^^^ agreed - and pretty much every other college in our state.
The law not allowing parental control at home or for consumption in recognized religious ceremonies is dumb - plain and simple. Plenty of residents ignore it. We’re not the only ones who did, but like all other ignored laws 'tis best if it’s done quietly - or perhaps go to a college campus for it.
Wow, @Creekland , that’s just crazy. I’m surprised a bunch of devout Jews, who want to celebrate Shabbat at home, or devout Christians celebrating Communion with their house church haven’t sued for religious discrimination.
@Massmomm My guess is they just do what we did and ignore dumb laws. If someone else wanted to press the issue, then a court case might come up. As ucbalumnus pointed out, the state could go after oodles of college frats (and students in general) if they wanted to.
I know high school kids who get caught partying get charged. If charged they get kicked off sports teams and similar. Even then though, I’m not sure how many warnings are issued vs charges. I don’t get too involved with that stuff TBH. I just hear what goes around school when it happens.
It’s a myth. Not all kids of strict parents run wild and not all kids of parents who are permissive turn out fine. The kids personality means the most. Some are prone to excess and some are prone to addiction.
The best we can do as parents is talk about everything and tell them our perspective. Tell them anecdotes and true tales can help. There are so many things which happened when I was a kid/teen that my kids will wonder how I survived. But I did and I’m pretty cautious. Guess that happens when you’ve seen a lot.
Rebellion is a stage of growing up. Kids need to develop their own identity. They need to become independent and make their own mistakes. That being said, it is our job as parents to provide boundaries and consequences. And, more than anything, every child is different, as parents we need to acknowledge that and realize that different boundaries for different kids is okay. Let the adolescent determine the route.
Also important to note that college freshman drinking isn’t just about rebellion or wanting to fit in. It is also about stress, anxiety and fear of failure.
Lots of freshman are overwhelmed with a new level of academic difficulty and coping with all the freedom and choices they suddenly have. Drinking lets them de-stress at least for a bit. For some kids that time of letting go becomes a crutch that leads to serious problems.
So in your list of things to do before your kid leaves for college to prevent them going overboard with the partying, I recommend a discussion of stress release tactics and being up front about the pros and cons of alcohol for this purpose.
Unless the law has recently changed, the restrictions on underage drinking does not apply to religious ceremonies in one’s own home. For example, the Pennsylvania restriction also provides for the following exception:
“An exception to the prosecution is made for those
found to have furnished wine to a minor under the age of 21 years, which is part
of a religious service or ceremony, which may be conducted in a private home or
place of worship where the amount of wine served does not exceed the amount
reasonably, customarily, and traditionally required as an integral part of the
service or ceremony.”
The federal law applies to purchase and to public consumption.
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/23/158
Private consumption, including for religious ceremonies or in one’s home under adult supervision, is regulated by state law, and varies by state.
I’m speaking of state laws. Every state law appears to provide an exception for religious use in a private home under the guidance and supervision of a parent. Sorry if that was not clear.
@3girls3cats As I said, it varies by state. But no, every state does not provide such an exception, although the vast majority do. An example of a state without that exception - NH:
https://drinkingage.procon.org/sourcefiles/NewHampshireUnderAgeAlcConsumpLaw.pdf
Intoxication is prohibited under the terms of the New Hampshire statute. Participating in a ritual that allows a miniscule amount of wine is not. It’s determined by the case law that fleshes out the statutory language. There may be a state out there that doesn’t permit this practice but I’d be surprised. Not shocked but surprised.
I’m not really interested in getting into a debate, but it is not allowed in NH
A 2016 bill to allow exceptions was shot down:
https://legiscan.com/NH/bill/HB1606/2016
Whether it’s enforced is a different story.