<p>Okay, so I'll try to sum up what my situation is. Going into the college application process, my parents promised me that they'd pay for any college I was accepted to (or pay for a very large portion with me working over the summer to earn some money as a nice gesture). Indeed, I did get accepted to one of the top private institutions in the country, and got a $10k merit scholarship (the highest they offer), but no financial aid. My parents make over $100k per year and have fairly significant assets; I'm also an only child, and they don't have many expenses, so we didn't really expect to qualify for financial aid. Since finances were not an issue, I immediately accepted their offer and deposited at the school. </p>
<p>A couple of weeks ago, I was outed to my parents as gay (it's a really long story, not going to go into specifics). Well anyway, my mom was okay with it but my dad (who essentially controls the finances) said that he no longer will be paying for my college and has threatened to kick me out of the house. Now, I only have two more months until I'm supposed to enroll, and I do have enough in my personal bank account from investments I made with holiday and birthday money (I'm pretty good with investing) to get through my first year (which, with a National Merit Finalist $2500 scholarship and other scholarships, I've gotten down to ~$40k from $57k with housing). However, I don't know what I'd do after that. I'm also really scared because I have to live with the threat now of being kicked out of my home and without my mom pushing to keep me here, I'd be out on the streets. My dad has also "commanded" my mom not to co-sign for any loan for me to be able to attend. </p>
<p>What should I do? I'm sort of backed into a corner, I know, but I'd imagine there's some option for me out there.</p>
<p>Wow - I’m sorry to hear that your parents are so intolerant and hateful.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to say that you really should not spend your entire savings on one year of private college. Your best option is to find a school that you can afford to attend (in-state public?) and get out of that hostile, destructive home environment. With that much in savings, along with the federal student loans you can get with no co-signer (Stafford Loans) and part-time jobs, you should be able to squeeze out four years at a public.</p>
<p>You will not qualify for any loans (beyond the Staffords, approx 3500 and perhaps an additional 2000) without a co-signer.</p>
<p>Even with that said, taking out 40K of loans, even if your mother or a grandparent cosigned, is insane and unsustainable (and a total of 160K is unthinkable, even if somehow your cosigner qualified for that amount).</p>
<p>It is possible that your parents will cool off and calmer decisions be made, but somewhat unlikely in time for your fall tuition. I guess you need to talk to your mother that if Plan A (your original school) isn’t supported by them that you will do Plan B. See if your mother can help you with Plan B… perhaps moving into an apartment in a city with a community college, etc.</p>
<p>Not really. There is no money genie that will help. You can’t get loans other than Stafford without a co-signer. You can’t be declared independent for F/A purposes since you don’t meet the criteria. Your issue with your parents makes no difference for that. </p>
<p>Spending all your money on your first year and then having to drop out makes no sense. Your options as I see them:</p>
<p>1) work it out with your parents and go to the school you intended to</p>
<p>2) take a gap year and attempt to work it out and attend Fall 2012</p>
<p>3) take a gap year, save $, and go to a school you can afford without their help</p>
<p>Your parents are in no way obligated to pay for college. I feel bad for you and hope it works out. You won’t be independent for F/A purposes until you are 24.</p>
<p>There is no need for you to take a gap year - plenty of colleges accept late admissions, particularly public colleges.</p>
<p>I see your most immediate need as getting out of that poisonous, soul-crushing home environment. Speaking as a gay man myself, you need to find a place to live where you feel safe and supported. Get out to a college you can afford now, and maybe worry about transferring somewhere else later.</p>
<p>Edit: I see that you’re in New York. I bet there’s one or more SUNY schools that would admit you in a heartbeat.</p>
<p>^^^^
Disagree. A quickie app to the local flagship to start in a month is not a wise move. The OP needs to get their personal life in order (relationship with parents, where to live, etc) straightened out first. Hopefully this can be done in the next couple weeks so the original plan still works. If not then a very sudden change in plans to a school to which the OP does not want to attend coupled with a personal life in turmoil is a recipie for disaster for a Freshman. </p>
<p>The original plan is not going to work, and living with a hostile, intolerant parent for the next year would be a terrible idea. We can’t assume his dad is ever going to accept his sexual orientation.</p>
<p>I really feel for you, OP. Coming out is one of the hardest things I ever did, and I have accepting hippie parents. Being outed to a homophobic parent… I just can’t imagine :(</p>
<p>After looking at some of the OP’s other posts I’m calling ■■■■■. Last Fall he/she was posting that they programmed and run a web site with $1,500,000 annual revenue. Now this post saying they will be out on the street? Yeah, right</p>
<p>IronMaiden, I did indeed have a website that made a little less than a million (I exaggerated a bit on the original thread) but that was in my dad’s name because I was under 18 when I started the website. He obviously has full ownership of the website now, and that’s one of the reasons why his income is high enough not to qualify for financial aid, which makes it hurt even more that my hard work is being used against me.</p>
<p>It sounds like you should have gotten an agreement in writing about the financial arrangement instead of just putting everything in your dad’s name.</p>
<p>I just read your other thread and now I am really confused. Who is running the business now?</p>
<p>This sort of thing happens all of the time for a number of reasons. Sometimes for no reason other than parents getting cold feet about the financial plunge. If your parents back out of the commitment to pay for your education, and you have no way to pay for it yourself, you are going to have to come up with alternative plans. Take a deep breath, and take a gap year. Do some community service or take a job and see how things look further down the road. Your father may reconsider his stance or dig in deeper. You’ll have a better idea as to where you stand. Right now your father might be reacting off the cuff. For some folks, this sort of news is a shocker, and their reactions can be way off the wall. Some such parents become their kids’ most staunch supporter in time. </p>
<p>Most schools will permit you to take a gap year for personal issues like this. File the request and see how it goes. Look for other alternatives just in case you father stays firm in refusing to pay for your college.</p>
<p>I have serious doubts about the veracity of the OP.
When I mentioned this post to my wife, she said we’d be heading for divorce court.
Personally, I wouldn’t be “happy”, in large part because of the myriad problems gays encounter but, I sure-in-hell wouldn’t disown my son!</p>
<p>I do not try to vet out the veracity of the posters. The issue is what I address. Many kids get into conflicts with their parents and end up with threats of college payment being withheld. Sometimes for good reason. One of our cousins ended up at community college instead of State U when he could not show that he was responsible enough to go off on his own. My son was under that threat as well, if he could not stay out of trouble. College costs too much money to invest it with dubious kids being central to the picture. </p>
<p>However, there are also parents who are unreasonable in their conditions and certainly not politically/socially correct. Parents threaten to withdraw financial support not only for lack of academic and personal responsibilities but also for what their kids social lives, academic plans, personal issues are. Really, not much one can do about it. If a parent does not want to pay for college if the student is gay or has a significant other that the parent does not like, that parent does not have to pay. This is not a requirement in life. Many kids are shocked and outraged that this can happen. Yes, you are an adult at age 18, and your parents do not have to support you anymore. They don’t have to have a reason. So you gotta play things smart. The cost of a private college can run close to $60K a year which is more than the average American family earns, and certainly more than nearly any 18 year old can anyone to pay him/her. So, yes, there can be stiff stipulations and conditions for getting that kind of money.</p>
<p>stage- then your son is lucky. I am part of the LGBT community and I know way too many children that have been disowned by their parents (kicked out of the house, all financial support cut off, and even being told that they are no longer allowed to refer to them as mom and dad) for coming out or being outed. If you think it doesn’t happen, you’re kidding yourself. Side note- I’ve also seen it happen a ridiculous number of times for kids who don’t follow their parents’ religion. Those are the two big “disowners”.</p>
<p>Maturity and personal responsibility are different issues and are very subjective. I agree that guidelines need to be set. We had a major conflict between 2 schools for which we withheld financial help if he chose one. We were compelled to assert this authority because of a frivolous reason to choose one decent school over a top tier school.
No one, including his friends, agreed with his first choice.</p>
<p>Coming out as gay is only one reason for estrangement for parents. Religion, as Romanigypsy states, is another biggie. So is having a significant other that the parents can’t stand. There are other conditions such as subject of study, living in the dorms, type of roommates,that fall into a less extreme situation, in my opinion, and then the reasons that I think any parents should have as conditions, such as satisfactory grades, responsible fiscal management, staying out of trouble.</p>