>It involves spending time with pets, like dogs, cats, rabbits, whatever animal one is comfortable with. It allows the student to relax with a pet – whose experience with exams, by the way, is totally unknown! </p>
<p>I am partial to dogs and feel they would be wonderful in that regard, but other animals could help too. Animals (especially dogs) have been shown to be excellent with th elderly, helping them to cope with the challenges of old age. Why not utilize them to help exam-burdened students too?!</p>
<p>I am going to have to check out that book - hopefully, our library has it.</p>
<p>leanid - she loves animals, especially dogs. They did have a “de-stresser” event at her school where they get together with dogs, pet dogs for an hour or so. Turned out that the event was after all her finals But she did go anyway…</p>
<p>She’s getting her scores back from the finals slowly and is figuring out she didn’t do as bad as she had thought after all! Thus far, all scores that have come back have been As. Hopefully, this helps with her confidence level and serves to reduce some of the stress.</p>
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