<p>Wow Periwinkle, you are an encyclopedia of all things BS. :)</p>
<p>Okay, I get that high school, BS, is stressful but can any BS students give examples of a typical night’s homework for some daily specific stresses they have and how your stress is different for not different from your stress before coming to BS?</p>
<p>PS and BS can be both stressful. Academically rigorous PS and BS are more stressful than their less rigorous counterparts. That said, expect a “harder” life in BS than in PS. The courses in top BS are more demanding than courses of the same level in PS (maybe not ones in magnet schools but I don’t know much about magnet schools). You can get a 5 on an AP exam but it’s a lot harder to get an A in the AP course from a top BS than from PS. Another factor that makes your life harder is that you are on your own taking care of a lot of things. The school support system works but it’s not and it’s not supposed to be like your parents, who are constantly there helping you out before you even know it :). BS asks more initiative, energy and work from you.</p>
<p>As others have stated, high achieving high schools students feel stress whether in PS or BS. My nieces and nephews in PS who are taking AP classes and are towards the top of the class in strong publics feel a lot of pressure just like my BS kids. I agree that much of the pressure comes from competing with peers. Many boarding schools try to minimize this by not calculating GPAs nor having a class rank. </p>
<p>Bluegene’s post is insightful and spot-on from my own observations. Very few of us have the same perspective of having a child in public school and private school at the same time. </p>
<p>Periwinkle - thanks for pointing out the interesting articles.</p>
<p>studen: you might get a quicker response to your question if you asked it under one of the threads headed by students–like the ask an Exeter student.</p>
<p>Sons roommate has withdrawn from school this week may not return. Academic pressures, summer cram schools, parental expectations for perfection and the impending military requirement for his country have all led to a major, clinical meltdown last week Its sad to know because I really love this kid. Its important to remember that as much as we demand excellence from our children in their pursuits, they are human beings, not robots.</p>
<p>Read the Overachievers Secret Life Of Driven Kids book three years ago and it was very telling. I actually changed my parenting style as a result as I never wanted to be like AP Franks mom. She was a nut!</p>
<p>Nylecoj007: Those cram schools and the cultures that obssess on kids being perfect is sickening. In the book “The Overachievers Secret Life Of Driven Kids”, there is a character in the book called AP Frank that highlights a sickening parent that almost ruined her kid with her unrelenting pressure on him.</p>
<p>The thing about college and drivenness, it doesn’t only come from parents. You would be surprised how many kids are too hard on THEMSELVES. I think the book about overachievers is interesting and I might check that out. I think there is healthy drivenness, although it might not seem healthy. You can be driven, but not live up to YOUR exceptions, and thats when kids begin to crash. All the people who go/are applying to BS are obviously driven kids. With drive comes hard work and loads of stress. So, I’m hoping this stops the general stress topic discussions and refocuses this thread on BS homework, hardness of tests, BS work compared to normal school work, and most importantly was it worth for YOU to go to BS. Do you regret it now that you have seen the amount of work and caliber of students?
P.S.
Where is the BS students board? I want some responses from students.</p>
<p>Here at Exeter students can have anywhere from 2 hours of homework to 5. It sounds like a lot but you NEED to manage your time and get help as much as you can, there is no other way to do it.</p>
<p>Putting aside the basic fact that most kids who attend any of the top boarding schools tend to be an ambitious, hard-working group, there is, like TP said, a value in learning balance, a value in being able to govern yourself so that you maintain general health and happiness. Your whole life may seem like too large a context to consider when you’re only 15, but remember that you’re building habits to last a lifetime. One of those habits should be, IMO, the ability to say to yourself “this is too much, things are getting out of control, I’m miserable, I need some time for me.” </p>
<p>Everybody will have moments, weeks or even the occasional month when they kill themselves to achieve something great, but when that effort becomes a lifestyle and you begin compromising your core health and happiness, you’ve crossed a bad line. Most of us adults have colleagues we know who can’t turn it off and are, quite frankly, an unhappy bunch who are not fun to be around and whose lives are more defined by a big bank account than a happy family.</p>
<p>A short answer to your question on whether top BS is more stressful than PS is yes, generally it is. The stress level could vary for different individuals. For example, if you are from a very rigorous middle school, you will be able to handle the academics better than those from oridinary PS. If you are a day student, it’ll be easier for you than for the boarders… Is it worth it? Well, it’s in the eyes of the beholders. Ask yourself, if you don’t gain any advantage in college admission, which is debatable but the general consensus is that one shouldn’t expect a top BS will give him a better chance for an Ivy, is there anything else you expect from the BS experience? Would developing independence, abilities in making decisions, multi-tasking, interacting with adults, working with capable peers from different background etc. at such a young age be of particular value to you? </p>
<p>I could argue either way. On the one hand, “if it’s not broken, don’t try to fix it”. Your PS is fine. Stay there and spend the 4 years with your family and work hard. I don’t see you are losing anything by not going to a top BS (or while you’d gain some things, you’d be losing some other things, so it could be a washout). On the other hand, top BS’s are for some of those that are particularly ambitous and driven. It does carry risks, but as long as you keep trying and never give up, you will come out of it as an individual much more mature, better prepared and better positioned for challenges in life. </p>
<p>Think this way: For those that have viable day school or PS options, going to a top BS, you are paying the dues early, and you will reap the benifits (and I am not talking about a better college) in the future. However, if you are capable and motivated, you can do the same deeds in college. After all, that’s a path for most people including most who have great achievements later in their lives.</p>
<p>My school isn’t “broken”. Its a good school in a good district known for good education. Although, I fail to see how the academics at my school are any more stellar than those in an “average” ranked school. The reason for me wanting to go to BS is so I can enjoy school again. I don’t get excited about going to school. I want school to be enjoyable, not in the “I’m going to party/hang out with friends all day” but I want to be excited about learning again. It sounds cliche, but in the 4 years I’ve been at my school I’ve only had one teacher and one class that I enjoyed and gained a lot from. I also want teachers who have achieved more in their life and have greater intellectual capability because I want to be taught by the best. Top boarding schools have some of the most enthusiastic and well-educated teachers out there. My teachers come to school because they have to and don’t give me any ideas that I couldn’t have gotten from a textbook from some random place. I want to be able to think on a higher level and I think being taught by the teachers at the BS schools I’m applying to will allow me to do so. I’m not trying to say I’m to good for my school, but I just want to experience all that boarding school has to offer, including the stress. I would rather have a lot of stress in high school and then be well-adjusted to college stress, than not have that much stress and then not be well-adjusted to college stress. (I’ve heard BS kids adjust well to stress in college because of BS)
On a side note, 2-5 hours of homework seems reasonable to me.</p>
<p>i just feel like you. my school is good, so do teachers, but the problem is the way they are supposed to teach - and they do this. class is not interesting with 40 tired and desmotivaded students. i have about 4 hours of lame homework everyday and won’t mind of having more if it was in a good school.</p>
<p>I’m with you studen and Brazilian. There’s nothing wrong with either stress or hard work, as long as what you’re doing has real meaning and purpose. It’s pointless work that drags on the soul…</p>
<p>Very good. It sounds like you two are wanting BS for the right reasons. Go get it, and never look back!</p>
<p>Just another less often heard viewpoint–teachers at BS are generally of high quality but it don’t over inflate. It’s not all amazing-- All top BS high several young teachers every year–who are right out of college and they are variable in quality. In addition, more seasoned teachers are, like any school, all over the map. There are ogres, there are has-beens, there are wonderful teachers, but by and large, they are very busy and have their patterns and routines and it is hit or miss whether they resonate or inspire individual students. At every school there are also some dreaded teachers. Dont’ expect BS to be a magic bullet for anything.</p>
<p>^^Agreed! Although in general the teachers at top BS are supposed to be a lot better than PS, they are not equally good and helpful. At the individual level, one could have excellent teachers in PS while in BS happen to have an unproportional share of not so great teachers out of bad luck. The economic downturn is not only affecting PS. It’s affecting BS as well. There is a possibility that fewer experienced teachers are being hired and more young teachers or teaching fellows are teaching major courses. It’s important that you have realistic expectations. And do express your concerns to the school administration if you have any. In the long run, the school may listen and improve.</p>
<p>The posts above match my son’s limited experience so far with bs teachers…by and large though, the classes are all much more rigorous and interesting than anything he had in ps. Good teachers in ps are often saddled with students who don’t care, outdated books, curricula and government mandates that restrict what and how they teach. And a class is more than just a teacher…subject matter, class size, course offerings, texts, peers are all a crucial part of the mix.</p>
<p>Pressure is relative. I think Andover, Exeter, etc by way of their outsized reputations tend to attract many people who enter with unrealistic expectations and who then focus more on “getting into college” rather than integrating into the campus flow.</p>
<p>I often tell people if you get through Boarding School (almost any of the top - say 50), college will be easier because the stress, pace and flow of academic work is very similar. Once you’ve pulled an “all nighter” at BS you learn to adjust time management. Having weekends “off” is not really the same as “homework free” for instance. </p>
<p>Also, all students admitted are top students. Hence the pace is harder than a school where there is a range. Not every student will be on top in every class.</p>
<p>Knowing how to ask for help, learning to “teach” yourself outside of the class, and not being devastated over a “less than A” grade will help with transition.</p>
<p>But also not thinking that HADES is the be all and end all of schools will also be helpful. Fit is key. </p>
<p>But having said that - I do think that HADES schools do pile it on to maintain their reputation, tend to attract a certain “type” of student, and are a bit less “nurturing.” So reports from students I know attending now is that “yes” the stress is huge, but also “yes” the workload is manageable with adjustments and still allowing time for extracurriculars, sports and sleep. :-)</p>
<p>BTW- nice post, Periwinkle, on Migraines. Very thorough. Sinus infections (even minor ones) make the barometric problem worse, so a sinus rinse once or twice a week in the shower is a nice supplement to equalize the pressure problems.</p>