<p>In college, there's a mix of kids. My S is at a private U, USC. The kids there range from those who have substantial need-based FAid, to kids who have merit aid, to those whose folks are paying full freight of $45K+. My S has met all kinds of kids at the U & hasn't commented to us about the relative wealth/poverty of his peers.<br>
S went to private HS & was somewhere about the middle of his peers in terms of how much money the family has.
Perhaps when he visits, he can try to get a "feel" of the schools that might be more "comfortable" for him. Schools which give a lot of merit & need-based aid are more likely to have a wider range of socio-economic students present in larger numbers than schools notorious for "gapping" and schools who give no merit aid & little FAid. </p>
<p>Sax,
I get the credit card statements every month & there have been no surprises. He's had the card since July & mostly it's just an "insurance policy" for my sake, knowing he has it, "just in case."</p>
<p>when my son was in college, he begged for a "loan" for books he wasn't expecting to have to buy. When I found out he used the "loan" for a new stereo, the money stopped. Hard way to teach a lesson, but it was a lesson he never forgot either. I think it's called "tough love". Applies to a lot of things.</p>
<p>Dang this is a timely thread. DD took half of the money she earned last summer to school in Boston. She is almost through it! When she is here for thanksgiving, we are going to talk about journaling all $$ spent. She is such a hard worker, but not maybe as frugal as she could be. I think the post about "new experiences" may give a clue to her $$ usage. From our small mid-west town to Boston is .....a big change socioeconomically. Though it is not an exorbitant amount of $$ that she has gone through, it is certainly a finite amount.</p>
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yea...I hesitate to tell that story because I realize what a complete idiot I look like.
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Not at all, sax. I give my 15 year old my ATM card because I hate to shop & it's easier. She's a real tightwad (expecially with her own money) so we haven't had any problems. One mom will drop the shopping gang off at the mall, another mom does pick up, and the girls have a day out.</p>
<p>She's in a private school where there is an unbelievable amount of wealth & spoiling going on (at least by our standards.) She says she is "poor," but really has no clue about how we live well within our means by choice. I really can't wait to see how college, wherever it may be, will test how well we've taught her to not give a hoot about who has $$ & who doesn't.</p>
<p>momnipotent: Boston is a great city, but it is very pricey. Try to bite the bullet and let her take advantage of all the city has to offer. SKip the Starbucks, yes. But see shows, exhibits, & explore everywhere she can.</p>
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Anyway, he thinks that private college will be like his private high school, where he is considered “poor”, or at least thinks he is (we are so far from poor it isn’t funny). I’m trying to convince him that it’s different in college. Or is it?
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<p>Well, this could be one argument in favor of a state university, if he happens to find one that he likes.</p>
<p>My son is at a flagship state u and is very aware of differences in affluence among his classmates. He says that kids are careful not to suggest social activities that some in the group cannot afford (like eating in a restaurant instead of eating the dining hall meal that you've already paid for). Some of the kids around him are rolling in money (I've seen the cars). But quite a few are not, and some are living on extremely tight budgets. I think it's nice to have a mix like that.</p>
<p>Regardless of whether the college is private or state, life may be easier for those who need to be frugal if they're not in a major city. Being in Boston or Washington, for example, but not being able to take advantage of the cultural and social life of the city because it's too expensive, could be very painful. In the middle of nowhere, there are fewer expensive temptations.</p>
<p>I have an ATM debit card set up a local account in my name with some (very little) my money in it. It's for in case I need CASH (all other funds go on my school's own debit system). So far, I've taken out very little and think of it as for "emergencies only." Of course, I hate spending my own money, so there you go.</p>
<p>HIMom: Funny, my spending money comes from years of unspent birthday, Christmas, etc. gifts as well!</p>
<p>Another thing that I think helps kids budget is a meal plan like that at my school. Rather than being given X number of meals, students get a certain dollar amount each week (resets Sunday morning) to spend at any number of places (more places are available on a bigger plan but even kids on the smaller of the two have 4 different options). Students are charged cash prices (no tax in MT). We have a small on-campus grocery store that sells food, drinks, hygene products, landuary detergent and so forth and every Thursday and Friday, there are a ton of kids spending their remaining meal plan money. I learned quickly to always try to budget my meal plan money throughout the week so that I can treat myself a bit on Fridays. Additionally, I like this plan because it means I never have to eat in the main dining hall (Some people like it, but I really dislike massive, buffet-style eating establishments)!</p>
<p>Wow. Can't imagine giving my ATM card to my kid! I'm not even inclined to do the co-signing a credit card thing. It's easy enough to transfer $ to his debit card electronically if need be, though he will need to move his savings account to a bank where he can get access outside of our area.</p>
<p>We told the kids a long time ago that we live within our means so they will have choices for college based on their abilities (and the luck of the draw these days), not based on $$$. They have what they need and some of what they want. As it turns out, I developed major health issues and am home, so living frugally before has kept us from going off the deep end without my income.</p>
<p>My older son's chief expenditure is to the Laundry Lady (he leaves cash in his pockets; if I find it when I do laundry, it's mine!). He gets shirts from Think Geek, and the occasional gift for friends. Heaven knows he doesn't eat! I can't imagine him eating $5000 worth of meal plan food. Otherwise, he is very low-maintenance. He was away for the summer and spent all of $40 for six weeks, most of it on a field trip to MIT where he bought a t-shirt and a PSAT practice book. (???) </p>
<p>My younger son (a freshman in HS) is more into debate, MUN, football, ski club, etc., which all involve $$$. We do "matching funds" -- if you want to do an activity that badly, you can expect to help pay for it. Funny how that helps him establish priorities! :*) And as I posted before, we expect them both to work. My younger son is already planning to get a job next summer and he knows that a significant percentage needs to go into savings.</p>
<p>What do folks do if your child is doing unpaid internship work?</p>
<p>Sax, I commend you for being willing to bare your soul. It is tough.</p>
<p>I have two Ds who get their college budget in the same format- when they move off campus, I figure they can get by on what I would ahve paid for the dorm....they can do rent, utilities, food, etc. I am hoping this will teach them to learn budgeting!! Well, DD1 , as I would have predicted made her choices such that she was always running out of money at the end of the term and ended up with a credit card bill to pay off with summer earnings. It was never enough and however much more we wanted to toss her way would have, no doubt, disappeared into the abyss.</p>
<p>DD2 is banking all her "extra" money and will likley be able to pay for a summer travel program between her leftovers and some fund-raising. </p>
<p>number of roommates, rent, having a car or not, eating out vs cheap groceries, desperate "need" for particular brand name clothes, willingness to shop around to buy & then taking time to resell books, etc. all those little choices contribute to the end result.</p>
<p>I always felt like D1 was making lame choices with her theoretical disposable income, now I have proof as I watch DD2 in action. Hmm, DD2s uni has fewer big spenders than DD1's, both are UC campuses in expensive areas, maybe D1 is just more vulnerable to the peer pressure of wanting more goodies, like those around her.</p>
<p>momnipotent:
She'll run out of money and then what? Starve? Live on the street? No. She may be a tad less comfortable - but watch how careful she is with money next year. </p>
<p>Also, lots of people (on here anyway) will say - "Oh it's a great city. See shows, concerts, go to the ballet." But you know what? Don't feel guilty if you can't or won't pay for that stuff. Those are all things a student can enjoy as an adult. College kids can have fun doing cheap stuff. Our kids do not have to do everything by the time they're 21! Just my opinion.</p>
<h1>69:
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What do folks do if your child is doing unpaid internship work?
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<p>Ours got school credit hour (1/semester which were not necessary for graduation), experience in his major (but not necessarily what he wants to do), and a great recommendation to grad school. He did get one summer of paid internship but the cost-of-living for that summer and the 2 states taxes made the economics a net loss. The payoff of that was getting into grad school.</p>
<p>If the child is doing an internship, it seems appropriate to give the child some living expenses (if the child doesn't have savings to cove them). In our case, S has significant savings that can be tapped for these expenses, of they're not used for other ed expenses. These savings are again from gifts he's received & we've invested over the years for him.</p>
<p>At some schools, students are able to get stipends for their unpaid internships to offset some of the cost. D will most likely be doing an unpaid internship this winter. the good thing is that she will be living at home , so I guess she'll get lunch money and car fare from me</p>
<p>Fortunately, there are paid internships for some fields, like engineering & computer science. USC says kids can get $20/hr or so. If unpaid, it's still great if it helps kid focus on future career and/or get into grad school.</p>
<p>If my kid got a worthwhile unpaid internship over the summer we would loan him $2000 for spending money (which is the amount he usually makes over the summer). We'd give him very good terms and expect repayment sometime after graduation. (He has no other loans.)</p>
<p>Getting paying summer work in college worries me less than during HS! (He has mad comp sci skills.) He is expected (by the school) to do research this coming summer for his senior project -- and for what he wants to do, it may or may not be paid. Depends on whether he works through a professor at a college or gets something through a gov't agency or area business. If it's a 9-5 internship with accompanying commute, he would have a difficult time getting a job in the evenings.</p>
<p>The good part to this is that he plans to submit it to the major competitions next fall, which may net him scholarship $$$/attention -- so it could "pay off" for him, just not necessarily in monetary terms. So, by the time he graduates, he may not have much in the bank. At least he has been good about saving and not spending much.</p>
<p>Then there's the precedent/equity issues of "paying" DS1 for unpaid research opportunities vs. DS2, who is less likely to go down the research road than his older brother and who knows both of them are expected to get out and get a job, and may, with some cause, feel he's getting the short end of the stick.</p>
<p>Last year my S and his roommates bought a 42" HD DLP TV. I just cringed, but it wasn't my money. He is expected to pay for books and spending money. When he moved off campus, we paid for rent, utilities, and basic food. Now that he is on co-op, he is paying his own rent and utilities with his earnings. It will be the same deal with the youngest. Except for the TV purchase, he is pretty frugal. My H had TV envy, went out and bought a bigger TV.</p>