<p>I've just heard that a friend of my son won't be returning to his college this year because of the wild drinking and partying in his substance-free dorm. He believes these kids were signed up for sub-free by their controlling parents and that the kids were rebelling. Call me naive, but it had never occurred to me that parents would do this (or fill out the roommate form, pick their kids classes, etc.). I'm wondering how widespread this is. Are others hearing that the sub-free dorms could turn out to be the wildest on campus?</p>
<p>Some of my schools biggest partiers are in sub-free by parental force. They think that if their kids aren't living with kids who may be drinking, then they won't drink. Agreeing to sub-free is sometimes the only way that parents will write the tuition check. I willingly wanted sub-free, but didn't get it because of my requested roommate. Living sub-free in a regular dorm isn't hard if it's actually what you want, but there are people in the sub-free dorms who don't want it, and they can make life miserable on those who do.</p>
<p>Some people sign up for it b/c of health issues like asthma. They don't necessarily want to stay away from drinking and parties, but perhaps want to avoid smoke. Also, some sign up for this b/c they know that they will have A/C (at the school my son attends this is true, b/c you know that this is an air conditioned dorm, and you cannot choose between other dorm options as a freshman). Just my thoughts on this subject. Lastly, yes, I would think that some controlling parents sign their kids up for the substance free dorm.</p>
<p>Hmmmm . . . </p>
<p>I only know one kid in a substance-free dorm, and she insisted on it over her parents' skepticism (they were afraid it would limit her socially, they always expected her to fall off the wagon at some point). She had a great, substance-free time, no hint of the problem identified by the OP. And this at a famous "work hard / play hard" school.</p>
<p>Oh, I think that there are many kids who choose substance free b/c they sincerely want that. I was just thinking about other reasons that students pick that dorm. Also, my S and I noticed that some students at his school pick substance free, at least in part, for religious reasons.</p>
<p>Frankly, you are not supposed to smoke in a dorm, and you are not supposed to drink under 21, other drugs are not legal, so why does this type of dorm really exist?</p>
<p>Another thing I've heard of is kids picking the substance free dorms so that they can have somewhere quiet to come back to—after a night of wild parting. So even if they don't party in the dorm, they still come back to the dorm intoxicated…not exactly the environment someone who actually wants to be surrounded by substance free people is looking for, I would guess!</p>
<p>I like what goes on at my school. We don't even have a substance free dorm, just a substance free hall, but one of the program houses is Well Being House. You have to apply to program houses and they are mostly run by students, so people don't end up in Well Being House unless they are actually committed to a substance free lifestyle. (This is also cool because program house, including Well Being House, throw events. For example, on 4/20 well being house had a subtabce free dance/smoothie making party, which is another nice way to support people who want to be substance free, even if they don't specifically live in substance free housing).</p>
<p>I'm just curious, what nomenclature do they use to distinguish the "substance-pro" dorms? :S</p>
<p>my daughter attended a small college- smaller than her sisters high school, which is still smaller than some suburban high schools.</p>
<p>We discussed dorms- they had lots to choose from- she knew that she needed quiet to study.
Both subfree and quiet dorms we focused on, but decided that a subfree dorm, would probably be quieter all the time, than a dorm where students had to get quiet after 10pm.
zero tolerance is easier to enforce than partial.
The students in her dorm that chose sub free, I had the impression they took it seriously. At the begining of the year freshmen year, there might have been two people who were there inadvertently, but after other rooms opened up, one moved out & one chose to stay ( the dorm had about 28 students)</p>
<p>It was a good experience- she also chose to stay in subfree for two more years. She also had a single room for those three years which increased her ability to focus without interruptions.</p>
<p>Im sure it depends on the college, but for instance when I came to visit and was going to make clam spaghetti for D and her friends for dinner, ( I use white wine in the sauce), my D made us relocate to the Chinese house, so as not to have the verboten alcohol under the dorm roof.</p>
<p>Im thinking that if I felt I had to insist on subfree because I wasn't confident of my childs ability to participate in college without restrictions, I would probably instead support another gap year, so I could have a closer eye on them. ;)</p>
<p>However- if either of them was leaning toward a very large school- that had a "reputation", I would encourage them to find a place where they could meet others without substances</p>
<p>*what nomenclature do they use to distinguish the "substance-pro" dorms? *</p>
<p>I think that would be the "cocaine" dorm, they don't mince words.</p>
<p>At my S's big state u the majority of the dorms advertise themselves as substance free. Just because it's sub free doesn't mean he kids who live there won't party. They do. S lived across from the hall bathroom his freshman year and found the "results" of the previous night's partying on the floor outside his door many weekend mornings.</p>
<p>jhs said
[quote]
I only know one kid in a substance-free dorm, and she insisted on it over her parents' skepticism (they were afraid it would limit her socially, they always expected her to fall off the wagon at some point). She had a great, substance-free time, no hint of the problem identified by the OP. And this at a famous "work hard / play hard" school.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>sounds exactly like my daughter's experience -- she had a great year with interesting people and has chosen sub-free again for next year. She likes to go out dancing with friends who have a glass or two, then come home to a neat, clean, fresh-smelling dorm.</p>
<p>I'd say that about half of the kids that I know who signed up for substance free my freshman year did it under parental urging, and none of them remained substance free. It worked out because they were with roommates who did the same thing.</p>
<p>ec1234 -- when you say none remained substance free, do you mean they brought drugs and/or alcohol into the dorm, or do you mean the kids from subfree partied outside?</p>
<p>My son signed up himself for a substance free dorm ( it was actually substance free floor) freshman year. Sophomore year he decided that there is no need to do it again, because according to him "most dorms are substance free" anyway. The partying happened mostly on Friday and Saturday nights. Sunday evenings, the dorms are so quiet, because the students are all busy preparing for the next week- substance free or not. I can attest to this since we have gone to visit him some Sundays.
He also goes to a work hard, play hard school in the midwest.</p>
<p>I was curious about this topic, too, so posted a thread a few months ago in the college cafe, identifying myself as a parent and just collected everyone's thoughts and experiences.
Basically, the consensus was that if your kid chooses it, full-heartedly believing it'll be that way, there are reasons to be disappointed, possibly explaining OP's friend's son's experience:</p>
<p>1.Some schools just run out of rooms and cram people into the sub-free rooms who never asked for it.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Kids are just out of rehab (!) and this is the only way the parents agree to send them to college at all. When they arrive on campus, they regress.</p></li>
<li><p>Kids lie because their parents are watching them fill out the forms (that was said often...). </p></li>
<li><p>There was a feeling among those who replied that there's a "stigma" to these dorms. Kids who didn't choose them weren't necessarily crazy partiers, but feared that anyone who'd sign up for such a place might be intolerant, a religious freak, judgmental or rigid as a personality. Most said they'd rather handle messiness or substance issues than risk being with a complete prig.
I don't agree with that perception; am just describing what the students said on that thread.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Following that, I didn't press on my own S to sign up that way. Since he'll be in a tripled double (all freshman; housing shortage there), I'm concerned but he'll have to deal with it. Just hoping for some luck.</p>
<p>"what nomenclature do they use to distinguish the "substance-pro" dorms? "</p>
<p>At my son's school, that would be the "Farm House."</p>
<p>People were signing up for sub-free housing at my oldest son's school because they were the best rooms. The students didn't necessarily stay sub free. Res Life switched that up to cut down on that.</p>
<p>There were kids that elected to be there, whether to be away from the party oriented kids, or religious reasons, or they had problems before, or yes, at a parent's urging. My son was of the opinion that it has less sub, but was definitely not sub free.</p>
<p>some of both. The kids who brought it into the room had suitemates who had the same predicament. Not to say that none of them came back drunk or whatever. But they didn't have parties in their room or anything.</p>
<p>My son signed up for sub-ree (there were 2 floors at his school) and didnt regret it, just said his floor was quiet (unless you count the music). He heard that at the other sub-free dorm, students would come back intoxicated sometimes, but all and all, if you complain, they are quick to act on it (and sometimes when you don't) but most of the time it doesn't bother anyone unless it's done all the time. He also didn't want a smoker because of allergies (even having the clothes reeking in a small room is hard) and many "cheat" in the winter and try to not go outdoors.
For him, it was okay, but having kids forced there doesn't make a cohesive environment and ususally doesn't work. Next year, he said he knows what dorms to avoid and wouldn't need it. As long as your roommate is okay with it and your dorm isn't the "party dorm", you can usually find a good compromise.</p>
<p>Our daughter decided not to sign up for substance free. She was told there was more of a chance of being in a triple if you signed up for it. We will see how good that advice was.</p>