stupid but funny

[Kaye93]

<br>

@""

<p>Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.</p>

<p>Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.</p>

<p>Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.</p>

<p>Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.</p>

<p>Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.</p>

<p>Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.</p>

<p>Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.</p>

<p>EVER WONDER ....</p>

<p>Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?</p>

<p>Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?</p>

<p>Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?</p>

<p>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?</p>

<p>Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?</p>

<p>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?</p>

<p>Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?</p>

<p>Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?</p>

<p>Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?</p>

<p>Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?</p>

<p>Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?</p>

<p>You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!</p>

<p>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?</p>

<p>Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?</p>

<p>If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?</p>

<p>If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?</p>

<br>

[Easy]

<p>Ah damn when I saw Kaye93 and the thread title I thought this was going to be a “describe yourself in a phrase”-type thread.</p>

[GoldShadow]

<p>I see someone’s discovered a 15-year old chain letter with jokes in it (or a humor website) for the first time.</p>

[diesel]

<p>stupid, but stupid…</p>

[lisieux]

<p>Kaye93, 75 posts, 46 threads, wow.</p>

[chuy]

<p>Fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd "ChEcK tHiS oUt So FuNnY bUt sO tRuE1!1!</p>

[Pistolen08]

<p>

Only in America …do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

For privacy reasons. Others countries don’t have HIPAA.</p>

<p>

Only in America …do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

I don’t understand the door thing, but the clerks would have to keep replacing the pens because people would keep taking them.</p>

<p>

Only in America …do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Cars can get wet if it rains. Our “junk” in boxes would be ruined if it were to get wet. It is also more convenient to keep our car in the driveway because we don’t have to open the garage door to get out etc…</p>

<p>

Only in America …do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Other countries don’t have the ADA.</p>

<p>

Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Because they are fake.</p>

<p>

Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Because doctors can’t learn real world clinical experience from medical school. What makes a good doctor is experience.</p>

<p>

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because everyone is rushing to get home from work.</p>

<p>

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Because cats only like chasing and catching the mouse for fun. They never actually eat the mouse once he’s dead.</p>

<p>

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Because that would destroy the entire food chain.</p>

<p>

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Because it would weigh too much, and the plane wouldn’t fly.</p>

<p>meh… I’m too lazy to do the rest.</p>

[diesel]

<p>the braille thing on atm’s is because it’s cheaper to make the same keypad for all of them, then make specific ones with out braille for the drive through versions…</p>

[wraider2006]

<p>You guys are harsh.</p>

[b_r_um]

<p>Pistolen08, I guess you have never had a cat vomit the remainder of a mouse on your carpet. Cats don’t eat every single mouse they catch, but they do eat some.</p>

[lethargytm]

<p>Only in America …do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process</p>

<br>

@""

<p>so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking
creatures’..</p>

<br>

<p>Totally inaccurate. Politics is the word from Polis for greek, meaning city. the word pollicitus, which is in latin, means offer/promise. polliceor would be the verb form: to offer/ to promise. AND ITS SPELLED POLY for many.</p>

<p>Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
because it shrinks when you dry it in heat (unnaturally high)</p>

<br>

@""

<p>Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
cruel and unusual punishment clause.</p>

<br>

<p>Why the sun lightens our hair,</p>

<br>

@""

<p>but darkens our skin ?
our skin has pigments in them, when they are hit with sunlight they darken. this is a defense system our body has evolved to protect us from uv radiation.</p>

<br>

<p>i can talk about this crap all day with all the questions.</p>