<p>^^Excellent reasoning. :)</p>
<p>Except for one lovely trip to Brasil last summer, ALL our vacations have been either to visit the parents/grandparents, or to visit colleges. If you have to go someplace, you might as well have fun, right?</p>
<p>I went to an Ivy league school back in our day and it really wasn’t filled with kids whose parents had summer homes. It was mostly middle class and upper middle class kids from the Northeast. (Granted, there wer a few who were obviously very wealthy.)</p>
<p>It wasn’t so expensive to pay for school back then and the schools were giving out plenty of financial aid, even then.</p>
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<p>This resonated with me! I honestly think that if they think that parents are making too much of an ordeal about it (and sorry, those that are seem to be a tiny minority), then maybe, just maybe, it’s because the schools are making such a BFD about it.</p>
<p>You can really overdo the “ceremony” thing. We generally skipped that stuff. At both of my D’s schools, we were there late not because we wanted to be, but both times because there were glitches in the school’s computer systems (this was 10,9 years ago) and H helped get D connected up (the first time, the whole hall had been given bad instructions–while kids were at dorm meeting, H helped a bunch of other H’s get *their *kids signed up with many calls to IT–yeah, kids could do that, if they had hours to spare and programming knowledge. SEcond time–they gave D a log-in that belonged to someone else; again, H helped figure the problem out which was uber-important because she needed to register on line ASAP.)</p>
<p>So yeah, we didn’t need ceremonies. We needed better IT departments! (Four years later, when S went, things were much improved and we got out much quicker. plus, S is a computer whiz, so he wouldn’t have needed assistance.)</p>
<p>Garland,</p>
<p>We had some of those same kinds of glitches with computer networking with one of the kids. </p>
<p>Another one was supposed to be able to rent a minifridge/micro combo, for which they had run out and we scrambled all over the greater metropolitan area looking for. Since he had no car or time, we used the time we were there (the weekend) to make sure he had what he needed for basic supplies. </p>
<p>And of course, he forgot things. Surprisingly so, since he took way too much stuff in my opinion. So did his roommate, also with no car and a family across the country.</p>
<p>I definitely preferred one of the school’s methods - they offered a list of seminars parents and students could go to, with enough down time in between so that you could still run a few errands, if needed. </p>
<p>I know that some of the activities that the schools offered for students were meant to serve as ice breakers, but for those kids not interested in “forced fun”, it was too much. And felt a little fake. </p>
<p>Most students will make a ton of new friends just being on campus over the first few weeks.</p>
<p>I like the way my D’s school did orientation. She came down for a day in the summer and there were student seminars and parent seminars for most of the day. She got her ID card, registered for classes and everything. So on move-in day, there aren’t parent events (although we are free to eat on campus). We have a four-hour window to move her in, pick up her books and get out of Dodge before she goes off to do her thing.</p>
<p>zoosermom, that sounds very sane and appropriate. It would sure work for us.</p>
<p>I would be freaking out if we had less time than that. Not because I think it will take four hours to set up half of a dorm room but because I would imagine it would take longer and my anxiety would be through the roof. So I feel like we have plenty of time and can work efficiently. She already knows what activities she will do on Saturday night, so it’s all good.</p>
<p>Hi! My son is starting at UC in September as well!</p>
<p>He already went to orientation, though - he signed up for one in July and got his ID and got registered for classes. But he is living at home this year so I don’t know how different it is for students in the dorm. </p>
<p>Anyway, I am local to Cincinnati and I work at UC, so please let me know if you need info or help. :)</p>
<p>I’m getting reports from a friend who has three days of parent events associated with move in. That would drive me nuts, but she says it’s going really well. I think she and dh are dipping in and out as desired.</p>
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<p>3 days??? I would die!</p>
<p>I thought the one day thing they did at Bryn Mawr was fine, but I skipped a whole bunch of things to help D organize her room. My H tells me I didn’t miss anything important.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t think anyone forces parents to show up for these things; they are there for parents who want/need them. I have a feeling that colleges have learned that if they don’t provide some of these informational, reassuring, Q & A type things during orientation, they will be dealing with anxious parents one by one and long distance.</p>
<p>When I moved into my freshman dorm at Brandeis in 1992, my parents and nearly-13-year-old sister came along to help me. I’m pretty sure there were no orientation events for parents; if there were, I’m very sure my parents didn’t go to them. </p>
<p>On the one hand, yes, they were sending their oldest child off to college. On the other hand, college was 20 minutes away, they’d taken me to see half-a-dozen plays and concerts there during my high school years, and I’d be coming home for Rosh Hashanah in less than two weeks anyways. I honestly don’t think it was a big deal.</p>
<p>(The one who was the most helpful was actually my sister…she charmed my roommate, helped me figure out where to set up my stuff without tripping over it, and convinced me to send a lot of the books I’d brought back home with my parents. Then a bunch of fratboys who thought she was in high school hit on her in the parking lot, which was unfortunate but at least convinced my parents to drag her into the car and leave the campus very quickly. :))</p>
<p>When S1 went DH took him while I stayed home with the other 3. He had planned to help him move in, unpack and settle in, then take him and his roommate to dinner - roommate was a foreign student. DH was parked in the temporary unloading area and when they had unloaded S1 said “Bye Dad see you at a football game.” DH was kind of devastated. He had dinner by himself and came home early. S1 was ready to fly :)</p>
<p>We dropped off today- arrived at 10:30, set up by 12:15, then lunch and a trip to Target, back at 2 to set up a few more things, then to bookstore for a few things, Daughter a free bird by 3:00, we are empty nesters at 3:01!</p>
<p>My college doesn’t have anything scheduled for the parents that day - they did listen to a public speaker when we went to summer orientation but that’s it.
As soon as we are all set up (or by noon) in our dorms, they have to go!</p>
<p>Bethie–of course they can be valuable experiences, and of course no one is forced to go. I think what I find rather objectionable is the unctious condescension backed by a few oft-repeated anecdotes, implying parents in general are clueless gnomes who must be gently kicked out.</p>
<p>Fordham does a lovely job. Move in is always on Sunday for Freshmen. (Less traffic in NYC). Activities and lunch are planned and available but not necessary. Mass on the outside lawn at 500pm for those families still lingering. Then the final blessing and the kiss goodbye and Fr. President literally says, “Kiss your kids goodbye! Students head over to your small planning groups for orientation to commence! Parents, please leave now. The quicker the better.” Its all over quickly. </p>
<p>It was a long and painful drive across the George Washington Bridge and home. But it was necessary. The hard part was seeing the empty bedroom for so many weeks and feeling like we had lost her. That soon passed and we developed the New Normal. Its now Senior Year at Fordham and I can’t believe it.</p>
<p>D2 is going off this weekend to her college in Virginia. That wont be easy either, but I suspect not as tough. We know how to prepare for it this time. </p>
<p>Good luck to everyone. And students? DON"T PARTY!</p>
<p>D’s school (6 hrs from home) had a weeklong orientation for students, with a 2-day “parent” orientation at the beginning. I felt it was just right. I wouldn’t have been comfortable just dropping her off, as she didn’t know anyone at that school, and we had fun fixing up her room, and it required some off-campus last minute shopping (she did not have a car). I felt much better leaving after day 2, than if I had just dropped her off. But I have been since told by other parents that staying overnight was unheard of!</p>
<p>D’s school is 1600 miles away. On MCAD s schedule of activities, it was clear that Friday was move-in, Saturday was orientation for both parents and students and Sunday was students only. Friday night they had a BBQ for parents and kids, but by the time we got to that, D was already friends with her roommates, and not sitting with us! After we ate, we did make one trip to Target for a bookcase and wire shelving rack for the kitchen, and when we came back and asked her if she wanted help in putting it together, she announced that they were all over 18, they could figure it out, at which time we left. Saturday they had separate sessions for parents and students, with everyone having lunch together. Again, she sat with her friends. At the schedule they had 4:30 as Parents say goodbyes, and at 5 they had a van going to the grocery store (they all live in apartments, no real meal plan), and then Cosmic bowling, both activities clearly labeled as students only. We went to leave Sat night and told her to have fun and wed see her at Christmas. D says No, Ill see you tomorrow. We said, nope, Sunday was just students. She seemed a little surprised, but OK. So she walked us to the van, we gave her a hug, and we were on our way.</p>
<p>At the end of our daughter’s freshman year move-in day, the college president addressed all the freshman and their parents. It was a general “welcome” address. Then at the end, in stern words, he told the parents it was time to leave and it was important for our children that we do so.</p>