I agree with being clear from the get-go what your budget is, what you will and will not pay for, to avoid that heartbreak in April/May. There are so many great colleges that offer merit aid or full pay scholarships, but for some reason (peer pressure?) the kids seem drawn to the ones that “sound impressive” to others. (my son’s attitude). Selective doesn’t necessarily mean “better”, We had a frank discussion about loans, said that they were out of the question not only for our kid personally but for us, and steered our kid toward affordable options. Kids at 18 have no idea of how horrible after college debt is and, unless there was no other way to attend college, I would say it’s a no-go - even if they are legally able to do it for themselves. Stay firm in what you can afford and really encourage considering those good schools that offer aid if you need it.