<p>Hooray! Our PCs are finally communicating, but watch what you wish for!! Ever since my son was been on email most of his messages are about stress and it's making me stressed!! I keep in mind that he's overly conscientious and likes to vent with me, but whoa....the academics kicked in hard and fast. I'm okay with it all and expected it, but what he said to me last night bothered me. In response to his plea of stress, my advice was to network with classmates, work together, study groups, etc. He responded that they couldn't do that because it would be viewed as "cheating". Is this just my overly conscientious kid or is this true?</p>
<p>He may want to talk to a M/N or his CTO about cheating. My s has set up study groups for physics and calc - yes he does his homework and assignments individually but in preparation for exams and such I think study groups are ok; certainly if he does not understand how to work types of probblems he can get tutoring (it think is is through ACE) and meet with his professors. My s has stated there are plenty of resources as long as you demonstrate that you are doing the work you can get help. Probably need a M/N to jump in here</p>
<p>MMAMom2011: I know there are study groups, etc. that he can get into. KP is great about support for the academics. As tmr said, need a mid to jump in here, but I do know that help is available that is not cheating. The important thing is to take advantage of that help so he doesn't fall behind if he has problems with the material.</p>
<p>You will get plenty of e-mails and phone calls that leave you feeling stressed, and after a while you might get used to it. Just be his sounding board. Lots of times my s would go off on me or my husband, then we'd be nuts, but then my s was fine since it helped that he could vent to us. It's all part of the experience at KP, the rollercoaster ride everybody talks about.</p>
<p>I know what you mean. My daughter loves to vent and the next time I talk to her, she's over it, but I've been stressing ever since she vented to me. I guess we have to listen, sympathize and let it go out the other ear! Or we'll be getting ulcers and they'll be having a grand old time laughing at us!</p>
<p>I don't know where he go the idea of "cheating" - maybe in regards to the PKT's? But with regular academics they are encouraged to get tutoring if needed, set up study groups, etc. My daughter just got the "job" of RAO PO (Regimental Academics Petty Officer?) and that's what she says she'll be doing - assisting the kids to succeed academically. And last year (her plebe year) I know she even set up a study group to help a couple of her friends with Calc.</p>
<p>So if he really needs help, it's there for the asking. Don't worry, he'll be fine. I think they also get less stressed out as they make some good friends.</p>
<p>Crisis averted.... for now! Thanks all for the good info and sound advice. You are so very right! After I posted the above, I got a much, much better email wherein he made it through the day, his spirits were up, no problems, etc. I'm thinking....IS THIS THE SAME KID AS LAST NIGHT? Geez Louise! (granted he did an all-nighter, but that happens at all colleges!) Now.... trying to come up with coping strategies for me.... Perhaps I should open his emails 3 days after they are sent so that I get the resolution at the same time as a problem? LOL! This board is so terrific... It also put me in touch with a M/N who is going to talk to him hopefully. I guess he needs to know the fine line between cheating and sharing. This rollercoaster ride is doing a number on my hair...it's not only standing up, it's turning whiter by the minute! Thank you again...</p>
<p>u r ok
he is ok</p>
<p>Had same impression MMAMom. My son seemed stressed to me too, even though he claims he wasn't. Started football and said it was hard. But found it difficult to go back to regiment after football practice. I guess you just want to chill for a while and couldn't. I was getting CAP letters in his messages so I just backed off and said bye. Also is everyone elses kid asking for a ton of stuff to be sent. Every time I think he's settled he keeps giving me another list. He's taking me broke.</p>
<p>At 9pm last night I got a quick IM that said, "hey I can't talk I have a butt load of homework". I just said, "ok I will remember you in my prayers and I love you". Signed off and that was it. I think giving them time, and them not feeling guilty about communicating with us daily might be one of the best gifts we can give them.</p>
<p>I emailed a list of seven things he might want now that he has started on the waterfront, his email reply was "all but the last two". Let me say few emails are even answered. </p>
<p>He seems really stressed but with two others in college, the positive is being this busy keeps them from being homesick. I am still sending encouraging cards and when I talked with him last, I reminded him to remember why he wanted to go there in the first place. That seemed to make him smile and give him alittle renewed energy.</p>
<p>Everybody (and I mean EVERYBODY) here works in groups. Just wait until finals week. . . Everyone is divided up into class sections (all members are the same major) and they all have classes together. I'm an MOT major and my section of 12 has all been together since 2nd tri, Plebe year and we'll be together until we graduate. You really get to pick up on everyone's study habits and make your best friends too. Nobody can get through this place alone, and no, working together is not considered cheating. Plagiarizing or copying is one thing, but group work or study is something else. The mids that try to isolate themselves are the ones that end up failing out.</p>
<p>STRESS? Yes, MINE. Of having become a personal shopper, SupermansMom! When did THAT happen?!? :confused:</p>
<p>So, my last email contained:
----- I'll get the stuff you asked for, this time.
----- Next, check the ship's store, and see what is NOT there.
----- Stuff you can get, do.
----- Stuff you can't get there or online, let me know. </p>
<p>And USPS boxes/shipping at just under $10 each PLUS what he wants INSIDE... This is turning into an expensive activity.</p>
<p>So, sorry son. Santa's elves are hanging up their spurs! (A horrible mixed metaphor, but I think the point is made.)
I QUIT. Well, after this next box, and a few more little items. (Oh dear).</p>
<p>I just told my husband this morning that the box I sent today was the LAST one!!! Seems like all our precious PCs have wishlists....makes me feel soooooooooo much better that I'm not the only one burning up the road to the UPS store! LOL</p>
<p>LOL - I was (am?) so neurotic that I was overnighting packages!$!$!$! I've scaled down to just weekly priority boxes and occasional hand deliveries (6 hour round-trip). The postman smirks when he sees me, "And what is it today?" which opens the floodgates for me to give him the latest update. Poor guy's always sorry he asked. He definitely thinks I'm obsessive, but hey, I'm in good company.....</p>
<p>stress? what's stress? psh... i have never heard of such a thing...
only not... don't worry, it's only the start.</p>
<p>cleary everyone has these feelings
of wanting to send leters cards stuff etc</p>
<p>these kids have had your full support for 18 years and
now in their time of quick growth and advancement
we want to be there for them</p>
<p>i did it too</p>
<p>the tearful letters pouring pride and encouragement etc
the boxes of powerbars
the deck shoes
etc</p>
<p>but the flood of emotion has slowwed to a trickle now
a happy tear now and then</p>
<p>at the risk
no the guarantee
of being cast a stereotypical dad</p>
<p>"dont worry, theyll be fine"</p>
<p>The man at the post office is on a "first name basis" with my husband now. Everytime he walks in, John at PO asks, "How's your son? This box going up to zip 11024???"</p>
<p>We have sent the fan, the desk lamp, the clock, the sailing vest and jacket...and the power bars and power drink mix. And, smaller size undershirts because the size L undershirts extend past the uniform sleeves. And, the Chlorox II becuase he washed white and dark socks together and white socks look 'brown." And, today, when son said he had to go do his "quota of floor buffing," I asked if he needed any additional cleaning supplies/equipment.</p>
<p>Imagine my relief when he answered, "Mom, whatever else I need, I WILL BUY IT MYSELF IN SCHOOL STORE!"</p>
<p>In one week my orders were:</p>
<p>Air purifier, power bars, protein powder, shaker, swifter floor and furniture, timex watch, pillow, gatorade powder, stamps, pens, mouse, power surge, drawer organizers (for what he can't tell me, but he needs them), compression shorts for football and underarmour gurdle, and an external hard drive (which hopefully I can hold him off untill xmas). I think I'll skip AIM tonight since the list will only get longer. Boy what happen to "free college". But I guess I shouldn't complain since if he didn't get into USMMA he was going to college for $50,000/year. My husband says send him anything he wants. LOL. Thank goodness Target is close by. </p>
<p>I'm glad I'm not the only one getting cut off after the orders with "too much homework have to go." I was starting to get a complex.</p>
<p>if your son doesn't already own an external, you're fine to hold off for a while. they have new computers, and not a ton of data on them yet, thus they are less likely to crash. by the end of plebe year they will start to need one. with more files, aging computers, and sea year around the corner, it's good to back up EVERYTHING on the external. so while it's a great idea, you should be able to hold him off.
the truth is, while this place is typically overwhemingly stressful, especially plebe year, it shows who can hack it, and who can't. some will not be able to push through and will go home. it's sad, but it's the nature of the beast. on the other hand, those that push though and make it can find a way to handle anything you throw at them. even if they don't handle it correctly all the time, they can process what's going on, and act accordingly. we make mistakes, and we learn.
bottom line, although i don't like this much stress anymore than anyone else here, i know the ability to handle said stress only comes from trial by fire, and that is a big thing that sets us apart.</p>
<p>a little taste of
"the wilderness"</p>
<p>ripening</p>
<p>honing</p>
<p>cleansing</p>
<p>then eventually</p>
<p>polishing</p>
<p>their ok / your ok</p>
<p>Thanks is2day4him. Now I will definitely wait and gift the hard drive for xmas. I think my son just likes to receive packages in the mail. He wants to make sure we're not forgetting about him.</p>
<p>Packages aside, I'm spending a small fortune on Hallmark cards. Think I've bought ever musical one there is (requires extra postage to boot!) Not only does he get cards from me and my husband, but also the dog and cat. I'm plebed out....</p>