<p>Hi Parents! I was just wondering if you guys have any good success stories about kids who didn't do so well in HS, got their act together in college or at a CC and transferred up to a good school.</p>
<p>I will be patiently waiting for answers to this thread. My about to graduate DD is not a bad student - tested well and took many challenging classes (her own choice). Unfortunately she has developed this horrible habit of doing well at the beginning of the class, tuning out in the middle and engaging in panicked scrambling trying make things up at the end. In her high school career she has gotten a few C’s and plenty of “barely” B’s. </p>
<p>Last summer after her junior year she was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type. Therapy and very light meds have helped with her organization. But she still has had trouble maintaining focus the entire semester. This semester she insisted on taking AP B/C calculus, AP physics, AP literature and AP bio. She has been in a complete panic the past couple of weeks trying to bring up 3 C’s to B’s.</p>
<p>Despite therapy and coaching (and some yelling) from my husband and I we still see her waste a tremendous amount of time on EC’s, Facebook, etc. She immaturely insists that she can handle it and she knows what she is doing, despite concrete evidence to the contrary.</p>
<p>We are deeply worried that when she goes to college in August that she will crash and burn. She needs a lot of structure and is horrible at providing it for herself. I’d love to hear about kids that grew up and matured when they went away to school.</p>
<p>My personal story: graduated from highly selective college with only a 2.6 gpa. I probably could have done better, but I enjoyed an amazing unofficial education by hanging out with extremely bright motivated students. I absorbed knowledge of favorite subjects on my own, without benefit of classwork. Stayed out for a gap year, then plunged into grad school, where I made straight As and was named to an honor society.</p>
<p>So grad school was my vindication; I proved to myself that I was capable of superior work once I had a high level of motivation and had figured out an efficient study method, which amounted to 7 days a week devoted to academics. Greater maturity and focus helped, too.</p>
<p>Hence the frequent recommendation to take a gap year before college or grad school. Some kids just need that extra time to mature. There is so much more to the college experience than academics. You can help by encouraging her to join study groups, set up a daily study schedule, get acquainted with college tutoring services, resolve to never skip class, and so forth. Colleges usually provide plenty of guidance for freshmen, but she’ll have to make the first move. Reaching out to mature upper classmen will provide role models.</p>
<p>OP, search my post history – that’s my story.</p>
<p>“I’d love to hear about kids that grew up and matured when they went away to school.”</p>
<p>I know a lot more stories about kids who grew up and matured and THEN went away to school. It makes a lot more sense to me to take a gap year on purpose and get your priorities in order, than to take a gap year at the strong suggestion of your college when you fail to make the grade. In addition to wasting time and money, you may end up with a sheet full of bad grades that hurt your grad school chances, even if you later make straight A’s. Gassimom, where is your daughter going next year?</p>
<p>I didn’t do exactly that but I wasn’t much of an overachiever in HS. I had great SATs which got me into a pretty good college, then I transferred down a bit to an easier college, which is when I got it together. I got almost straight As, got into a good grad school, did very well there and have had a financially and personally successful professional career.</p>
<p>I was pretty much the inverse valedictorian in my HS class :-). That did not prevent me from going to college and accumulating multiple engineering degrees. But, that was then, where a pulse and no-prep ACT got you into decent colleges, and dog-eat-dog competition for graduate programs or jobs was nonexistent.</p>
<p>The question is really many questions in one:</p>
<ul>
<li>whether there are enough distractions (Facebook, texting, etc) and how to address them</li>
<li>whether the student is academically capable (try studying engineering with 7th grade math skills :-), I speak from experience</li>
<li>whether the student knows what they’re getting into major wise</li>
<li>whether the school and family are supportive or ‘swim or sink’
: : : : : :</li>
</ul>
<p>Here’s my story:</p>
<p>I had the worst high school record…even to the point that I was told by my hs chemistry teacher that high school is not for everybody. I barely graduated high school, much less get an acceptable SAT. I don’t like blaming my typical broken family life but will honestly say that it contributed to my unsuccessful high school life. </p>
<p>I left the town I grew up in and moved to LA in 2003 with only $500 of savings. I had a high school degree at least. I knew I could find a job because I was not picky. My cousin who lived in Venice told me I can live with him for free for a month then I would have to pay rent. The same day I moved, I went door to door business to business from Venice to Santa Monica looking for a job. Cutting the story short, I worked several customer service/retail jobs while taking night classes at the nearest CC (where I did well).</p>
<p>In 2007, I applied for different UCs and Cal States in which I got in to all of those schools. I chose to go to one of the UC (from top 50 in US News Ranking) for 2008-2010. I graduated last year with a degree in Business Economics and Accounting. Currently, I’m working for the federal government doing financial analysis, auditing, and tax regulation. I started my job last fall. I love my job and am grateful for my past (however painful it was) that it lead me to make the choices I did.</p>
<p>How I got my current position you may want to ask, by attending our university career fairs. I didn’t attend just once but several times during my two years. I got to know the recruiters and would see familiar ones every time they come in. This is how I networked since I don’t have a lot of connections (as some of my peers do, and not that I blame them). This took time and energy but it yielded me a job offer after a lot of grueling interviews, applications, and rejections.</p>
<p>My son had a horrible high school and early college career. He is a very intelligent young man, near perfect test scores, but was not motivated by grades. Things turned around for him when he decided on a major that challenged and interested him. He will graduate in December with a degree in electrical engineering. He has a wonderful, well paid internship with a top electronics company, with a strong likelihood of hire in January. But he has had to work a lot harder the past few years to make up for his lackluster high school and early college.</p>
<p>East Afro Beauty</p>
<p>It is not uncommon for students who did not “care” in high school to go to a “not very hard to get into” college and then start to really “care” about school and do very well in college. </p>
<p>Most of these students stay and graduate from the college they entered and go on to future success in their careers or in law school, grad school, med school.</p>
<p>I am sure some of these students transfer to “hard to get into” schools (what you are calling transferring “up to a good school”), and that most of them COULD have transferred. Transferring is a pain, though. Sometimes people do not expect to like their “not hard to get into” schools and end up staying at these schools for a great four years.</p>
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<p>That’s funny because your daughter sounds EXACTLY like me, except towards the end of my sophomore year thru my junior year I starting not caring getting D’s and F’s always trying to makeup stuff. I’m not sure if I have ADHD…even though I have tried talking to someone about it…it just gets ignored. </p>
<p>@bdjohn: That’s an AMAZING story!</p>
<p>@MidwestMom: thanks for the advice 
I’m actually the type of person that’s always cared about school and my future but there was this period in my life that I stopped caring & putting effort into school unfortunately…it started because I was getting really overwhelmed with my rigorous schedule my sophomore year and I’d miss a lot of school to catch up…and things just spiraled out of control into my junior year when I barely took any honors classes and started getting Ds in college prep classes. Plus I was dealing with a lot of personal and family issues which made it more difficult.</p>
<p>I really, really truly regret getting bad grades every single day of my life. I know that transferring is very difficult, but I just hope that me being successful in college (grades + internships + ECs etc). will give me a second chance to redeem myself.</p>
<p>I feel like this has been a rude awakening for me…and who knows maybe it was a blessing in disguise for better things to come…to maybe it could have prevented me from flunking out of college because I know how it feels to be in such a situation.</p>
<p>EAB–</p>
<p>I’ve always felt there was a real maturity to the way you take responsibility for your past mistakes. Believe me, nobody makes it through life without a few BIG mistakes. Nobody. All you can do is learn from it and move on. So far, I think you’ve done so admirably.</p>
<p>As Oscar Wilde said, “Experience is the name we give our mistakes.”</p>
<p>Listen, I want you to stop beating yourself up, now, for a while. Enjoy the summer. Go to SDSU and do well. You may really love it there and be a superstar. It may be exactly what you need for your undergrad work. Who knows what the future holds. It’s not good to get bogged down in the future OR the past. It really is just better to do what you need to do today and to celebrate and enjoy the little things. </p>
<p>You’re graduating high school! Whooo-hoooooo! If you never enjoy yourself, you’ll just end up in the same place of feeling overwhelmed. The key is to find a balance.</p>
<p>That’s me. High school in Europe with a GPA that would have Kaplan roll in his, well, you get the idea. Thanks to the Hail Mary one-test university entrance exam there, I got in (there), finished, then came to US, and proceeded to complete three more engineering or CompSci degrees with no problems getting in and out (including a Directional State U, Flagship State U, and #2 ranked graduate specialty engineering program)</p>
<p>I would <em>not</em> count on that happening any time today.</p>