<p>Op,
I haven’t read all of your posts, but my impression is that you want to make him look at other colleges because he is so smart and underachieving. I think that you should <em>ahem</em> gently make him look at other schools, but not for the same reasons as yours. Some kids only want to eat chicken mcnuggets, which they like and which are comfortable, familiar, and predictable. With unusual, new foods, I force my kids to try one, solid true bite, and if they still don’t like the new food, then it’s ok to not eat it. I would approach the college visit in a similar fashion… There may be colleges out there that he doesn’t consider in a similar way that he might not consider a new or unusual food. But to want him to go to another school because he is a smart, lazy genius…well, I hate to be so frank, but this world is filled with lazy geniuses which does not impress me at all. The thing that matters more are persistence, grit, hard work, connections (but that’s a different topic). My viewpoint comes from knowing multiple lazy geniuses, including myself. Nowadays, I just prefer the term lazy.</p>
<p>tlcmom. Here’s a dad’s perspective. Use this as a teachable moment. Tell your son that the choice of college is his but nobody makes such an important decision without having information about his options. His first choice maybe the right one but he should still explore options. When I advise boards of directors or CEOs about decisions I always make sure they have considered their options. Their gut or first impression may often be right, but their decisoin will be more respected if they consider alternatives.</p>
<p>With your son this can be approached as a way to make sure he has made the right choice. IF Ole Miss is the right choice a visit to another school with only solidify his choice. You can say that the visits are to mollify you and ensure that his decision is the correct one. I also agree with the previous poster that recommended putting together a list of 10 schools and make your son select 3 to visit. Then once the visits are done, let your son choose.</p>
<p>FYI my son did something similar to yours. He was set on the first school he visited. We made him vsit several others. After all the trips he told us he was applying ED to the first one and told us why. We accepted his decision. Luckily he got into the school and now happlily attends it. The several visits helped him decide that the school was the right one for him adn helped my wife and I accept his decision as well thought out.</p>
<p>My S1 was a top student in his h.s. class with all the stats that go along with that. He decided in his junior year that he wanted to attend a big state u. (not the flagship) in our state. It was also DH’s alma mater so S1 grew up hearing about it. He wasn’t interested in anything else. We drug him to a visit at the flagship u. in a neighboring state that summer. DH and I liked the school but S1’s opinion didn’t budge. </p>
<p>Then in fall of senior year he received a NROTC scholarship. So he could have chosen from many schools nationwide with all tuition,books and fees paid. There was a smorgasbord of possibilities. S1 still didn’t budge.<br>
So we stopped trying to change his mind. </p>
<p>He ended up w/ a couple of merit scholarships from the univ. to stack onto his ROTC giving him a full ride. Some of his h.s. friends were also attending. He roomed w/ his best friend (also NROTC). He was three hours from home (but rarely came home).<br>
He had the time of his life. Yes, there was a lot of partying and he did more than his fair share but he graduated w/ honors and debt free and now has his dream job.<br>
Sometimes you just have to let them go with their gut. And if it doesn’t work out for some reason, it won’t be your fault.</p>
<p>Whoa! The kid is only a Jr?
Mom, you need to take a whole bunch of deep breathes and chill!
It is a loooooooong time till his college applications have to be submitted.
In the meanwhile, wait until this next summer, when you know what his scores and grades are. Then have the $$ talk with him about casting a wider net. By then his HS buddies will be the ones bringing up names of other colleges. And by the time his Sr year starts he will [ probably] be more open to considering applying elsewhere, as well as Ol Miss.</p>
<p>The OPs kid is ONLY a junior. At this point, I would let this go. Take him to some other colleges during his junior year. He could easily change his mind…or not. </p>
<p>Our daughter insisted she was applying to SMU only from the time she was 14 until the beginning of her senior year. It was THE only college she was interested in. We ignored her and planned some family vacations and took her to see a number of colleges. When the application time came, we asked her about SMU…and she replied “I’m NOT going to college in Texas.” and she didn’t apply.</p>
<p>This same kid applied EA to two safeties and rolling to one safety, she had those acceptances before Christmas, and attended one of those schools.</p>
<p>When my son was a junior, I definitely overstressed him with my college talk. I eventually realized he needed a breather. We agreed that we wouldn’t even use the word “college” until spring break, 5 months away. It worked. By then, he was willing to let me plan some tours, which we did over the break.</p>
<p>Thanks for so many responses and all the different perspectives! </p>
<p>As for he is ONLY a junior. Applications will need to be submitted in 1 year. That really is not a lot of time to look at schools, pick a few to visit, narrow down choices after ACT final scores and running net calculators to see what could work for us. Its a lot of work and a year is really not a lot of time. </p>
<p>I know I need to chill though - and although it’s not really my personality to do so - I am backing off. Not really backing off the process, but backing off my son. Right now the only thing I am going to talk to him about is ACT prep, summer leadership apps & essays and community service … college choices are off the table. Thanks for opening my eyes all this talk was really burning him out and shutting him down.</p>
<p>tlc, I’m turning down the college chatter to D who is also a junior. I had started early because last fall/winter (her sophomore year) she thought about early entrance into college. I told her if she was serious then she had to sign up for the ACT/SAT in June. If she had not considered early entrance, I imagine we would just be starting the whole process now with general college visits. Thankfully she realized she’s not ready for college yet but we (I’m guilty) found ourselves on the treadmill. After this second round of ACT/SAT in October and November, D probably won’t take any more until the spring. </p>
<p>About the immovable college choice, D also has an in state favorite from a visit last spring. That’s okay. She might change her mind, she might not. Some kids just choose their schools early and don’t budge. My niece and nephew picked their respective colleges by high school (ninth grade). They never changed their minds. They worked hard in high school to make sure they were contenders. Neither child had a Plan B school; I’m not sure they even visited other colleges. Both kids applied ED/EA and luckily were admitted. Both loved their time at their schools and never regretted their decision.</p>
<p>I agree. Some kids are pretty easy - they know what the want and are content. Some adults are that way also. The OP can certainly point out a college or two that the son might like but in the long run this just might be one of those one and done non-stressful situations. In the spring it’s fine to once again point out to the S that he has options but be prepared if he tells you that he’s fine with his decision. I do not see this as a “lazy” decision…its simply an “easy” decision.</p>
<p>Agree with the OP. He’s not “only” a junior. It’s reasonable that she would expect there to be SOME interest, some open-mindedness, regarding other schools.</p>
<p>This may not go over well, but have you thought about liberal arts colleges for him? If he is set on med school that might be a good way to encourage him to look at the longer term. LACs can be very nurturing for students who want to take that path. You could start by looking at Rhodes, Hendrix, Millsaps, Birmingham-Southern…schools you could drive to in a half day or less (I am assuming). If he brought his scores up a bit he might receive some nice merit aid.</p>
<p>^^
I could be wrong but LACs may not be his thing. A student that has his heart set on a SEC school probably wants that “full college experience” of academics and football. Ole Miss does tailgating like no other school. The Grove is amazing on game day…Tents with chandeliers hanging, people serving food/drinks with real dinnerware. lol </p>
<p>Probably it’s been his dream to go there. He probably has friends who’ll be going as well.</p>
<p>Ole Miss isn’t a huge state school. It’s rather medium-sized for a flagship. And, if he gets his stats up for the Honors College there, he’d be sitting good.</p>
<p>as for being premed, going to instate Ole Miss is actually a good idea. It has a very good med school, it only accepts instate kids, and if he does well at Ole Miss, his chances are quite good for admittance.</p>
<p>Sorry…but some kids just are NOT interested in college chatter fall of their junior year. They just aren’t. Many have not yet taken the SAT or ACT, and some schools don’t compute GPA until the middle or end of junior year. At this point, this student has very limited information in terms of college choices. Let it go.</p>
<p>But…visiting colleges? Yes, do that. We never went on a trip JUST to visit colleges with our daughter. Trips were family vacations and there happened to be colleges along the way. The first trip was summer after sophomore year. We took her to see a large university, a suburban smaller university, LAC, private, and public universities. We visited six schools while driving…in 10 days. She actually applied to ONE of those schools. Spring break of her junior year, we went to California. Lots of relatives to visit…and six colleges in close proximity. She applied to two of those. </p>
<p>Thank goodness her SAT scores supported her decision! But really, we had gone to a variety of schools with different levels of competitiveness for admissions.</p>
<p>Really a year is a lot of time. My oldest looked at his first college spring break junior year. (Though he claims through various summer programs he was familiar with a fair number of campuses which is true.)</p>
<p>Younger son I took him on one day trip in February junior year to see two colleges within two hours of our house. Then we saw two colleges in April combined with a visit to my brother in the Boston area. Then we saw three more in September combined to a visit to DC to see my sil. He visited the U of Penn in the summer when a friend dragged him along because she was interested. He applied to Chicago sight unseen.</p>
<p>but some kids just are NOT interested in college chatter fall of their junior year. They just aren’t.</p>
<p>Very true…especially of boys.</p>
<p>Thank goodness my Jr. DS is not alone in the “seriously, Mom…please, no more college talk” attitude. He is a compliant kid, key word being kid, and he is more interested in today, than the future. He’s on the young side (aug) and has no idea of where he sees himself in 2 weeks, let alone 2 years. I feel for him…but keep reminding him that his actions right now either help or hurt in the college admissions game. Sad, but brutally true.</p>
<p>My DS was influenced by a friend to consider a school that had a great program for his major. Based on his ACT, he was an auto-admit. With the Academic Common Market, we got in-state tuition. So it could be considered a “safety” all the way around. Once his choice of major was established, I began looking around to see what other schools offered it. I found several selective, expensive and distant options. I mentioned one of them to DS and he had no interest. I decided I must be crazy to introduce an element of risk when we had a sure thing!</p>
<p>But I still worried that he would decide he didn’t really want to go to this one school. So I e-mailed some of the info I had come across and noticed that a couple of these other schools starting coming up in his conversations. I also “made” him fill out a priority app for a local LAC and set up the visit. Now this is one of the schools that he is considering. However, I think that if he’d had to write an essay, get dressed up or drive longer than 20 minutes it would have been a deal breaker!</p>
<p>I am loving all of these responses! Seriously, they make me feel so much better! Thank you! Ole Miss is a great school and IF he can get into the honors college (which he rolled his eyes at when I mentioned it) that would be ideal. I know he doesn’t think past tomorrow but isnt that really my job if he is unwilling to do so? So for today it’s focus on raising ACT only. Maybe one day he will mention another college, maybe not. I had a few friends graduate from Millsaps, so I have looked there but with a campus of under 1000 he flat out refuses. </p>
<p>Ole Miss is … well it’s Ole Miss. Not much can really compare to its tradition and experience. I should be happy its not Mississippi State!! Ha just kidding!!! My daughter is going there for her junior and senior years and HOPEFULLY Vet school … her dream 
</p>
<p>Thanks yall I love this thread. I guess junior boys seem to be about the same all over the country!!! I only have 1 son, and no brothers, so this is all new to me :)</p>
<p>I have turned my attention to summer programs now … My son is getting ready to apply to the SEAP program and the MS Govenors School. I have also set up some meetings for my daughter to meet with cattle ranchers through the MS State extension program for a summer internship. I think it’s time I go back to work … at least part time lol</p>
<p>Since he is only a junior you have a lot of time. He will need to retake the ACT this spring- a 25 is mediocre. He needs to get better grades as well to get into the school he thinks is a safety as well. Many students with stats in the middle 50% will not get accepted to public schools because there are simply too many equally qualified students. The smartest kids will get above 30 without studying for the ACT (my gifted son had a 3). My stubborn kid would not apply to schools- couldn’t make him, either.</p>
<p>Your son’s stats are only average for most schools. Take him on a spring break trip (father/son only may be a good combination) to several schools you think may be good. He also has plenty of time over winter break to research schools. He also needs to pay attention to his grades this year as junior year is the most recent one seen by admissions committees.</p>
<p>A lot will happen over the next year. Right now he is in the middle of his HS years. Comfortable and not really looking at his future. Next fall will be the time to make sure he applys to schools.</p>
<p>His stats are above average for Ole Miss - not the Honors College obviously, but he has a 3.5 GPA and the average ACT is 21 from what I have read online. He will get into Ole Miss. There is no doubt there. I know many who have gotten in with much lower stats. He has all As and a B right now … the B is 2 points from an A. He is doing well. I expect his GPA to rise as well as his ACT since he has been preparing and scored a 30 last Saturday on the practice test. </p>
<p>The more I read this thread though, the less concerned I am with making sure he applies to a variety of schools. If he ends up wanting to, great! If not I think I will be ok with that too now.</p>