I am a first year university student feeling VERY indecisive about what I want to do. I know that life isn’t linear and my interests will change, but it seems like everyone around me has an idea of what they want. I am an Environmental Studies/Biology combined major, and so far it has been really difficult. I have always loved learning about plants and animals, and my favorite high school class was AP Biology, so this major seemed like a good choice for me. However, I am also an artist. I have always loved drawing, painting, designing, and just being creative. I love coming up with ideas for art projects and planning them out, but I don’t think I should get a degree in art. My family is really supportive in my decision to pursue science and I don’t think they would take me seriously if I decided to pursue art instead. Yes, I know it is MY life and I choose what I want to do, but realistically, not while they’re the ones paying for my education. I just don’t know what to do, because I have been getting really bad grades on tests in my science classes (math and chemistry), even though I go to tutoring A LOT and have extended time for tests (I have testing anxiety). I seem to always get distracted, and I am not able to concentrate on studying for a long time. Another habit I have noticed is that I seem to be afraid of practicing chemistry or math because I know I don’t know enough information to do it on my own, and I am afraid to ask about most things, because I always think it’s too late to get help on material the professor had explained weeks before. My roommates are also pursuing science (medicine and astrophysics) and they’re supportive in my artistic and scientific endeavors, and they just SEEM like they have it all together. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I worry about the future a lot, and I am afraid of disappointing others (my family) and just being a failure. How do I stop worrying so that I am able to clear my mind and figure out what I really want?
What about scientific illustration? It requires a strong science background because you don’t represent things exactly as they are, but rather in a way that makes things clear, so you need to understand the science to know how to present what you’re drawing. (think of it as art and visual representation for the science crowd).