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</p>
<p>Minor??? Indeed, I think not!</p>
<p>of course Ma’am</p>
<p>;)</p>
<p>I am less surprised by frazzled’s use of the word child than I am by the idea that PARENTS are meeting with the pre-med and pre-law advisors.</p>
<p>I’ve not faced the drop off with my own kids yet, but as a professor I’ve seen it happen for the past 15+ years. When I was a student myself-- mid-1980s --the last thing any of us wanted was to see our parents on campus. I was taken to college by friends…said goodbye to my parents when they left for work that morning. </p>
<p>The hidden costs of velcro parenting are huge though. Not only are there the emotional costs to the students, but the costs to the institution can be staggering. For those who complain about high tuition, have you considered the cost of adding multi-day “parent orientation” programs? Or of all the hours of professional advising and/or faculty time that are expended talking with parents who should really be letting their kids make their own choices?</p>
<p>I may feel differently about drop-off when it does come time to send my kids away (I expect they’ll be getting on a plane though). But from my professional perspective the extended parenting of the last 10+ years has really gotten out of hand. Drop-off is one important opportunity for both families and colleges to start marking the boundary between “child” and “college student” more clearly.</p>
<p>-kiwanda</p>
<p>kiwanda, I was thinking of about all of those “hidden costs”. While participating in a parent orientation, the costs were not so hidden. I did the math. All food for parents, grandparents, sibs, cousins, boy/girlfriends, and any other person with a connection to the incoming freshman was invited! 5 meals were served to all who wanted to join in on the orientation! I don’t know that professors were paid more to participate than their regular salary, as full time professors were the ones meeting with parents.</p>
<p>I found the orientation so well run, so worthwhile, and I am willing to pay for it. I do think that there should be a limit set as far as the complimentary meals offered to perhaps 2 guests per student. I guess this just rubs people the wrong way, because the school elected not to do that.</p>
<p>There is many other ways schools spend money that hikes the tuition costs (ie: marketing to prospective students with endless mailings as well as give away items like t-shirts, pens, car decals, etc.).</p>
<p>Arrived at 8:30 am; waited in line; chatted with another family who lived one county over from us, which was almost 2,700 miles away from the school; lugged his stuff up three flights of stairs into a non air-conditioned room; unpacked; set up dorm room; met his roommate and his family; picked-up sheets; paid for the athletic pass; ate lunch; did the Target thing; said goodbye; went on vacation for the next week; learned not to go to the California desert at the end of August; prepared ourselves emotionally for the I am unhappy, I don’t know anyone, I hate this place telephone calls; get these calls; go back 2,700 miles to Parents Weekend in October; bring him home for a weekend in early November; tell him that he could transfer to the state flagship if he wishes but that he has to do the paperwork himself and finish out the academic year; everything is fine after that.</p>
<p>Kiwanda and northeastmom:</p>
<p>I think one of the reasons for the extended parenting is the extraordinary high cost of today’s college education. Parents are insisting that they get the most out of their investment. When a college costs $200,000 over four years, and realistically only a small portion of that can be attributed to meeting the needs of parents, you better be darn well assured that parents are going to be paying very close attention to everything that is is going on.</p>
<p>Kiwanda,
My D’s school solved the cost problem for orientation; they charged for it. Most of the special sessions for parents took place on orientation days during the summer before move-in day. While students took placement tests, met with advisors, got id cards, etc, parents went to their own special seminars (the many ways you can pay us, here’s how you can support your freshmen (send money), organizing fund-raising for the school in your home town.)</p>
<p>The school billed my daughter and myself each for orientation. There were no food freebies. Somehow I don’t think orientation sessions are driving up the cost of tuition.</p>
<p>tsdad, agreed, and this is true even if parents are not paying full sticker prices. I found it worthwhile and I am willing to pay for it.</p>
<p>yorkyfan, is your D at attending a public university?</p>
<p>My employer charges for the summer orientation programs. As far as I know there is nothing during drop off for parents although there are lots of fun things for the new students. We had to pay for the post-acceptance orientation at my son’s school plus plane fare, food, and the hotel. There was nothing special for parents during drop off.</p>
<p>D3’s [private] school also charges parents for orientation (and adds what they call a “voluntary” contribution to the parent association to the bill each year - you can get this removed if you want to be the jerk who calls the office to ask). S and D2 also applied there - before the economy went south - and both their classes of prospies and parents were wined and dined lavishly. By the time D3 applied, there were no more free lunches and she had to fall to her knees to shadow a current student after she was accepted. Times change.</p>
<p>I like how the University at Buffalo does it. Move-in takes place Thursday through Sunday freshmen arrive on Thursday and Friday, returning students by Sunday. A welcome ceremony and various open house events for the parents took place on Friday, while the student-oriented events were on Saturday. There was nothing special going on for the parents on Saturday, but there was no one there kicking you off the campus, either.</p>
<p>D3’s [private] school also charges parents for orientation (and adds what they call a “voluntary” contribution to the parent association to the bill each year - you can get this removed if you want to be the jerk who calls the office to ask).</p>
<p>Wow…judgmental much? Perhaps a parent chooses to forgo the “voluntary” donation due to financial hardship. Does this still qualify them as a “jerk”?</p>
<p>shellz - sorry if you were offended. I merely meant that I would feel like a jerk calling to ask to have the fee removed. I do find it a little pushy that the school automatically bills me for something but calls it voluntary.</p>
<p>One of my kids’ colleges also has a health fee that you have to call to have removed. It’s a little confusing, though…there are essentially two fees. One for the mandatory health fee that covers clinic visits and the other one is optional for those without insurance.</p>
<p>The first year I didn’t catch it on the itemized statement. Last year I called and asked, and they told me. It was several hundred dollars and basically covered nothing worthwhile for my son.</p>
<p>stradmom-
that’s actually a huge pet peeve of mine…“voluntary” but not REALLY.</p>
<p>Just came back from dropping off my daughter at MIT, and what a wonderful time MIT provided to students and families. President’s Hockfield’s convocation and welcome was just warm and stimulating. MIT just made the families feel welcome with tons of social events and information sessions. We got to know how the students will engage on research, how to get around Boston, we had jazz night, health sessions, pre-professional meetings and much more. AMAZING! This is MIT! Nobody gave us their back, or asked us to leave. Things just ended naturally. THANK YOU MIT for a wonderful family orientation weekend!</p>
<p>Goodfit–that sounds perfect! Everyone is treated like mature adults. Good for MIT.</p>
<p>My son is a high school senior this year and we are in the process of applying to colleges. I have been reading this post and have my “heart in my hand”! We have an only “child” and I shudder to think of life after he goes to college. I have generally seen posts by parents of 2 or more children here and was wondering if there were any “single child syndrome” affected parents and know how they are coping. You all can rest assured that I will frequently need all of your pep talk to survive, come 2011 August!</p>