<p>I would love to hear from parents whose kids have ventured far from home. We just returned from Emory accepted students open house. D loved everything about Emory - academics, students, general feeling, her coaches, the facilities, opportunities, etc. Her only hesitation is the distance from home. WIth her sport, she would have a very short December and Thanksgiving break. I know she will have an adjustment at any school and I am quite sure she will thrive with all of the opportunities that await her as well as exposure to a different part of the country. Any reassurance, advice about cheap air tickets, or other advice would be great. We have one more open house tomorrow.</p>
<p>I'm going to be honest and tell you that everything regarding travel, moving in, packing out, coming home for vacation - it's all much harder, and more expensive, when you have to go by air. There's no getting around it. Is it worth it? Most families think so, or they wouldn't be doing it.:) My daughter wouldn't have had it any other way, yet my son would only consider it as a last resort. I think the student's attitude and excitement about the school and the opportunities are what makes it worthwhile.
She'll want to come home for the holidays, no matter how short, so plan and budget accordingly. You'll use your cellphones (especially those free after 9 and weekend minutes) quite a bit, and email and IMs will become routine. The first year you may hear from her several times a week, but you'll miss her, too. The next year the calls will become less frequent, and by your third year she'll probably have to remind herself to give you a call because it's Sunday, or whenever her usual call day is.
Having a sports team will help her assimilate into college life very quickly, as the team will be her new family away from home. I would advise her not to let the distance keep her away from what sounds like a wonderful experience! You'll be amazed at how fast these four years fly by!</p>
<p>From the student's point of view, they get so immersed in college that they miss home when they come for air and have time to think about it. That amount of time appears to be progressively less. My D's schedule for the last two weeks and again this week is enough to make me blanch. On second thought, you be Blanche and I'll be Esther. Anyway, it looks as if junior/senior years of hs were only prep for this.</p>
<p>I am 100% in favor of going far from home and exploring another part of the world as part of the college experience. Or any experience -- we started by sending ours 600 miles away to summer camp so they could experience a different part of the country in elementary school. One ds is only 6 hours away at Chicago, but spent his 11th grade year in France. Other ds is only 3 hours away at state U but has taken advantage of his tuition situation to spend the last 2 and now this coming summer in France and Spain. DD went 1000 miles away to Tulane and got Katrina'd 2000 miles away to Oregon. For us it has meant Christmas in Paris and a chance to explore Chicago, New Orleans, and the Pacific Northwest and, best of all, watch our children develop the ability to be comfortable, or to persevere through discomfort and solve problems, on their own steam. We have had a couple of health-related near-misses, but on the whole things have worked out very well. This may well be the only time in their lives when they are not encumbered by financial or relationship limitations and can really go wherever they want, so my advice is: go for it.</p>
<p>What's far? My daughter is 16 hours away. She either rides home with friends (she considers anyone that lives on the east coast fair game) or gets a flight on Southwest or if I know enough in advance to the closer small airport. I still dislike that a visit for us entails flying, renting a car and a hotel and then staying two or three nights instead of the, "we'll pop down and take you out to dinner" quickie that some of our friends have. I think a lot of the distance thing is psychological. It's not that expensive for her to fly home more frequently but we've never really considered it. However, if there was an emergency, she could get home faster (or we could get there faster) then if she was going to school in the western part of the state.</p>
<p>Our son will be about 7 hours away but it will actually take longer to visit him because we'll be driving and will still have to stay in a hotel for a couple of nights. </p>
<p>Tips? Plan things in advance. You can't book earlier then 6 months ahead on Southwest but the soonest you can book the more choice of times and the lower the rates. </p>
<p>Reassurance? Knowing intellectually that my kids are in the best place is tremendously helpful but some days that doesn't matter a bit. When my daughter first left I was pretty darn sad but I did get used to it and now after her third year at college I've learned to look forward to the time when she's home and enjoy the rest of my life with the rest of the family. ps - I will be looking for some advice when my youngest leaves the nest in 5 years.</p>
<p>Yes, logistically, it is more difficult, especially moving in and moving out, but the experiences D has had far outweigh any difficulties, and to see her so happy and involved makes my heart happy! D could have gone to in-state schools, and they are very good, but she has been given such wonderful opportunities where she is that she couldn't have had here, that I know it was the right decision. With school, she has been to NYC to some museums, seen a couple Broadway plays, the Folger where she and her classmates handled Shakespearean First Folios, and seen a play in DC. She could not have had any of these opportunities here. It really is a matter of fit. This college gave D the opportunities she wanted and is taking advantage of, and all the schools that did were far away. It fits her, so it doesn't matter where it is. D is happy, so I am happy, and am thrilled with her experience. And she is an only child, so it was a bit difficult, but I revel in her happiness and it truly does help.</p>
<p>In contrast, I'll point out that even when they attend school closer to home, you won't necessarily hear from them or see them that often. Our son is a freshman at a school 2 hours away -- during the fall quarter, we probably saw him once a month. During winter quarter, we saw him once during the quarter, and we'll see him for parent's weekend next week, but that will probably be it until he's out in June. We visit him, he doesn't come home. He has just adapted so well that he doesn't feel the need to come home, although we miss him. I now think that it wouldn't matter if he'd gone much farther away -- we'd see him about the same amount.</p>
<p>How far away is it, and what are the other choices?</p>
<p>We live in northern New England and the other choices are Holy Cross and Trinity.</p>
<p>Atlanta is a busy airport, and the metro takes people straight to the airport. Flights often inexpensive, especially if you book T-day early. She's in an area with many stores, and you can order items to be picked up locally. Lots of old threads on this. After freshman year, kids often don't come home for short holidays.</p>
<p>Pfui. Atlanta to NYC/Boston is nothing, a veritable hop, skip, and a jump. Have a good chance of doing it without changing planes and having to make connections and putting up dead time in connecting airports. And it's the same time zone, which really makes telephone calls a lot easier. For points North of Boston, I suspect a shuttle or a puddle-jumper is the solution...now, I happen to dislike puddle-jumpers very much myself.</p>
<p>Trinity was one of dd's choices (well, not really, as we couldn't afford it) and I would have liked that -- one very short and inexpensive plane ride -- but we have survived. It's really only a challenge when there's a time change -- that trip from the west coast becomes an all day thing in terms of layovers and the 3-hour difference. I agree that Atlanta is an easy one -- lots of flights and the metro system -- MARTA? -- is fabulous.</p>
<p>DD was gone from Sept to Dec, and now from Jan - May. I miss her a lot but unlike her brothers she is willing to IM and call frequently.</p>
<p>Our d is 900 miles away from home and there have been a few challenges. Nashville has a decent airport, but the connecting flights to our area are scarce, and if our d leaves on a Friday afternoon and misses a connection, the chances are good she'll have to spend the night somewhere. This isn't a huge issue, but we felt more comfortable once we determined exactly which hotel in the stopover area she'd stay at - now that we've worked this out, maybe she'll never need the info. </p>
<p>She was really pretty sick with the flu this winter, and there was of course nothing we could do about it ..... couldn't even get a care package to her when she most needed it because it was a Saturday-Sunday thing. I think that was harder for me than for her, since her friends stepped in and brought her food and drugstore stuff. I posted about this and got some great suggesions, including one I wish I'd known about in September: get a phone book for the area where your kid is, so that you can easily get phone numbers for drugstores, restaurants, and other services in the area and call them quickly.</p>
<p>I know people from our area who've flown back and forth for move-in, but we decided to drive to get her stuff delivered. Even so, we needed to buy mass quantities at Target and Walmart, so I wonder how necessary driving really was. I lack the nerve, though, for buying everything on the list during move-in weekend - I'm glad we brought most of it by car.</p>
<p>These schools should have a network of at-home moms or poor grad students or whoever that parents could call and pay to run errands for sick kids, busy kids. It's not that I don't expect my son to get his butt on a shuttle and go to Target when he needs to. But if he's sick or swamped, I'd love to be able to pick up the phone and ask someone to pick up some stuff at Target and drop it off on campus if they're going to Target anyway. It really seems like it could work. Could have a website where parents who need errands run for their DS or DD post the errands. People who are available to run errands could sign up for the errands they want to run. Could use PayPal. Works for the people running the errands because they could set things up on their end so shopping wasn't an extra trip, just the campus drop-off, and they could choose just the errands that they were available for. Works for us parents because we get peace of mind and save shipping fees.</p>
<p>It builds character. Your kid will grow up fast in learning to fend for herself. Not that it is comparable to college, but think about all the kids who went to boarding school for HS.</p>
<p>For me, plenty of things were more of a pain-in-the-butt because I didn't have my parents an hour car-ride away from any problem that I had. So, I learned how to do things on my own and that my parents couldn't be there for everything.</p>
<p>How often your kid will be able to come home will obviously depend on how much money you have and whether you're on a cheap airfare route, but there's always email and phone.</p>
<p>There's fending for yourself (you're right, the kids must do that as much as they can), and then there's honestly needing some help.</p>
<p>I had mono when I was in college. Spent several weeks with high fevers, going to class and doing homework whenever my temperature was low enough. Also had a broken arm one semester, my dominant one.</p>
<p>I'd like to be able to have a way to help my son out if he ends up in a similar situation.</p>
<p>Even though we all love my son's school, I sort of wonder why he is so far away. Being far has not necessarily enhanced the experience.</p>
<p>We've missed going to his concerts. We haven't really been able to meet his friends. It would be nice to visit briefly and take him out to dinner.</p>
<p>Plan your money accordingly. The airplane tickets are expensive (and I suspect going up rapidly). Storage lockers cost money too.</p>
<p>All in all I'd say if a family had a comparable school 2 hours away versus 7 hours, personally I'd suggest they look hard at the 2 hour school.</p>
<p>I also wonder if he will be able to stay in touch with his friends after college is over? And makes a difference if LOTS of the kids are far from home, or if your kid is in the minority.</p>
<p>BTW Holy Cross is a GREAT school.</p>
<p>I am glad my D has gone to a school that is less than a 3 hr drive ( optimimally)
1- traveling to and from airport is a PITA not to mention $$$
by attending a school closeby we can travel ( and have) by bus/car/train, and her roommate, whose family lives a few blocks away even has gone by bike( the Seattle- to Portland)
2-by being closer while we didn't visit on parent weekends, and while she doesn't come home for fall or spring breaks, it makes it possible for use to visit * her* on long weekends, and for her sister and friends to take the train to visit.
3with graduation coming up it makes it possible for more people to attend ( still deciding with my family if that is a good thing)
4 since she is staying in the same city after graduation, and apparently many students do, but since she is a few hours drive, it is reasonable to visit, as compared to being on the east coast, where it would be a big deal.
5 and this just came up-
her younger sister class is going on a 3 day field trip that is very important to her. The day they leave is the day of her sisters college graduation! D2 said she would rather miss the graduation and go on the field trip. If D1 had attended college outside the area, D2 would have had to miss one or the other. HOwever since it is close, and the field trip only 5 hours driving from Portland, one of us will drive D2 to her class trip immediately after the ceremony.This means that we both have to drive down to Portland from Seattle- something that is fairly pricey since gas is $3.00 gal, but it is cheaper than flying!
( although the shuttle isn't that expensive , but then we wouldn't have a car)</p>
<p>My oldest went to school 750 miles away, #2 is 2500 miles away, and #3 will "only" be 400 miles away. It was doable to drive the first to and from and traveling for him was too bad. The second one was told from the getgo that he would be more or less on his own. Traveling home for short periods such as T-giving is not reasonable. He also has chosen to stay at school over spring break. The dorms stay open during breaks but there is no food service. He and some other friends get together and cook over breaks in the dorm kitchen. We send him extra money for food. He has had to learn to live with minimal things because the college will only let him store 4 boxes over the summer. However, he is not a kid into stuff so it isn't an issue.</p>
<p>Movinmom - In August we move back to Atlanta, so your D can have Thanksgiving with us! :) Since we live far from family, we usually just have a group of International students anyway. (The year before we moved to Germany, we had students from Japan, Pakistan, Sweden, Ghana, and China. It was so much fun!)</p>
<p>Our oldest went to Philly (from Atlanta), and we drove him to and fro with a minivan full of stuff - every year till we moved away. Our second went to NYC (from Germany) - moved himself in, bought stuff online and had it shipped, etc. It was SO much easier! Not as easy as going to a local school, but better for him, I think. He has been pretty successful at finding storage options (friends with apartments, etc.)</p>
<p>When my oldest was going off to school, one of the high school counselors told us that kids who are most likely to have trouble adjusting to college are those who have trouble separating from their family and high school friends, come home too often, and never really create their own life. Distance helps.</p>
<p>My D would like to go away to school, too. Being the third and last to leave, I'm finding myself a bit more reluctant to see that happen. I'm trying to talk her into Emory, but she complains that it will be too close to home. (I told her we'd move. She doesn't believe me.)</p>