I’m a freshman girl at a medium LAC about an hour and 40 mins from home. Freshman year has not exactly been what I had hoped. I have a few friends, and am really close with my roommate, but I feel like I don’t have as many freshman friends as I had hoped and I don’t particularly like most of the girls I do things with, but I hang out with them just so I’m not alone. I wasn’t expecting to make a million close friends on day one, but I thought I would meet more people than I have. I think part of this is because my freshman dorm building isn’t with the other freshman dorm buildings (there is also another place freshman can live that is separated from the rest of freshman housing, but those are apartments), so I feel like I’m at a little bit of a disadvantage.
I also have been pretty homesick. My mom and I are ridiculously close (picture Gilmore Girls, but my mom didn’t have me at 16). I have come home for maybe 2 or 3 weekends (not including Thanksgiving), and that has helped, but it never feels long enough. I also was really lucky to have a few really incredible friends from high school, and I miss them a lot. My homesickness was awful in the beginning, but has gotten better. I do still cry when I’m leaving home to go back to school.
I have joined 2 clubs and play on a club team, talked to people in classes, met people when going out, but I just feel like I’ve clicked with very few people here. I have an on-campus job in an office which is nice because it keeps me busy, but I don’t work with other students.
I am literally counting down the days until winter break. It’s not like I hate school, I actually like a lot of things about it, but I just really miss having good friends that I genuinely liked being around and my family.
I guess I’m looking for some non-standard ways to meet people, if it’s normal that I still get so upset leaving home, and if/how it got better for any of you after first semester.
You have friends at college. That’s a very good thing. You’re a bit homesick, which is normal. You have joined clubs, etc… All good. I would, however, caution you about going home too often. It’s been proven that students who go home at the weekends have a more difficult time settling in. This is because while you’re away at the weekend, everyone who stayed on campus is busy getting to know each other. If you are perceived of as being gone every weekend (not saying that you are gone that often), people are not going to invest a lot of time getting to know someone who isn’t around for the fun times.
I am guessing that the majority of students don’t truly feel comfortable and settled with a group of people until spring. You just need to give things time, and keep doing what you are doing. You are on the right track.
It actually sounds like you are doing pretty well, all things considering. College is HARD for most people. It is stressful to learn all kinds of new things all at once and constantly have assignments, tests to study for, and papers to do. On top of that you are dealing with the stress of leaving home and building your own life and relationships. These are not things that just happen and they are done and over, black and white. Rather you are in a transition. Some days you are going to feel a rush of excitement about what you are doing, other days you are going to feel like you don’t want to get out of bed.
It’s okay to be homesick and miss your family. It’s a sign that you grew up in a loving home. Don’t wish all the feelings away, it’s just part of the process. You can still stay crazy close with your mother and family. Modern technology really helps with that.
Stay busy, do your best, keep putting yourself out there. Let this wonderful thing called life unfold. Be patient.
You’re doing fine. Feel good about that. I agree - stop going home so much. Maybe once between drop off and TG would have been enough.
I also have a theory that people who had a great high school experience (especially a good social one) have a harder time in college. They’ve left super close friends and building new relationships like that takes time so it feels more awkward without them in the beginning.
It’s all good - keep pressing on and doing what you are doing.
