I have never asked our D how she felt about getting accepted to a T20, but not being able to afford it.
I imagine it’s a mixed bag. She did see 4? of her classmates matriculate to this school. She says she was the only one at her HS accepted who did not go.
I had adults in the peanut gallery encouraging us to borrow and make this opportunity happen for her. Uh, no.
It’s not very helpful when others are acting like an acceptance is a golden ticket to a wonderful successful life, and wah-wah, you are missing out because you “didn’t do things right” and cannot afford it.
It can be very painful & confusing for a young person.
We were lucky, and had all decisions by Xmas. NPCs were run again with care, spreadsheet filled out with estimated four year cost of attendence, and that band-aid was ripped off over Xmas break.
She had time to come to terms with her viable options. Nevertheless, she was not happy about it. She begrudgingly went to the full ride school, and she still seemed angry & disappointed in her circumstances.
But, as I said before, she is happy now, and doing well. If she still harbors any resentment, I have seen no signs of it.
When recently talking about grad school, she said it doesn’t matter where she goes, as long as the program is accredited. She says she is looking for the best financial package. Her attitude was very, very different three years ago when so many schools were beneath her.
We would have been able to swing the room & board at a couple of her full tuition options, but I’m so pleased we had the full ride offer. It has meant a lot to H & I who have been in a work grind for years.
I had a short vacation this year, which felt wonderful & indulgent. H is taking a short trip in January back home to see his uncle. H might need shoulder surgery & we are not sweating in fear like we would have before.
In our situation, it was absolutely the right decision for her to grab the full ride.
Good luck to you!