<p>We are starting to think about colleges for our son with a mild PDD-NOS and ADHD diagnosis. He is an A student with good test scores but I have read many stories of kids like him having disastrous college experiences when they get away from home.</p>
<p>These cautionary tales suggest sending such students to schools that are not too far away, because of the likelihood of a disaster needing intervention. </p>
<p>This is probably a ridiculous question but I am struggling as I wonder: How far is too far, time/distance-wise? And does the existence of an autism support program at a school offset factors of size and distance? </p>
<p>The ASD support programs I have heard the best things about are very far away. (We are in the northeast.) My son is interested in computer science and engineering (shocking, right?), and I think he would do best at a not-huge school with a nice geeky element. One school that comes to mind is almost 5 hrs away though, with no ASD support program. Another with a good support program is almost 8 hrs away. A nearby huge state U has an autism support program, but it is a very overwhelming campus and I think he would feel lost there. </p>
<p>He really wants a nice campus experience (which his older sibling has), not a commuter school or CC. I want to honor his wishes of course, but know -- though I have not voiced this to him -- that things often go awry for kids like him in college.</p>
<p>Any comments on distance, and the importance of an ASD support program, would be most gratefully accepted.</p>
<p>I think that probably only the parents and with perhaps teacher comments and therapist comments (if there is one) can make a determination. All kids going to college need good grades and test scores, that is simply the lowest hurdle. After that kids need to be able to navigate on their own, be able to get themselves out of bed and out the door in the morning, be able to balance their time between study and social, and finally to be able to make decisions when confronted with several options. The near/far aspect would be determined by how much in person “checking in” you think you’d need to do to over the course of the semester. </p>
<p>I think any kiddo that needed support services in high school will most likely need support services in college. Things don’t magically go away when they leave home for the most part so yes, for any colleges under consideration finding out what services are available is important. And then, it’s important that the student has learned to self advocate in high school.</p>
<p>We struggled with this with son who is very bright but has Aspergers. We finally decided it needed to be somewhere with some support, not necessarily a formal program, and close enough for us to reach by car in less then 7 hrs. He liked engineering type schools and wanted something medium sized. He is now in his second semester and has amazed us with how well he has managed academically and with day to day skills. The one area he is still struggling with making friends as he has social anxiety. He has joined clubs and a design team and overall is not unhappy.</p>
<p>You know your kid and how “mild” his disorder is. Has he developed good time management skills during high school? Does he have self discipline? Is his behavior appropriate enough so that he can get along with roommates? Can he take care of his own responsibilities without reminders–or does he use mom as his alarm clock/secretary, etc.? Is he academically motivated–or is he impulsive/ likely to get involved with partying/ non-stop gaming?
I have a freshman S on the spectrum.
No ADHD. He is a CS major at a college 8 hours away–I would prefer to have him closer, but wanted him to go there for the scholarship $. I was holding my breath a bit his first semester. I thought he would either do very well, as he did in high school, OR crash and burn due to adjusting to new environment. He did very well. He doesn’t use a support group or anything, but his college has one. He also has a sister at another college in the same city, and connections with a church there, which have been helpful.
You know him best–what does your gut tell you?</p>
<p>you may want to check out these colleges, which are listed as being friendly or very friendly to students with Aspergers and who have very good engineering programs:
Carnegie Melon, Harvey Mudd, Rochester Institute of Technology, to name a few. </p>
<p>I’m grateful for the quick responses and everyone’s input thus far.</p>
<p>@Atamom – Those are good questions. He is pretty responsible, cares about school work, and not likely to be drawn into partying. Distractible though, so time management could be an issue. Gets himself up in the a.m. but needs to be hustled along.</p>
<p>@Momofthreeboys – He has an IEP but no formal support other than a speech/social group once or twice a month. Gets along with everyone but because he isn’t a great verbal communicator, I do worry about his self-advocacy skills.</p>
<p>His teachers all say: He’s so smart! He does things so well! He’ll do fine! I know that it is much more complicated than that.</p>
<p>I’m (perhaps prematurely) leaning towards the smallish school with no formal support system, but we have a lot of research to do.</p>
<p>Engineering degree programs can be found using the accreditation search at [ABET</a> -](<a href=“http://www.abet.org%5DABET”>http://www.abet.org) .</p>
<p>Computer science is a different story. While [ABET</a> -](<a href=“http://www.abet.org%5DABET”>http://www.abet.org) accreditation does hold a computer science degree program to a minimum standard, there are good computer science degree programs which do not have it. However, there are also very poor computer science degree programs. In the absence of ABET accreditation, a careful individual evaluation of the computer science courses and curricula needs to be done to check if the offerings are adequate (some computer science degree programs are very small and limited, and others are more like less-technical IT/MIS degree programs).</p>
<p>I have a 6th grader on the spectrum, and as I go through this process with my twin Juniors, I have already begun to think about how I may approach it with him when the time comes. Right now, his organizational/executive function skills are SO poor that I cannot imagine him ever going away to college…but his therapist assures me this will change. ;)</p>
<p>I went to listen to a speaker who is a mom of a boy on the spectrum (and from my understanding, not very high-functioning socially, but extremely gifted academically), and her son attends CMU as an engineering student. It’s about four hours from her home and she said he has done really well and that the school has been REALLY supportive. However, she hired a private “coach” (and it sounds like the university was used to this) who essentially sits down with her son every week and talks to him about his upcoming schedule that week and helps him break down assignments, test studying, etc, as well as helps him with daily living tasks, like making sure he has enough toiletries/snacks on hand, has gone to the financial aid office, etc. The coach has his class schedule and checks in periodically with professors, as well. The coach then also checks in regularly with the parents. I have no idea how much hiring someone like this would cost, but I think it would be an enormous relief to me to know I had someone like that “on call” for at least the first year. Just one more cost to factor in I suppose…</p>
<p>Mine’s on the spectrum. Probably the best thing his dad and I did was send him to summer camp (CTY) for some years. This gave him experience with living on a college campus, having roommates, making friends, having to tend to things like laundry, etc. I did a lot of different things to encourage social interactions there; he came away from his CTY experiences feeling socially accepted and successful, and had a lot of confidence when it came time for him to go to college. </p>
<p>He has never had any kind of support in college; he did have support in elementary and secondary school, some years more than others. (Support was at best perfunctory in high school.) That said, I think support could have been useful to him early in his college career, but he didn’t want it.</p>
<p>Our S is in his 2nd sem, frosh yr. He is only 30 min away and that is good. He decompressed in his bedroom growing up and he comes home every now and then and decompresses. </p>
<p>It’s a struggle on some days. I prefer close but I think each kid is different. A lot of you talk about engineering. My S has a gift for the arts.</p>
<p>Familiar subject for us. We wanted a “CTCL-like” campus at a driveable distance from home, four hours max. No plane-ride reliance. Also important was a safe town/city campus ocation with good “town-gown” relations and low crime rate in immediate neighborhood.</p>
<p>In addition to AS-specific programs, check schools for federally-funded TRIO program, which funds enhanced student-retention related support services, and includes LD students in its services scope. AS students are usually included. In Northeast, Boston College, Clarkson, Marist, RIT, and Syracuse participate. Fed web-site has a comprehensive list of participating schools, including some very selective colleges. TRIO is an incredible program seemingly tailored for an AS student.</p>
<p>Hi - I also have a son on the Spectrum. He was diagnosed before K with Aspergers and received services all the way through school. He is in his 2nd Qtr at a university that is in our downtown area 25 miles away. He receives accommodations for testing and was able to get a single in the dorm. He is a liberal arts student who likes to write but is thinking of switching to Digital Cinema. We chose colleges based on his desire to be in a city and that had good services for kids with Autism or Disabilities. It came down to a choice between 1 in our city (we live in a suburb) or one that is 2 hours by plane at least several hours by car. We’re very glad that we chose the closer option!!!</p>
<p>We’re able to help him when he needs us. He’s been so successful with being independent and doing his work. However, we’re still part of his social circle and he’s also been able to make some friends and socialize a bit more than in high school. I like to think that we are now Umbrella Parents. We come out when it rains. Kids with ASD need support when things go a little off the tracks. Keep looking for what fits your son, you will find it, but listen to your gut about how close you think feels right and how far seems too far.</p>
<p>Also, an on-campus pre-college academic program for summer before senior year is an ideal experiment in independent living. DS did a 4-week program, and loved the independence, while the supervised environment assured us that he was monitored while away from home for first time.</p>
<p>I don’t have a child “on the spectrum”, but in trying to learn more, I have been thinking: if this were my child, I would be more interested in finding schools with internship specific approaches for students with such issues. Kids go to college for 4 great years, with the goal of a career afterward, right? But, in life, a real job typically has a lot of pressure, and you are expected to be an adult, handle your work, get along with co-workers, get to work on-time, handle frustration professionally, etc. I would hope that a college would especially be helping PDD students, etc, to learn about what comes AFTER college, and be well prepared for that. And since job hunting is hard enough for the most academically and socially skilled graduate, internships in companies that are friendly to employees with difficulties would be pretty important to help those students have a shot at finding a job after graduation. Just a thought…</p>
<p>Teachandmom, I had very similar concerns when looking at colleges with my AS son. We learned about the co-op model at a college fair and DS, a budding engineer and very much a hands on learner, was hooked. He ended up applying to and attending Northeastern in Boston because of its strong co-op program - 1200 miles away and the only out of state school he applied to! I would highly recommend co-ops for many AS students since this does give them opportunities to prepare and develop skills they will need in the workplace. And although there were many bumps along the way, and a lot of long-distance support, guidance and coaching from the home front, it was a great experience for him overall (he graduated over a year ago and stayed out there, and a few months ago moved in with the girlfriend he has been dating for a few years)</p>
<p>We are absolutely thinking about co-ops, and he will probably do a pre-college program this summer.</p>
<p>I had never heard of the TRIO program but will look into it. </p>
<p>I appreciate all the input. I am also heartened to hear from some parents whose kids have been successful at college; before my original post I had read mostly about bad outcomes. It will surely be a bumpy road but it’s good to have reason to hope. Thanks, all.</p>
<p>Another thing to consider: what housing options are there? If he needs to decompress in his room, and he’s in a traditional shared space will that allow him that need? There’s that tension between a single room possibly being too socially isolating vs. the constant “on” time of sharing a room. D1 needs to shut a door & be alone, so her suite style dorm with single bedrooms has been perfect. Although she’s sharing a bedroom this semester for an off site program and hasn’t complained once (but it’s her 6th semester.)
Best of luck!</p>
<p>Have you looked into whether the large state U. has effective ways of breaking down the student population into smaller communities? Or how effective their support program is?</p>
<p>I have kids with medical issues and I let them choose where to go. We travelled halfway across the country to look at schools. After 4 years, I am so so grateful they chose to be close to home. Interventions in crises don’t have to happen as much, because the kinds of natural interactions that are possible by being relatively close by have a preventative effect, for the most part. Plus, I wouldn’t want our relationships to be entirely defined by problems, so I get to see them for lunch or whatever.</p>
<p>I sometimes think our culture is a little too obsessed with independence, though some kids demand it for awhile. It is ironic that at 18 they are expected to fall off a cliff, but then, according to what I have read, 82% of them are living at home after graduation!</p>
<p>Housing CAN be a big factor for many students on the spectrum especially if they are dealing with other kinds of issues as well, but for many it is not necessarily a make or break factor and if it seems like it might be, that could be an indication that the student may not quite be ready for such a fast all-at one-time transition to a residential college far from home and may need a more gradual transition/preparation through local college/cc in a familiar environment with close family support. Part of our responsibility as parents is to help prepare our Aspie kids to succeed in and be able to live in a largely extroverted and social world, and while recognizing and respecting the need for, figuratively speaking, “a room of their own” we should also be helping them to find other ways/places to decompress than retreating to their bedroom which is probably what most of them did when they were younger. ( for the record in my younger years I was just if not more introverted, shy, socially awkward as S was; in fact as I have watched him grow into a young adult, I have come to realize that S is actually a closet extrovert who just lacked the skills to understand and use social and nonverbal communication. In other words, he was autistic and NOT introverted (like me) with the inherent need to be alone (a lot) in order to decompress and reenergize). </p>
<p>There are ways to help our Aspie kids learn to “decompress” than retreating from the world so to speak (the easy path). For S, physical activity has always been a great way for him to relieve stress so he routinely went to the gym in college to work out. And as a typical engineering type his usual means of decompressing was through video games – but often by hanging out with one or two engineering friends, some more introverted than he (he very wisely decided on his own not to bring his Xbox with him to college because he recognized how distracting and isolating it could be, although he still had some computer games). He also went on long bike rides if he really needed to escape the entire school environment which is something he often did during hs yrs (that was part of our college “plan”, I even found a company in Boston where you could rent bikes for a nominal fee - although he completely surprised me when a week or so into his first semester he called home and asked me to ship his own bike since he was joining the cycling club! Huh?? But that turned out to be a great way for him to do something he enjoyed independently while providing opportunities to socialize and develop friends; as competitive as he often was, I think he realized he would never win any races and did it just for the enjoyment (wow, this kid was growing up fast ). Part of our plan from the beginning was also to find at least one activity outside of class that he could join in order to provide opportunities to socialize and develop friends; for him this was initially band and he participated regularly in one or two bands throughout college, including the semesters he was on co-op. </p>
<p>Besides EC activities, there are other ways to make the campus smaller for our Aspie students who may easily be overwhelmed by the size of a large campus. For instance, many of the large universities also offer living/learning communities during freshman year – floors in the dorms where all the students share a similar interest. For instance, S was on the engineering floor so he was surrounded by several similar personality types; this also made it easier for him to join study groups since many of his nearby dorm-mates were also in his classes. </p>
<p>Anyway I guess my point is that many kids on the spectrum, especially those at the milder end, CAN be quite successful in college but it definitely takes planning and preparing them as well as providing continued monitoring and support (although as in my case this can often even be long distance!)</p>
). Part of our plan from the beginning was also to find at least one activity outside of class that he could join in order to provide opportunities to socialize and develop friends; for him this was initially band and he participated regularly in one or two bands throughout college, including the semesters he was on co-op. </p>