<p>Whatever, I totally am special.</p>
<p>I assumed that’s what all those standardized tests in high school were for…</p>
<p>Honestly if people my age want to act like the world owes them, better for me. I’ll keep teetering on the line between confident and arrogant :)</p>
<p>I remember the “Don’t trust anybody over 30” crowd as being pretty full of themselves as well.</p>
<p>I have a friend who’s a college biology professor. When kids come into his office because they’re doing poorly in his class, they almost always look really stunned and say something like, “But I’m really good at science!” My college student definitely thinks of herself more highly than she ought and I’ve been unsuccessful at breaking that flawed perception. She can admit that she’s not as good at various x endeavors as y people, but still maintains an image of general superiority, facts notwithstanding. Lucky for her she IS pretty good at many things, but her inflated self-esteem leads her to trust too much in the idea that people will simply recognize she’s wonderful when she should be working hard to prove she’s wonderful.</p>
<p>Secondly, the blame doesn’t only belong to parents. I’m a parent who fights a losing battle with coaches and teachers who tell my child she’s great when she isn’t. Just this weekend my D performed below her ability in a track race. Among the things she did was to break a basic rule about how to race that only beginners break, and she’s not a beginner. I told her it was not a good race, and explained why. She argued with me, and gave tearful excuses, but I did not back down. The coach went ballistic on me, but then their standard line is “good job!” I know he and other parents think I’m mean. But lo and behold, D got her act together and her second race of the day was much, much better and so I praised her for that. Note that it still wasn’t objectively “good” compared to her peers and the times run that day, but it more closely approximated what she’s capable of. So my point is that even the idea of critiquing a child’s performance relative to his/her own proven ability is considered mean.</p>
<p>Third, regarding feelings of entitlement and failed relationships: Also just yesterday, my college D reported that one of the most talented young runners she knows just quit her college team because she felt the training did not cater enough to her personally, and she didn’t really like listening to the college coach. Now I happen to know the girl’s coach is top notch and knows his stuff, but in high school she was probably used to being the one and only star with daddy as her private coach. Now that she’s one of many stars, she’s unhappy. She really is a phenomenal talent, but surely she should have realized that she would be on a team and would need to do what the team does? There was a similar case on D’s own team too. One of the brightest running talents quit after her first year. Had been coached by her mom and didn’t like the university team structure. Too much self-esteem leads kids to believe the world will and should revolve around them. When it doesn’t, they can’t hack it.</p>
<p>Maybe some people return home after college not as a crutch but as a result of a job search.</p>
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<p>Perhaps. If one of my kids was going to return to our home area to find employment we’d probably invite him stay with us for up to 6 months. My parents “invited” me to come home for a few months after I graduated from college, but I was interested in going to another part of the country as soon as I could so only went home for a couple weeks after graduation. But in general our kids know that they need to strike out on their own after college.</p>
<p>It’s outrageous that our inferiors no longer recognize their proper place in society.</p>
<p>Sheesh.</p>
<p>Even though SAT scores have fallen, this generation of college students has passed through a gamut of state NCLB tests. The cut scores for those state tests don’t correlate with SAT scores. They may have received years of test results certifying they’re “above average.” </p>
<p>Would anyone reading this forum be happy if their daughter planned to drop out of high school or college to get married? Or is the default plan college, grad school, and career before marriage? I submit that we are raising our daughters very differently than earlier generations. Young women are encouraged to think of their career paths first, which may correlate with “narcissism” on surveys. Women are 50% of the population. Any change in the average college woman’s outlook on life will have a significant effect on large-scale surveys. I’m not convinced it’s a bad thing; it’s just different.</p>
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This is consistent with my point about inferiors no longer knowing their place. (sarcasm)</p>
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<p>Regarding dropping out of college, it would depend on who she was marrying and the family he came from. In the 1950s it was not uncommon for women to quit for this reason. Some regretted it and others did not.</p>
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<p>I’ve seen enough divorces in affluent families to say I wouldn’t jump for joy. It’s very hard to complete a college degree as a single mother with children.</p>
<p>Bemoaning the failings of the youths by old folks has been a sport since the time of Socrates and Plato.</p>
<p>Surprise! Surprise!</p>
<p>GMTplus7 said
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<p>DH and his cohorts dubbed this the “Care Bear Generation”.</p>
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<p>I got participation trophies all the time. I did not think they meant anything besides the fact I participated, because I was not stupid.</p>
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<p>Agreed. The younger generations may not be perfect, but the older generations were certainly no saints judging by what I’ve read in history books, archived news items, and honest forthright members of older generations themselves. </p>
<p>For instance, drug usage was much greater among HS/college aged kids during the '60s and '70s than it was in my generation(latter Gen X) or moreso…the millenials. And contrary to conventional wisdom…wasn’t necessarily just limited to members of the counterculture. </p>
<p>Moreover, alcohol usage and smoking was much more widespread and accepted in more venues…including college classrooms than it is now. </p>
<p>Another thing to consider, older generations forgot how up until the mid-1970’s, the public colleges…including some topflight ones were free or nearly so and even private colleges were affordable enough that one can feasibly work their way through without parental assistance/loans. </p>
<p>Nowadays, that’s not usually possible even if one’s an in-stater in some state colleges…especially after 2008.</p>
<p>“Inflated confidence.” This is really funny.</p>
<p>Today, many students will say that it’s 99% inspiration, 1% perspiration as opposed to the old saying.</p>
<p>I had a violin teacher who always told me that everything I did was wonderful, but it wasn’t, and I knew it. I appreciate instructors who constructively criticize my work (note that I’ve had some who were just downright mean and refused to be supportive) because that method helps me identify the positives and negatives. </p>
<p>I’m currently toying the idea of starting a business venture with my mom. I also have some business in development with my dad. My friends don’t get it; why am I spending my college years working so hard when I don’t have to? Well, guys, I have to. Opportunities don’t last forever, and I want to make sure I keep the door open while my foot’s jammed inside.</p>
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<p>^ this.</p>
<p>I’m not shocked to see the Daily Mail engaging in sensationalist reporting. As Belisasky posted, this is the paper from which they concluded that college students are self-infatuated narcissists obsessed with their own ‘specialness’:</p>
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<p>Nothing about thinking they’re infallible. Nothing about deserving anything because of a participation trophy. In fact, there’s not a thing about entitlement listed up there, even though it’s in the title of the article. This is about students feeling positively about themselves and their accomplishments. Interestingly, there’s a thread on the same page about [students</a> who feel positively day to day](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1442332-study-happy-teens-will-earn-more-later.html]students”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1442332-study-happy-teens-will-earn-more-later.html) being more successful. The Mail’s conclusions are deliberately misrepresented and weakly connected to the source paper at best. The question “does your child think s/he is special” seems pretty far disconnected from a survey about students rating their competency in attributes pertaining to their education/success in general. </p>
<p>It’s disappointing to see so many people jumping to think the worst about college students (and, further, to condemn them for daring to feel good about themselves) on a site that is fundamentally about college students.</p>
<p>I’ll be the first to admit my generation is very coddled.</p>
<p>Correlated with grade inflation? <em>snorts</em> My grades are based on how well I did on teats, quizzes, and homework. The teachers don’t add extra points out of no where.</p>