<p>Your daughter's suitemates' behavior is so far beyond what is acceptable that I cannot believe having a conference will come to anything except resentment against your daughter.</p>
<p>When my niece was a freshman, her roommate would go downtown, get drunk, pick up strange men and bring them back to their room, where they would spend the night. My niece would wake up and discover strange men--not even college students--in her bedroom. She was so afraid of seeming uncool and demanding that she did nothing about it except complain to her mother. Fortunately the roommate flunked out at the end of one semester. </p>
<p>I do not understand why college students think they should be expected to put up with stuff like this. </p>
<p>Please tell your daughter to demand a room change immediately. If this has gone on for one week, that is too long.</p>
<p>Atlmom, I couldn't help but notice your DD is considering transferring. This might be a good time for her to look hard at her school and see if she can find a group of like minded students. There must be some. Can she bunk with a friend for a few nights while this gets resolved?</p>
<p>From what I have seen with party animal college kids, her suitemates most probably believe it is your DD who has a problem. They are doing exactly what they went to a school know for it's parties to do. They see others doing it all over. A compromise it not in their interest.</p>
<p>Your DD needs to firmly establish a social group with her outlook and lifestyle.</p>
<p>Good advice but from what i hear some of this is prevalent whereever you go except maybe for Bob Jones U. This is just one piece of the puzzle and she has to figure out where she fits in . UNC is truly a great institution, the professors and classes are wonderful and I am sure most of the students....but....last semester she felt like an outcast for not being the partying type. Just hard to find them being on south campus in the heart of Freshmen. I know there are like minded kids.</p>
<p>She did return reenergized and ready to find her group. She is taking some proactive steps to join different groups, and meeting new kids. She was considering transferring but is not set on it. Getting connected with the right kids would make all the difference in the world I think as to her final choice.</p>
<p>Thanks for the thoughts and input. </p>
<p>I just talked to her and her attitude is still positive. She said she got them together to bake cookies yesterday and everyone liked that...I will let her try to work it out for another week or so....but I did put our $10 worth in from my friends here. and of course I won't hesitate to get involved if necessary.</p>
<p>CEEBROWN, THANKS FOR THAT LAUGH.....i laughed out loud!!!!! Yes, there are greater problems and no i am not losing sleep over this....she is safe....she is losing sleep!</p>
<p>Inspiration08, i think on campus housing is safest considering she doesn't know anyone.....the other is really not an option and there are steps for next year she can take like applying for substance free housing on campus. We will all wait and see!!!</p>
<p>Atlmom: I do think she would find a totally different atmosphere off of South campus, which is typically freshman-heavy--and I'm sure Housing would find space for her on N. campus tomorrow if she wanted it. Regardless, her sophomore year will improve. All the freshmen partiers either flunk out, or nearly flunk out. They usually get a reality check when that end of first year GPA is staring at them. ;)</p>
<p>DD had to finally put her foot down on loud and late in her suite. She explained her need for sleep and health. They were somewhat cooperative. they all agreed to some restrictions Sunday-Thursday. Then she also got earplugs and night eyeshades. So she met them part way. When they got louder than the earplugs can handle, she bangs on the wall or yells at them and they quite down. She is not rooming with them next year, though.</p>
<p>My friend's son has the same exact situation. He was freaking out at first, but after a couple of months, seems to have worked things out with his roommates. They still drink like mad and he is not a party guy, but they have dragged him out to some social events that he would otherwise not have attended and he has met more people at the school as a result. Your daughter will know when she has had enough and then can take the matter to the RA and/or dean, etc. I would definitely have her work her way up the chain of command, though. Sometimes it rubs people (and their superiors) the wrong way when they do not even get the opportunity to do the right thing. Good luck to her. Let us know what happens.</p>
<p>I am standing by for now.....she seems to be handling it. We will see if it will calm down some. You never know maybe one or two really don't want that atmosphere either. We'll see. thanks for the post.</p>
<p>Dorms are loud, drinking or not. Just spoke with my D about this semester. Next door neighbor girls are party girls that are loud most every night especially on weekends. She's tried nice, she's tried not nice, she gone RA route. Learning to live with it as dorm is next door to science buildings. On weekends whole floor/building up until morning anyway... </p>
<p>This semester she has an organic chem exam at 8 am on a saturday morning (ow! for her) which because it's a friday night.. kids are just going to be up till 4 or 5 in the morning. She needs quiet and a good night's sleep. I finally just offered to pay for a hotel room that night so she can sleep. That may work out better than trying to get people to quiet down..</p>
<p>Yes, I already have a hotel lined up for the just in case nights if she does not move, like EXAM time.....they have shuttle and free bfast and all. I know the clerk and she would take good care of her.....it does seem ridiculous to do but....might be a good idea for any needing a good nights sleep and quiet.</p>
<p>Jeepers - parents should not have to shell out $$ for hotel rooms for their kids to study/sleep - actaully the noisy roomies should be the ones outed </p>
<p>Ot is sad that it has to come to that - parents pay enough for their educations and the housing situation just bugs me - we all pay the same as the roomies - yet certainly don't don't get a fair shake at all.</p>
<p>"Jeepers - parents should not have to shell out $$ for hotel rooms for their kids to study/sleep - actaully the noisy roomies should be the ones outed "</p>
<p>Well pretty much it's the entire floor(s) on the weekends. Sometimes my D is right dab in the middle of the merry making, so it's hard to be too critical, when some nights you are the giggler, weekends though.... </p>
<p>What's funny is finals week... it's quiet time lockdown after 10 pm for "finals". :) that's where the same semester long won't go to bed kids try to save their butts in the last five days of semester.....</p>
<p>Opie: Actually, that is not true for all dorms. There are dorms that are quiet; they typically do not house very many freshmen. You have to know which ones they are (and that's very easy to determine), but they're certainly at the campus where Atlmom's daughter is.</p>
<p>Atlmom: I agree with JeepMom. While putting her up in a hotel room solves the problem temporarily for her, you should not have to do that. I also think the school, the RA, the Dean, and Housing would be horrified to know that someone felt he/she had to resort to that. </p>
<p>I suspect you are correct, though, that there may be more girls who feel like your daughter does. Someone has to take the initiative to speak up, though. I'm glad she's handling it; hopefully, things will improve. If she has any doubts, though, it will be easier for her to move at the beginning of the semester than later on.</p>
<p>The mechanical issues last semester almost forced us to do this. I finally put my foot down emailed everyone, dean, director of housing and demanded THEY pay the bill if she could not stay where she was.....we got some action needless to say. We did not have to do this and my D really did not want to pack up her stuff then, I am sure she will feel the same and get pretty testy if push comes to shove and take care of it. </p>
<p>I think kids get tired of this routine of binge drinking (excessive drinking instead of one or two) and want to sleep....need sleep ...and most are good students wanting to do well. There are a few that have to adjust to living on their own while respecting others. </p>
<p>Interestingly todays college paper had lots of articles on legal consequences of drinking underage and consequences of doing it in dorms. They admitted it can be as light as a handslap or removal from housing.....so maybe it will stir some action by the R.A.s and administration to keep it reasonable. i think d does not mind the people having fun although she wishes it was not with drinking, she just wants some reasonableness and respect for those not so merry. At least its out there!!! She is going to see how this week goes.</p>
<p>At my alma mater (#1 LAC), when my d. did a Thursday overnight, the women in the dorm (who were drinking, though relatively quietly) said they were disturbed by the partying in the next entryway that went on four or five times a week into the wee hours. When my d. asked what would happen if she really didn't want to live next to such behavior, they looked at her like she was nuts. </p>
<p>The Dean says things will change AFTER the first death.</p>