<p>I wish some ladies would throw some lures at S.</p>
<p>Ahh--SEX. Brings out a lot of deep feelings.</p>
<p>Those who are pursued have the "choice" to be picky. Those who are not pursued resent that. </p>
<p>Girls can get action, but not always intimacy. Some boys don't seem to be able to get anything.</p>
<p>And "they" say that these years are the best of a person's life.</p>
<p>thisoldman, what about guys throwing lures at your (hypothetical) daughter?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Some girls have been dressing like hookers at least since I was in high school in the early 70s. I give you Dolfin shorts, tube tops, bare midriffs, and mini skirts as examples. And unless my senility is increasing exponentially, I don't recall any shortage of casual s<em>x</em>*l activity on my (nerdy) college campus.</p>
<p>I was in a school uniform in the early 70's: navy blue jumper, collared shirt, and navy or gray knee socks. Perhaps that's why I didn't have a boyfriend until college!</p>
<p>(What are Dolfin shorts?)</p>
<p>Did anyone else hear the piece on NPR about the "man child"?</p>
<p>
[quote]
In a recent op-ed, Kay Hymowitz argues that it's time for 20- and 30-year-old guys to put down the Xbox controller and grow up.</p>
<p>It wasn't long ago, Hymowitz says, that the average man in his mid-20s had achieved many of life's major milestones — he had a job, a marriage, perhaps even kids and a house.</p>
<p>Today's mid-20something male "lingers happily," Hymowitz writes, "in a new hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance."
[/quote]
</p>
<p>So apparently the popularity of video gaming is partly to blame, or at least a symptom of young men enjoying their lack of responsibility.</p>
<p>Full story:
NPR:</a> Young Men Stuck in Adolescent-Adult Limbo</p>
<p>As for Dolfin Shorts, here's an eyeful for you:
Dolfin</a> Shorts in Action</p>
<p>^^^Hmm. It is amazing what I learn here. </p>
<p>In the 80s I lived where it is pretty cold, and I don't think too many people were running around in Dolfin shorts. Or maybe I was just stuck in the lab all the time. Anyway, I never heard the term.</p>
<p>Not sure exactly what Dolfin shorts are, but I imagine I probably wore them in college! One of H's fraternity brothers used to sunbathe on their lawn in his leopard bikini underwear. We had a halter top/tube top dance every spring. We had a Hawaiian Party every fall, where the motto was "We lei cheap." Beer was free, mixed drinks were almost free, and the drinking age was 18. All the ingredients were there for hook-ups, and they definitely did happen.</p>
<p>But we also had many strong dating relationships at my small, nerdy school. We didn't actually go on dates ... we were all too poor! ... but we were known as "couples." This is what I think some are saying seems to be missing these days, for whatever reason.</p>
<p>My D attends a school where hooking up is not the norm. The culture is such that a good number of students marry their classmates. Hooking up is just not acceptable (although it happens). </p>
<p>My D has never been into the dating scene, for whatever reason. She is smart, pretty, kind, etc. The opportunity just hasn't presented itself (at least in the form of someone who interests her). I know that she is quite partial to male singers with amazing voices ... maybe she's waiting for that opportunity! :)</p>
<p>On my college campus, I see long-term relationships, long-distance relationships, dating with an aim toward a future relationship, friends with benefits, random hook-ups (anything from making out to sex), people who want a relationship, people who want to hook-up, and people who don't really care about any of it. There are some girls who dress in as little clothing as possible; most girls just want to look good when going out, which I doubt is anything new. </p>
<p>It all seems pretty normal to me. Maybe casual sex is more socially acceptable now and/or more talked about, but I'm pretty sure it's always existed. Relationships still happen today, too, but keep in mind that not everybody wants the responsibility, intimacy, or commitment of a relationship.</p>
<p>
[quote]
So apparently the popularity of video gaming is partly to blame, or at least a symptom of young men enjoying their lack of responsibility.
[/quote]
</p>
<p><em>yawn</em> What a bunch of crap. All the gamers I know who have graduated from college have jobs, and several of them are married or engaged. I'm so sick of the negative stereotypes about gamers that are perpetuated on this board and in society in general. Being a gamer doesn't make you adolescent any more than liking to watch movies.</p>
<p>I also don't see anything wrong with not having a marriage, kids, or a house by your mid-20s, or for that matter, never having them (a job is another matter). That's a lifestyle choice, and a perfectly valid one. Not everyone wants marriage, a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, and two kids.</p>
<p>Anyway, back on topic: I've heard this idea before that these days, college students don't have relationships, just hook-ups. I didn't see this. Hook-ups happen quite a lot, of course, but there was no shortage of people in relationships, and people of all genders looking for relationships, in my college world.</p>
<p>Dolfin shorts were teeny-short things that were (in Southern California anyway) worn about two sizes smaller than mom would like. They exposed more than they covered. Of course, worn in a size that fit they were just sports shorts, but that's not the way they were worn in the early 80's. </p>
<p>The Internet being what it is you could Google on "dolfin shorts 1982" and probably get a picture or two. <pause> Yep, it worked.</pause></p>
<p>D, who recently split w/ BF of 2 1/2 years, complains of hook-up culture on campus. Lots of guys talking to her and other expressions of interest, but pretty much all aimed at getting her into bed. So for now, I guess she's sexually sidelined - - but still looking for (the next) love of her life.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Honest, there was no shortage of this on campus thirty years ago, and I doubt there was a shortage fifty years ago.</p>
<p>^^^yep. we just didn't have a special name for it! It was pretty darn common.</p>
<p>WashDad said:</p>
<p>
[quote]
Honest, there was no shortage of this on campus thirty years ago, and I doubt there was a shortage fifty years ago.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I can testify to 40 years ago. And, this willingness to "hook up" by the girls and do the "walk of shame" was also there back then. In fact, the idea that it is a walk "of shame" seems to be a relatively "new" twist. </p>
<p>Most age-contemporanious women I have asked, acknowledged that college was a time for sexual experimentation, including what was called "one night stands."</p>
<p>"walk of shame?" I missed this. Please explain.</p>
<p>Girl leaves her dorm dressed to "go out." The **following morning **she walks back to her dorm in the same "going out" clothes. People notice and it is called "the walk of shame." Supposedly, this is something girls really get into to "classify" each other.</p>
<p>I'm hearing that "sexual experimentation and one night stands", is more from our generation. Kids seem to be in long term -monogamous relations more often than we were.
My kids don't talk to me about this- but the info was passed along by friend whose d just graduated college.</p>
<p>When my friend asked why her d just didn't date more guys, she kind of responded that casual dating is often interpretted as "slutty" behavior (for lack of better term).
who knew??</p>
<p>Sorry, the Walk of Shame has been around forever, too. The name has never been taken seriously, as far as I know -- always a little ironic, said with a giggle. The Walk of "Shame".</p>
<p>I want to go back to something someone (mythmom?) said early in this thread -- about how no one wants any kind of commitment, even short-term, when they are all getting ready to graduate and go off to something else. That's almost 180 degrees from what I remember of my college senior year spring. There was practically an epidemic of nesting. I barely saw my best friend, because he was holed up having kinky sex with a brand new girlfriend, or my 2d-7th best friends, who were stuck to their boy-/girlfriends (in a few cases relatively new). Lots of couples-of-convenience formed, like one-month stands.</p>
<p>I don't remember when it began, though. Probably not January, when we were all desperately working on our senior theses. More like March, when it began to get warm, grad school acceptances started coming in, and there was nothing we could do academically to change anything.</p>
<p>That didn't happen to me, exactly. But -- about a week before my graduation, and the night before she was leaving town to visit her significant other elsewhere -- I was returning some books to a friend and saying goodbye to her forever, and I decided to tell her how sad I was that we had never gotten together romantically. (So sad, in fact, that I had chosen to go to grad school 3,000 miles, rather than three blocks, away.) Her jaw dropped a little, she said, "It's not entirely unreciprocated," and 30 years later our oldest child is that age.</p>
<p>So . . . maybe things have really changed, but maybe not, and maybe there's still hope for 8th-semester seniors.</p>
<p>Thanks, 07DAD. My first response was "For pity sake!" (now, how OLD does that sound?) It's not that I'm wildly endorsing lots of casual sex, it's just that I think it's too bad that so much judging and categorizing takes place.</p>