<p>cmbmom, that is such a strange policy! What are they thinking, that the substance-using kids need the extra space in the dorm room to house their bongs, bottles, etc?? Or maybe sub-free kids are skinnier?</p>
<p>I'm sure the policy varies at different colleges, but D has a single in the subfree dorm.</p>
<p>It probably has to do with how crunched the school is for housing, how many dorms or floors have been set aside for sub-free housing, and how many students end up applying for sub free housing. I know that both of my sons have encountered the "triple threat" at their schools, the younger had a triple his freshman year in a regular dorm. One school is redoing a dormitory, and one school had a larger yield than expected for two years. If there is one dorm for sub free housing allocated, and a dorm full plus a few that apply, the offer to share a triple may be better for some students than going to the regular dorm. </p>
<p>I don't think not getting the sub free housing is the end of the world. Students who are truly miserable matches for their roommate for whatever reason can still apply to move to another room or dorm. It is, after all, a dorm living situation. I've seen posts from kids that want to know exactly how loud it is, and can they go to bed at 8 pm in complete darkness and quiet, and should they bring a white noise machine etc...It sounds like they have already decided there will be no give and take, and that the room will operate just as their room at home operates. What it comes down to is being able to negotiate the space with your roommate. ( And yes, I do realize there are some inflexible kids out there who won't.) Back in the day, my roommate and I agreed that there would be no overnight boyfriends in the room (getting sexorcised I think is the current term) and no items that would get us kicked out of school housing.</p>
<p>Now I'm not saying that a student should put up with extreme conditions that keep them from being comfortable, studying and sleeping, but at some point you have to compromise a little if you are going to share a room in a dorm. I remember one son referring to a dorm resident as "headphones guy" because this student was never seen without them. I guess it was their coping mechanism.</p>
<p>It does seem that like minded students tend to gravitate towards each other after the first year of random placement. More housing options become available such as Greek Houses, special interest houses, apartments and so forth.</p>
<p>
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I remember one son referring to a dorm resident as "headphones guy" because this student was never seen without them.
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</p>
<p>My son roomed with that guy one semester! </p>
<p>I was (slightly) honored that he took off the headphones for a full 15 seconds to say hi when my son introduced him to me.</p>
<p>I bet there are many who belong to the headphones clan! My son ticked the "stays up late" box on his questionnaire and got a roommate he termed as nocturnal!</p>
<p>Back to the sub-free issue, I also remember him saying that some of the sub free people would go party elsewhere. So, sub-free doesn't necessarily mean sub-free lifestyle, just not in the dorm room/dorm. Again, this goes back to being tolerant of those with different lifestyles as long as the dorm space remains comfortable for both.</p>
<p>D chose sub-free freshman year, even tho I was worried that she wouldn't meet many people. They had to sign a contract, and enforced it rigorously. D didn't party, and neither did any of her friends. It worked out well. Her rationale was that she didn't want to clean up after someone else, when they wouldn't have to clean up after her. Those kids didn't drink outside the dorm, either. Soph year, she and her friends all got into the same dorm, and even tho it wasn't sub-free, they made their corner of the world so, because they wanted to be in a theme dorm. It was a great experience, again. Next year, study abroad (all her friends are going to different countries), and no such options, but her friends and she are already talking about senior year and where they want to live together. No sub-free, but they again will turn their corner of the dorm into one. It depends on the kids, and it really doesn't matter where they live, altho with D, she met many like-minded kids her freshman year, and they are still friends. And this is at a school that has a party rep. D works security and has had to send kids to the hospital (after training) for alcohol poisoning.</p>
<p>I lived in sub-free at my school freshmen year, and most of the kids wanted to be there. However, like some previous people said, sub-free meant no substances in the dorms, not that people didn't go out and drink, though the drinking population was definitely a lot lower in our dorm than others. </p>
<p>A parent asked earlier why there are sub-free dorms anyway. I think it's because the college admins recognize that, at most colleges, it's not that hard for freshmen to drink if they want, and if you have already decided not to do that, it would probably be easier to live with others that have voluntarily made the same choice. So yeah, if there are kids that are forced into subfree, it kind of defeats the purpose.</p>
<p>Also, subfree does not always mean noise free! My subfree dorm was actually one of the rowdiest sometimes, especially on weeknights, because we ended up getting really close to each other, but that also meant that people would be hanging out and talking loudly all the time in the hallways and common rooms...</p>
<p>What schools have these dorms? It's the first time I've heard of sub-free dorms. I think it's awesome, though. I'd like to be in one if I had the choice.</p>
<p>A wise man once said "The best way to bond with people is to drink with them, and if they don't drink, you don't want to know them."</p>
<p>I think Hobbit brings up an excellent point. Sub-free doesn't mean noise free. If that is your issue--the noise level and your ability to sleep or study through it--instead of looking for sub free housing I would look for a commuter school where most of the kids leave for the weekend. There is a certain amount of adapting a student must do, whether it is learning to share a room or finding some coping mechanisms for those times that the noise level doesn't suit you.</p>
<p>Another wise person once said, "One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time."</p>
<p>People who don't drink actually remember in the morning the sex they had last night. There is something to be said for this.</p>
<p>I should also point out that in the absence of alcohol or other mind-fogging substances, the entire premise of the movie Knocked Up falls apart. (A sober woman would know that her partner was not wearing a condom.)</p>
<p>Well, this will vary by college I'm sure, but I got a "0" balance to the fees the college charged toward the common areas of my son's sub free dorm and 25.00 for his room (painting wall which we could appeal) Other dorms got 2-4,500 damage! Now that's divided up but room, but it was mostly for damage,breaking things, vomit cleanup, pulling fire ext., things like that. The "party dorm" was about 5000. My son said, "that's what happens when you drink...reasonably intelligent people act really stupid". Well some things are a given at college and next year he is dorming in a non-sub free but hopefully quiet dorm and we'll see....some things are just out of your control and you learn to adapt.</p>
<p>My son stays up really late but he's quiet. Though he may get noisier in college--who knows?--I wonder what species of roommate they will pair him up with. Are most nocturnal people wild partiers?</p>
<p>Bethievt, I wouldn't say so, my son stays up late, likes quiet and had to force himself to go to bed early for his one early class. Some just study, play games, talk, etc. at night. On his floor the main problems were late night music (but ear phones helped a lot there) and being "sexiled" as they say. Some inconsiderate students wanted roommates to just park themselves somewhere else most nights although they were paying for the same room and board. Those things happen everywhere but compromise and sticking to your guns other times, usually works.</p>
<p>My daughter lives in a sub free dorm (by her own choice, no parental pressure). She quickly discovered that "sub free" doesn't mean "no one will ever drink or do drugs elsewhere" but rather "there won't be any wild drunken parties here in this dorm." A small percentage of the kids on her floor - maybe 5 or so out of 25 who live there, actively go out in search of drinking/drugs/etc., but it's a small enough number that it's not a huge problem. She is happy living there, especially as she does have friends who were unhappily stuck in "party dorms." Her dorm is somewhat mellower (but not quiet!) and generally cleaner (that's according to the dorm housekeeper!), but doesn't seem to be overly stereotyped as a dorm for nerds.<br>
Like DeBruns, we also have not had to chip in for any dorm damage fees, and that is a blessing in and of itself.</p>
<p>While I'm sure some of the kids who go out to party were forced by their parents to live in a sub-free dorm, most of the kids who do party were placed there by residential life, not their parents -- it's simply a matter of dorm availability. So, a good question to ask residential life if your kid wants a sub free dorm is how many kids are placed there by choice, and how many because that's where an open room was? Also ask if there is any sort of screening of the RAs in that dorm -- some of the RAs in my daughter's dorm happily attended every party on campus. </p>
<p>As I said, for my daughter, at least, the fact that some people party elsewhere hasn't been a huge problem. In fact, next year she's living in the same dorm. But if someone - be it a parent or a student - thinks "sub free" equates with "convent" they're usually going to be disappointed.</p>
<p>By the way, my daughter and her friend are ALWAYS up late, and they had some pretty wild (non-sub) and noisy times on the floor. Sub-free doesn't necessarily mean quiet or calm, and "crazy and fun" doesn't always mean drunk and disorderly. (There is a floor in the sub-free dorm set aside as a "quiet floor.")</p>
<p>Note to self : Tell D that any fees for damage to dorm room will paid by her.</p>
<p>"Well, this will vary by college I'm sure, but I got a "0" balance to the fees the college charged toward the common areas of my son's sub free dorm and 25.00 for his room (painting wall which we could appeal) Other dorms got 2-4,500 damage! Now that's divided up but room, but it was mostly for damage,breaking things, vomit cleanup, pulling fire ext., things like that. The "party dorm" was about 5000. My son said, "that's what happens when you drink...reasonably intelligent people act really stupid". Well some things are a given at college and next year he is dorming in a non-sub free but hopefully quiet dorm and we'll see....some things are just out of your control and you learn to adapt."</p>
<p>I forgot to mention it, but that happened in my dorm too. My subfree dorm had about $60 worth of damage; some of the other dorms had thousands of dollars. So, even though there are people who drink in subfree and people who don't drink in nonsubfree, there's still a difference in atmosphere/living quality.</p>
<p>I wish there had been sub-free dorms at my college. There are for upper classmen (but people only do it because it's the "good" dorm), but nothing for freshman. I was on a coed hall with 8 girls and 29 guys. Most of the girls didn't drink much (including myself who never drank at all) while the boys would throw parties in their rooms. During finals, the guys diagonally across the hall had a party and invited about 40 people who all ended up drunk and camped out in front of my door from 9PM to about 3AM. It was so loud that my roommate and I had a movie on full blast but still could not hear the TV. Also, being that it was finals, it was impossible to study or really even leave the room as people were blocking the hall. </p>
<p>If I had lived in a sub free dorm, at least that wouldn't be a problem and they probably would have an RA with some backbone. </p>
<p>We also got billed for damage done by people partying and everyone knew it- but my RA wouldn't step in and say not to charge the girls. You'd think that'd be common sense though since most of the issues were in the boy's bathroom- and since there were only 8 girls to a 2 shower, 3 toilet bathroom, of COURSE we didn't use the boys. Blah.</p>
<p>The sub-free dorm reality at my freshman S's school is my only really major beef with the college. As a parent, the idea that such an option existed made me worry less about the school's party reputation. I was completely blindsided!</p>
<p>S chose sub-free housing not only because he doesn't use substances and wanted to meet others who don't, but primarily because he didn't want to clean up after roommates who do nor be awakened by drunken kids at all hours. Kids on the CC forum for his school seemed to point out the no-vomit-clean-up factor as the major advantage of a sub-free dorm. He didn't worry about limiting himself socially, because again from CC he learned that the academic dorm for which you had to apply and write an essay seemed to be the one with the reputation for anti-social nerds.</p>
<p>Well, in August S got his roommate assignment. From Facebook it was pretty clear this kid is a huge partier. The first question the roommate asked S is if he can stock the frig with beer. Roommate definitely caused drunken mess and ruckus on many occasions this year. At one point, he was also brewing some kind of homemade moonshine under his bed, and midway through the year he decided he enjoyed smoking cigars. Did S complain to the RA, you might ask? Hmm. Didn't seem like the thing to do, as the RA was a big pot-smoker himself. Iin fact, the fumes were entering my son's room to the extent he had to purchase Febreze and other products to keep his clothes from smelling like marijuana. </p>
<p>As a parent, I minded this for all the obvious reasons, but mostly because I hate lies. Sub-free housing at S's school is a complete farce and the title should be abandoned. As many point out, learning to adapt is a great skill. S actually adapted very well and the dorm and rooming situation was seldom intolerable. But here's where I get concerned. The damage assessment situation is unacceptable. We are struggling financially and I really resent having to pay for the destruction made by drunken students who aren't my kid. Secondly, as we all know from the recent Duke case, alcohol and partying can get kids into serious trouble and they don't always have to be guilty for it to drastically impact their lives. An example: one night, S's roomie went out drinking with 2 girls from the the floor. The came back smashed, and camped out in the room. In the morning, somehow neither of the two young ladies woke up wearing panties but couldn't remember what had happened. Now, S was in his room (it's a two-room set-up) trying to sleep. Fortunately, that was the end of it, but can you imagine what could have happened to an innocent young man if either of these girls had made an accusation?</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing all these experiences everyone! We have a couple of years left, but my D is adamant about staying in a sub-free dorm, for the obvious reasons plus the fact that she is an athlete and needs the sleep for early morning runs/meets. However, she probably will have the sleep challenges anywhere judging from some of your stories. Plus the fact that many "substances" set off migraines (she is even allergic to aspartame) - I won't begin to tell you about the aromas at that Fall Out Boy concert last weekend...The sub-free dorm option will be the FIRST question she asks at every college tour...</p>