<p>With all the recent tragedies the safety of our kids scares me to death. What can we do to keep them safe? Why isn't anyone talking about this?
It has gotten to the point that one school is talking about allowing students to carry guns.
Our kids will have some form of protection before they leave. Any suggestions?</p>
<p>Street smarts are good and for the rest...I have no ideas. Why talk about something we can do little about? P.S. I refuse to live my life "scared to death" but that is clearly a personal decision.</p>
<p>Street smarts are crucial. But I completely disagree with not talking about it because we can't do anything about it. Maybe it should be our responsibility to talk about it, to figure out a way to help keep our kid's safe.
I will not live in fear, but the day's of "it won't happen to me" are over. I will take the necessary steps to protect myself and my family. But I won't be carrying a gun.</p>
<p>Talking about mental illness and the lack of services is good, I concur. Problem is that many SMI are not identified until the college years and in that we have a societal problem. Much of this is cultural stigma and shutting of the eyes.</p>
<p>Have to agree--street smarts! And, parents, keep good communication with your students. Weeks of no communication could mean issues.</p>
<p>Unlike us - our graduating seniors have grown up with "lock down" drills and school shootings. Columbine happened in 1999 when my daughter was 8 years old and in the 3rd grade. College is no different. Most colleges are very safe - as safe as they can be without putting up bars and gates.</p>
<p>In a conversation after the Va Tech incident with my newly graduating senior - she asked out the gunman got into the classroom building. I said he walked in - she wondered why the doors were not locked - like in her high school. I then explained the dorms have security but classrooms buildings do not - she thought that odd. But that is how she grew up.</p>
<p>Most of our children do have some "street smarts" and the colleges my kids are at reinforce it - but it is good for parents to go over the "safety" stuff.</p>
<p>Ultimately there is only so much one can do - keep in perspective the incidents are low and don't forget that 6000 teens die in car crashes each year but we still embrace teen age driving.
Be smart and safe but live life.</p>
<p>I agree with eveyone. The way I think about this is that I cannot rely on someone else to protect my children. I must give them the ability to do that for themselves. Criminals are probably more street smart than my kids.
The feeling I get when I think about the loss of a child is unbearable. That is something I don't think I could handle.
Campus security can't be there at all times</p>
<p>I survived my 4 in Philly.....not a victim of crime. One of the funniest thing is to observe the vast minnions of suburbanites, used to driving all places as they learn to adjust to urban life. Clueless. They think they are street smart but you know.......not so much.</p>
<p>Goodness... this is really relevant^^^^^! D2 (16 yrs old)has a summer job working summer sports camps and started a week long stint in the city working in a park next to a city housing development. It was certainly an eye opener for her coming from suburbia! Before she was out of her car (an old Camry with over 200,000 miles on it) someone approached her car asking for money and wanting her to roll down her window. She was shocked but just waved him away and drove away. She is learning quickly!;) I'm hoping she will learn to be watchful and take her safety seriously.</p>
<p>JustAMom-I grew up with the same procedures! :)</p>
<p>I remember after Columbine, my Elementary school (I would've been in either 3rd or 4th grade at the time if it was in '99...hard to tell because I have a late birthday) started having lockdown drills. These continued into middle school, and by high school, we had lockdown drills, had to wear our IDs around our necks, and if we forgot said IDs, we had to purchase a temporary for $1 that was only good for one day. If we lost our ID, we had to pay $5 for a new one.</p>
<p>The school gates were locked at all times except for when kids were being let out. </p>
<p>I agree, street smarts are the best prevention method. Make sure your kids always travel with at least one other person, ESPECIALLY at night (try and get the girls to take a guy with them at night...even if the guy isn't tough as nails, a lot of criminals will hesitate at attacking a young woman if a young man is with her). Be aware of your surroundings...know who you can mess with and who you can't.</p>
<p>Grace,
I respectfully disagree. If it were that easy we would'nt have crime.
The best prevention method is to be able to protect yourself. I know that we all work very hard to teach our kids all of the lessons in life, and those that you mentioned are all important. But thinking that your child will never be alone or vulnerable is not realistic.
Murder every 22 minutes in the US.
Rape every 5 minutes.
Robbery every 49 seconds.
Is it worth taking the chance?</p>
<p>Maybe it's just that I grew up in a very urban and somewhat crime-ridden area (in some parts of town, needless to say)...but I've learned to protect myself pretty well.</p>
<p>By all means, get your kids to take a self-defense class. But (I've had friends take them) they definitely teach prevention, and most of them say the same sorts of things.</p>
<p>-If someone approaches you and you know they mean you harm, scream like mad and RUN. It's very likely that someone will notice and either try and help you or call the police.
-Carry pepper spray/mace with you (although it isn't always allowed on-campus, lots of my friends keep it in their car)
-I also have a few friends who carry Swiss army knives or smallish knives on a switchblade...and they know how to use them.</p>
<p>Robbery especially is one of the easiest crimes to prevent. Make it difficult. Most thieves want to be noticed as little as possible, so if you make your home/dorm/car/whatever difficult to break into and they know it's going to take valuable time (as in time where someone could notice it's not their property and take action), they'll move on and find an easier target.</p>
<p>Besides, things can be replaced. take self-defense classes. The better you can defend yourself, the more confident you are...and it has been statistically proven that women who look like they can handle themselves in a fix (ie look confident in their abilities to protect themselves) are less often "chosen" as targets.</p>
<p>The fact remains, you CAN'T live in fear. You miss valuable experiences when you fear your own shadow.</p>
<p>Research where crime occurs most in the town where your S/D is going to college and advise them to stay away/avoid those areas. But it just seems to me that there is no point in living in fear due to statistics and things that you really have no control over. No one ever ASKS to be the victim of crime, and most criminals are completely random in their choosing (murder is a different issue). Better to be smart than afraid.</p>
<p>One factor not being discussed here is the ETOH factor.</p>
<p>What's ETOH?</p>
<p>Alcohol............</p>
<p>"Criminals are probably more street smart than my kids."</p>
<p>The criminals ARE the kids. The overwhelming majority of criminal acts against college students are committed by other students, on or near campus. This includes 600,000 individual acts of assault, and 70,000 acts of rape or sexual assault.</p>
<p>CAS</a> Press Release: Prevalence of Rape Higher in Heavy Drinking College Environments</p>
<p>Information</a> on college freshman alcohol related problems at MedicineNet.com</p>
<p>Statistically, you can tell who the criminals are. They are more likely to be male, white, with higher than average family incomes, attend residential colleges, and hold a drink in their hands. Beware!</p>
<p>Some of the most high profile murders of college kids recently involved car jackings or efforts to just get ATM access, cell phones or Ipods. When I was in college, someone would have to rob 20 kids to get $20 - not the case now with the expensive gadgets they all have. At the very least, kids need to - lock their car doors as soon as they get in the car - park in well lit areas - not frequent ATMs in remote areas or at night (or better yet, use the ATMs on campus.) There are some very basic, common sense things that aren't being done.</p>
<p>I don't think street smarts etc. is enough. I won't live in fear and I will know that my children will be able to protect themselves.
My wife and children carry tasers. They are more effective than pepper spray, non-lethal and not considered a weapon. I look at it like an insurance policy, it's there if you need it but hopefully you won't.
My daughter als carries what they called a date kit. It has pepper spray, a screecher and a spot for her taser. Call me paranoid but if something happened and I did not do everything I could I would not be able to live with myself.
It does not matter to me if we live in a two horse town or New York, crime can happen anywhere, and we will be prepared.
I also plan on installing wireless security systems in their dorm/apt</p>
<p>"At the very least, kids need to - lock their car doors as soon as they get in the car - park in well lit areas - not frequent ATMs in remote areas or at night (or better yet, use the ATMs on campus.)"</p>
<p>The overwhelming majority of crimes they will face will happen once they are inside.</p>
<p>I think discussing scenarios are useful, particularly in terms of some things that are not smart to do. Maybe some of it will sink in their heads and be there to help in time of crisis. It scares me too. What scares me the most though is the kid himself. Mood disorders, hormones, substance abuse, anger, frustration, immaturity, impulse, shallow thinking, sex, focus on immediate pleasure, foolishness can all be deadly, and some kids have plenty of those things. Kids shoud not go wandering out alone, or be out very late at night. There are parts of town where there is trouble, and those areas should be avoided particularly late at night, and certainly alone. However, the parties and foolishness that are part of campus life are some true dangers.</p>