This may have been answered in other threads, so please feel free to refer me to prior discussions. My daughter is a sophomore and we are starting the process of picking a list of schools to research based on her interests (rowing/Greek life/social media marketing and communications). She is very interested in a Southern school for the warmer temps, campus beauty, etc. We are from CT, and many have commented to us (teachers, guidance counselers, parents and friends) that she “may not feel comfortable” going to a Southern school because CT and the North in general are “more progressive”. I’m assuming this is in reference to opinions about being gay, gun control, race relations and other sensitive subjects. Also, lots of comments about “Southern girls” with long blonde hair, beautiful wardrobes and wealthy families. My daughter has long brunette hair :-), certainly dresses just fine (although not all brand name) and comes from an interfaith family (Judeo-Christian) and her last name is Jewish. We are generally a liberally minded family (in terms of social issues) with the exception of gun control (my husband is a huge 2nd Amendment rights advocate) and are generally more fiscally conservative. So plunk us right down in a moderate camp with no one political party that gets it right for us.
I do not want to perpetuate Southern sterero types with her any more than I would want someone from the South to perpetuate Northern stereotypes. But at the same time I want my daughter to feel welcome and comfortable in her school environment. I would love to hear your comments, both positive and negative, about how your Northeast children have felt attending Southern schools. If you are Southern, I would love your perspective as well in terms of anything you can say to debunk these stereotypes!! In the end, my daughter will go to school wherever she chooses (assuming she gets in) but the more info the better. In your response, please tell me where you are from, about your child’s specific experience and background. Thank you!!
P.S. I went to school in Virginia, at William & Mary, which is clearly Southern although not what I consider “deep South”. My daugher is interested in VA, NC and SC.
We live in the South, but are transplants from the North. Unfortunately some of the things you are worried about will be true. Consider Clemson University. Lots of people from the North and on a lake so rowing and sailing are popular. Or schools in DC are generally liberal. And a popular school, although not in the states you mentioned, is Tulane.
Thank you for your honestly. I have thought about Tulane although not mentioned it to my daughter yet. I have been to New Orleans a couple of times and LOVE it, but think I would worry about her a bit more there safety wise. Clemson is on our list to look at though!
northerners being prejudice , saying and believing ignorant things about southerners is the last area in which intolerance is tolerated in the united states. has the guidance counselor or others with these opinions actually been to the places they spew stereotypes about? you can fix this problem by seeing for yourself… get on a plane with your daughter and see the school first hand and decide for yourself.
We live in NJ and my son just graduated from an all boys Catholic prep school. The Southern preppy culture was right up his alley. Topsiders, red pants, short hair. Political stuff did not seem to be a focal point at any of the schools we visited. They were William & Mary, Washington & Lee and Wake Forest.
What northerners consider “preppy”, southerners consider simply being well dressed and well groomed. Its not a subculture and not income related. Just good manners.
I do believe this issue is more difficult for girls than boys, ie fitting in, and depends where you apply. Many of his friends are going South.
You may want to consider Elon. There are quite a few northern kids there and the campus is outstanding.
I am from NC and most of my family have lived in NC since the 1700s. Certainly many of the stereotypes will be found and many of my family members fit these stereotypes quite accurately.
I lived overseas for 14 years in the Former Soviet Union and you will find many Russians that fit the Russian stereotypes pretty well too. I also found that once you got to know many of them, they are a remarkably warm and friendly people. Similarly, I think anyone that spent time in the South would find many of us are not always like we are rumored to be except I do think we are generally more friendly than those in the North
Best of luck to your daughter, no matter where she decides to attend!!
zobroward we do plan to visit and if you noticed I actually did go to a Southern school and loved it. I have had other people say these things to me (which surprised me) and as a parent am trying to do my due diligence. These people have either a) had friends go to school in the South b) have had their own child go to school in the South or c) are teachers/guidance counselers who have had students go and not be comfortable/have had issues. So all of that info leads me to believe there is partial truth to it (all stereotypes are based on some truth which helps to perpetuate the stereotype) but I’m just trying to assess how “real” it is. It certainly won’t stop us from visiting and it certainly won’t stop my daughter from going - it’s just information.
BatesParents2019 thank you!! My daughter is really into the Southern preppy culture (which is really the same as New England coastal preppy for the most part!) and is excited about that part of it. Thank you for the tips - W&M is on the list (I’m an alum) as is Wake Forest. Elon looks amazing but doesn’t have rowing
@dlcohen What exactly are you worried about? Southerners are much more friendly and much less judgemental than northerners without question. They are more socially formal in my opinion and you can see that in dress and manners.
Thank you yearstogo! I do agree that stereotypes are everywhere (including the Northeast!) and I wholeheartedly agree that Southerners are some of the friendliest people I have met, based on my attendance at William & Mary and my visits to Charleston and other gorgeous places. Northerners tend to be harder to get to know for sure and just generally less open. The culture and beauty of the South are unique and something I love, but like everyplace there are issues - just trying to get a sense of how “real” they are. In the end she will go where she wants, but I just want her to have the facts - no different than learning if a school is a “party” school, religious school or what have you.
@BatesParents2019 that is a good point on the formality. There are stereotypes that Southerners are “friendly to your face” but can be exclusive or clicky (especially the girls). My personal expereince is that they are just friendly (very much so!) Mostly though, I’m concerned about biases based on race and sexuality. It would be upsetting to her to listen to people make comments about gays or about someones race/religion in a cruel, insensitive or joking way - although it would be good for her to use that opportunity to speak her mind. I do fully recognize that can happen anywhere but people have made me think it happens with much more frequency in the South than elsewhere. I also think saying Southerners are more friendly and Northerners more judgmental are stereotypes too and not universal truths.
By no means am I offended, I hope I did not come across that way.
I have a cousin in college that has facebook posts now re keeping the confederate flag flying and against the recent marriage decision by the Supreme Court. Sweet girl, but different views than I have which is fine…I think (and hope) that your daughter will find very diverse thoughts on the college campus she ultimately attends.
There is a very large spectrum of Southern schools just as there are places in the South (Atlanta is completely different than rural Mississippi). William and Mary is nothing like Mississippi State University even though both are in the South. Don’t generalize the entire region, rather look at the individual climates of colleges in question.
@yearstogo not at all. In the end, she will make the decision and can use the opportunity wherever she goes to speak her mind if something offends her but sometimes it’s hard to be someplace if you can’t find enough like minded people!
Thanks @whenhen! You make a good point - I think once she narrows her list and visits some places, it will be important to ask questions about specific schools.
I think it depends on the school and I also think that things are changing so that southern schools which may have been regional 10 years ago are now national. So obviously Duke, Emory, Tulane have had a national/international reputation for a long time and have a lot of northerners. Vanderbilt and Rice are now drawing a more national/international student body. Davidson too. Those are schools that kids we know have applied to and/or attended.
Thanks @uesmomof2! Agree it likely depends on the school - good point. I think for her a mixture of student body (diversity) will be something that’s a must and will be a good opportunity for her and all students to be around people with different opinions.
My suggestion: seek out and contact people in your community who are attending a southern school. We found it helpful to talk with other parents and students we personally know. For instance your daughter can inquire among her friends about who has an older sibling or neighbor going to a southern university. Then reach out to them. We have found that in general, people love to talk about their own experience…and sometimes ‘a friend of a friend’ can provide a lot of insight.
It may also help you, when visiting a particular school in the future. I know my daughter has been contacted by younger students from her old high school. She has answered questions, given recommendations and has even given a couple of them a tour when they visited. Good luck!
Thanks @88jm19! We have talked to some friends with mixed reviews and anytime we get the opportunity we ask lots of questions (about any school). We have one friend at University of Richmond - has some complaints but generally loves the school. It still isn’t as typical (from what I can tell) for students from CT to go South although certainly quite a few do!
except I do think we are generally more friendly than those in the North 
