<p>My D moves in at noon and then there is an optional dinner with family before the events begin. We’ve decided that if everyone else’s parents stay, we will too, but if they all leave we’ll grab a drink, use the restrooms and go. I don’t want her to be the only one either or without a family.</p>
<p>I didn’t even realise this sort of ‘parting ceremony’ malarky even existed!
If anything I suppose we had the opposite problem…Our daughter wanted us to to stay, wanted us to hang around, meet her room-mates, and see the campus.</p>
<p>But we had discussed the best way to go about doing this so, as agreed, we just slowed down to about 5mph, opened the door…and push!</p>
<p>She was at college!</p>
<p>Besides, we had to get to the airport for our vacation flight to Vegas…</p>
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You warned her ahead of time to roll away from the car, right?</p>
<p>Don’t do this:</p>
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<p>Talk about helicoptering…</p>
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<p>I didn’t see that in the article. What I did see was this:</p>
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<p>…which in itself was odd. This is Grinnell, as of last Friday there’s distinguished new president, doesn’t he have a name? And is this meant to be a new tradition? Some more details here would have been nice.</p>
<p>[President</a> Kington opens 1st year with Scholars’ Convocation - News | Grinnell College](<a href=“http://www.grinnell.edu/news/releases/opens-1st-year-scholars-convocation]President”>http://www.grinnell.edu/news/releases/opens-1st-year-scholars-convocation)</p>
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<p>Just about any urban campus has incentives for parents to get moving. Double parking, expiring parking meters, time limits, street-cleaning hours, etc. definitely discourage hanging around. I managed to get 2 tickets in the space of an hour in NYC. I moved the car to where the first cop directed me, and a shortly after saw a different cop writing me a ticket for being in a spot at 11:03 which became “no parking” at 11:00. I left before hitting the trifecta.</p>
<p>In my experience, most kids are more than happy to say their goodbyes quickly, though sometimes the promise of one last free meal can prolong things for an hour or so.</p>
<p>My son entered Grinnell 3 years ago and I thought the college arranged things beautifully. Parents and students had separate orientation sessions (of course, optional for parents, but we attended them all). The sessions were extremely reassuring and left lots of time for questions. The president of the college even invited parents to call him if they had concerns at any point. After an eloquent, moving speech by the dean of students that made me feel I was leaving my son in the most interesting and caring place on earth, we went outside and our students hugged us goodbye. It was just lovely and not what I would call malarky at all. We didn’t return the next day but many parents did meet their kids for breakfast. It’s not like it was forbidden, but we felt we’d said goodbye and it was best to leave our son to settle in to his new home.</p>
<p>There was nothing like this at my school. (University of Maryland College Park) Move in was spread out over several days, and there were no mandatory activities set forth by the school. (My RA had a floor meeting at 3 PM though) But at the same time I didn’t see any parents hanging around. It could have been the fact that our building of 600+ residents had 8 parking spots, but no one really lingered, and if they did, no one cared.
My school has a very hands off approach to everything.</p>
<p>People keep repeating about colleges where the ceremony includes the students turning their backs on their parents. Where is the original reference to this?</p>
<p>The only thing I see is the article from the New york Times that says that the President of Grinnell had his back to the parents when addressing the kids.</p>
<p>Well, the University of Chicago bagpipe procession through Hull Gate was well worth the “enforced” separation. Students go to convocation with their parents, walk together with their parents away from Rockefeller Chapel, led by bagpipes, and at the gates, the students head through to the cheers of upperclassmen (on the way to their Class of whatever picture) and the parents remain behind for a reception with the University big whigs. It’s a tear jerker to be sure, and repeated in reverse 4 years later when the students enter through the gates, led by pipers, to graduation. It works, we loved it…yes, upperclassmen are there with tissues for the parents. I took full advantage…twice! And to be sure, if we had so desired we could meet up with our student the next day for breakfast or whatever, but that never happened.</p>
<p>We had the move-in / orientation experience, and it seemed like too much. There was plenty of time for the students to be on their own, but then the parents kept coming back. I understand combining the two events, since it reduces the need to travel to campus during the summer, but I think if a school has orientation on move-in weekend, it needs to be quick and painless. By this point, most of our questions are answered and the big check has been sent long ago.</p>
<p>I wonder if there were some parents who “stuck around” back when we went to college? I do have emphathy for the parents who have trouble letting go, our hotel lobby had a woman who seemed to be having a particularly rough go of it. I think colleges have a right to be “firm” about asking parents to move along. I see nothing wrong with staying in town for a few days if you’ve driven for days or are in an interesting area but that is very different from “hanging” out in the kiddo’s dorm room or tagging along as they explore campus etc. I think it’s nice that colleges even have parent activities…I do not remember that from my LAC thirty some years ago or perhaps they did but parents basically dropped off and took off. I have not actually attended any of the parent orientation “stuff” for either of our boys. We schlepped the stuff to their dorm room, did the store run for stuff, took them out to dinner and for each of them that was it. They were anxiousfor us to leave so they could get on with meeting and planning and all that stuff and we were anxious to unwind without kids and all the hectic activities of the previous week. It would be nice to hear the President or someone speak about philosophy or something, or to have a cocktail or two with other parents but certainly not necessary to us and I know my husband would bail on that anyway.</p>
<p>On the Tuesday of freshman move in, Northwestern has a family and student convocation at 6:30 pm, followed by a reception with food.</p>
<p>There are also actvities the next day for parents only, which I may or may not attend. The only reason I’m staying through to Wednesday is I didn’t want to rush to the airport for a late flight back. I figure I’ll let S know that I’m there on Wednesday in case we need to make any last minute store runs, and if he wants to have a last lunch with me … or not, his choice. He will be spending his first night in the hall on Tuesday.</p>
<p>:cool: 
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<p>Oh sure…
We threw her bags out first so she had something relatively soft to land on…I saw her in the rear-view mirror, she got up and walked away fine.</p>
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I think it reveals soft-heartedness that you looked back.</p>
<p>I love how CC was mentioned in the article…</p>
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<p>Parents Forum is really gaining momentum!</p>
<p>I suppose all those hours practising martial arts finally came to some use for her.</p>
<p>I’ve always thought the Chicago ceremony sounded very sweet, but I’m fine with letting the parting moment be private too. Carnegie Mellon had a day of orientation and move-in that was aimed at parents and kids together. Then there were instructions to have a final meal with your child and make sure they got back to mandatory dorm meeting on time. (The kids had another packed week of orientation.)</p>
<p>I’ve been looking at the Tufts schedule and it looks to me like there is some sort of ceremony right after lunch on move in day, and that after that the kids go one way and the parents another.</p>
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<p>In the rear-view mirror, no less.</p>
<p>LaContra - Thanks, you made my day.</p>
<p>D1 was dropped off a week ago - Dad, D2 and I unpacked her stuff and took away the giant stack of empty boxes. D1 was required to be at a floor meeting and other events within 2 hours of unloading the car so there was barely time for her last minute Target run for snacks and eyeliner. The three of us couldn’t wait to leave - but eventually we had everything out of the boxes so the daughter and roommate could actually get through the door and collapse on their little beds after hours of meetings, ice cream socials and lazer tag - we went home to recover after our stint as “House Elves”. One week later daughter has managed to do laundry by herself and get all her electronics installed, programmed, synchronized and up and working (amidst seemingly non-stop social schedule followed by the beginning of classes). She and roommate decided to rearrange the furniture and we can only hope that within the next few weeks the room doesn’t devolve into an episode of Hoarders. If it does, I never want to know. A quick hug between her social events on move in day was the right amount of good bye time, all the orientation stuff was long past and she is making friends and moving on.</p>
<p>I dread next year - with both girls moving at the same time. Already plan to rent the Uhaul (all family vehicles were filled to the brim with stuff for D1, D2 will need more than just the roofrack). I’m thinking LaContra has a point - a nice get away weekend with the husband might be just the thing to make move in doable.</p>