<p>I have a daughter with classic ADHD who can't take the medications. She makes mostly C's at a private school in LA and we, her parents, would love to see her follow her passions and explore what she seems to love and is good at (like fashion), but she is determined to go to a traditional four-year university. She has no extra-curricular activities (since Facebook, computer games and hours and hours of tutoring unfortunately don't count).</p>
<p>We want to keep her in California and think she needs a smaller school with a pro-active support program for ADHD students. (She is very, very social and will always pick a party over school work until her feet are to the fire so she needs supervision to keep the temptations of college at bay).</p>
<p>Any suggestions of schools that would realistically admit her? She is a beautiful, impressive girl in person -- she's just not much of an academic but cannot be talked out of pursuing this road for something better suited (even a gap year).</p>
<p>What’s her GPA, the overall rigor of her schedule and her school, and her test scores? What is your budget? Do you have enough resources to cover more than four years? You mentioned tutoring–is she also seeing a therapist who specializes in working with ADHD patients?</p>
<p>Your instincts about a gap year sound spot on.</p>
<p>Where does the counselor at the school think she can get in? Probably makes a difference if it’s a high C or a low C average and what the curriculum was. How did you standardized test scores come out? Bottom line is if and where she can get in will depend heavily on that GPA and test score relative to the curriculum. I don’t know much about California but we have a public college that accepts kids in the 2.2 to 2.0 range. They put them in a special program for one year to help ensure they get off the on the right foot in the college environment and I think they take some remedial classes. Not sure if California has anything like that. </p>
<p>But do talk to her GC. He/she should be able to give you a recommendation whether your D should go to college right now and if there are possibilities for colleges that will accept her. </p>
<p>The other option is to have her go to one of the excellent California city colleges and see how she does for a couple years and then transfer once she’s got her feet on solid academic ground.</p>
<p>Agree also that if you feel she should not be going away to college, as the parent, you certainly have the option of telling her that you don’t feel she is ready for college and you are disinclined to fund it at the moment. My parents kept my incredibly bright but immature sibling home for an extra year simply because they didn’t feel the self regulation mechanisms were where they needed to be to be successful in college.</p>
<p>I second the suggestion of using guidance counselors to their fullest. It may also help to get a “life coach” specializing in helping people with ADHD. Parents often get a lot of push back from their ADHD kids (trust me, I know), so a third party without emotional ties could be a great resource in guiding her education and future career. Good luck!</p>
<p>I have a friend whose kid has ADHD and mediocre high school grades. Maybe a c plus 2.9 ish. Anyway he did a gap year and is now very happy and academically doing ok at McDaniel. They have decent support. It’s not cheap and they pay extra for the support</p>
<p>Community college, then transfer to a four year school as a junior.</p>
<p>If she has taken the required courses for CSU admission, and her CSU admission GPA and test scores are higher than the minimum CSU eligibility shown here:</p>
<p>She is very, very social and will always pick a party over school work until her feet are to the fire so she needs supervision to keep the temptations of college at bay</p>
<p>Does this mean that you’ll need her to commute? If not, who will supervise her and keep her “feet to the fire”?</p>
<p>explore what she seems to love and is good at (like fashion),</p>
<p>Design? Merchandising? I think some of the CSU’s have this major.</p>
<p>What is your budget? FIDM might accept her if money is no object.</p>
<p>With her GPA, may be able to get into Sonoma State. Not sure of support services at that school–I would also post in the Learning Differences and Challenges - LD, ADHD Forum</p>
<p>You might look into special training, such as Landmark in Vermont (I think that’s the name). </p>
<p>You say “can’t take medication” and that might be something that you might want to revisit. My S took one med and didn’t care for it at all. He struggled on for another two years before having a near melt down. Some extensive testing outlined his specific troubles and pointed to a different med. Apparently there are some 40 medications available for these challenges. You might talk with a pharmacist in addition to the doctor on these issues. I promise you the right med has completely turned my son’s life around. </p>
<p>Look at “More attention, less deficit” a book that is very practical – and includes odd tips like studying a language with a different alphabet (who knew?) as a way to build concentration abilities. </p>
<p>While it is HER life, it is YOUR checkbook. You would be within reason to insist on a gap year or other specific steps that need to taken so that you send her off to the four year college with some feelings of confidence that things will go well. </p>
<p>There is a difference between “NO” and “This FIRST” and you have to have the spine to make the important first’s happen. For instance, ADD students tend to have more problems with room neatness, with being in auto accidents and with navigating relationships without meltdowns. You could insist on:
Room organization for three months (not military neatness, but functional to the point that a roommate would be ok-ish)
Getting a driver’s license and taking extra courses (such as defensive driving)
Training, after school, in conflict negotiations (a great EC!)
Giving back to the community regularly(her choice of how-- Food bank tends to be social. So does Boys and Girls club counselor. Assisting with therapy horseback riding can be wonderful). </p>
<p>Put a list of that style of requirements on the fridge and say “up to you, honey, how fast or slow you get through this list” (and mean it). No yelling. No negotiating. The list is done before you pay tuition. That’s the deal. </p>
<p>This is a basic aspect of dog training. You want the treat? Then let’s work to show you what behavior gets you the treat. Yeah! You did it! All very positive!</p>
<p>Supervision is one thing a student will not get at a traditional “sleep there” college. Make sure as a parent you can separate out what are true learning disabilities and what self regulation she is capable of in the absence of a parent if the money is something that would hurt to part with. If she’s going to “pick a party unless her feet are to the coals” as you say…she is the one that has to hold her feet to the coals. YMMV.</p>
<p>If you can afford it, I would think a LAC like Redlands or Whittier would support her. When we visited Whittier Thanksgiving week last year, we saw numerous postings including in the restrooms reminding students that they needed to start preparing for finals, contact the tutoring center, etc. DD thought it was too much handholding and a bit over the top, but I know that Whittier is actively working on student retention, so I regarded it as a good sign. In NorCal, maybe St. Mary’s in Moraga or Dominican? I tend to doubt, however, that any of those schools have courses, much less majors, related to fashion. </p>
<p>I just would not place my trust in the disability services of a public school due to all the state budget cuts. For any school, you probably need to contact the office to find out their philosophy and determine whether their actions match their philosophy and your daughter’s needs.</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone for all of the great advice and thoughtful suggestions. As for the questions:
Her GPA is 2.5, with little hope of improvement in 12th grade
Highest SAT is 1500 (all three parts) – 1000 excluding the writing. She is not taking ACT or any subject tests. She took last weekend’s SAT and decided to cancel her scores and is going to take it again in November for the fourth and last time.
She goes to a good private school but her schedule is made up of the easiest classes they offer.
She has seen therapists on and off since 4th grade. The one she saw all of last year specialized in ADHD. I don’t think any of them have been much help, although they have been some help to her in that they have shown my husband and me ways to parent her better. She is quite defiant with us.
The school counselors think she should go to community college and have been discouraging that she will be able to get in to any 4-year college. She absolutely refuses to consider a community college because her friends are high-achieving A/B students who are applying to 4-year colleges and she can’t stand to admit (to them or to herself) that she won’t be doing that, too. She won’t even consider a place like FIDM because she thinks that isn’t a “real school” even though I think she would like going there so much more than traditional college.
She can’t take the ADHD meds because they caused as a side effect a life-threatening heart condition called prolonged QT interval syndrome (isn’t that the most bizarre thing?!)
We are looking for a college with a learning disability program that does a lot of hand-holding, ie, if the kid doesn’t show up for tutoring they want to know why – stuff like that.
We can pay private tuition, but we sure don’t want her to be on an 8-year plan or something!</p>
<p>I know you said that you would prefer a CA school, but you may want to consider the University of Arizona and the SALT program. SALT is a special program at U of A to provide ongoing support, tutoring, organizational help and supervision for ADHD students.</p>
<p>Your D could of course apply to four-year schools so that she’s just like her friends, but given her academic record she’s not going to be getting good admission news, which then will make things worse for her since she won’t be keeping up with her friends. If possible, it would be wonderful to find programs for her that would play to her strengths–a cool-sounding gap year program with structure and increasing responsibility, FIDM, an apprenticeship?–that will allow her to gain the oohs and aahs from her peers for doing something with just as much teenage cred as a four year school. If you are able to set up negotiations with her for trying something, or touring or shadowing, use that. </p>
<p>An older sister of my 10th grade D2 went to UCLA, graduated…and realized she wanted to do fashion. So she then started over at FIDM. Not unusual, I think! </p>
<p>I’d ask here on CC in a new thread for recommendations for a paid college counselor to work with your D. That will take the child-parental defiance issue off the table. A good counselor will be able to help your daughter come up with a good list of schools or other options that are a good fit for her. </p>
<p>Concur with siliconvalleymom about the SALT program. You might want to start yet another thread about that, and/or search here on the parents forum and on the learning differences forum for information. Another option would be to investigate getting your D an executive function coach, starting now.</p>
<p>I’m sure there will be many other suggestions. It sounds like you have great insight into her needs and what will best serve her; the problem is getting her to buy into that.</p>
<p>It can get expensive. And your D may object to living with a group different from her hs peers. But I think that it would have the hand-holding you requested. </p>
<p>Regardless of your options, remember that you are paying. And you have adult judgment. Don’t let your D talk you into unreasonable risk of failure, even if she does happen to get accepted somewhere surprising for her stats. You want her to be somewhere that she can thrive.</p>
If possible, it would be wonderful to find programs for her that would play to her strengths–a cool-sounding gap year program with structure and increasing responsibility, FIDM, an apprenticeship?–that will allow her to gain the oohs and aahs from her peers for doing something with just as much teenage cred as a four year school. If you are able to set up negotiations with her for trying something, or touring or shadowing, use that. </p>
about that, and/or search here on the parents forum and on the learning differences forum for information. Another option would be to investigate getting your D an executive function coach, starting now.</p>