My daughter-- the one who has anxiety to begin with – had a scary encounter last year at her job.
The guy she was working with left the store for a minute or two-- putting out the garbage or chatting with friends in the parking lot.
A customer didn’t like the availability of flavors. So he reached over the counter and grabbed her by the neck. She was just frozen, didn’t know what to do. After a moment, he let go, asked whether they had cameras, paid for his stuff and left.
We filed a police report, but I’m sure he’ll never be back.
And my 17 year old daughter, the one with anxiety, went back to that place and continues to work there. She knows it was a one in a million thing-- that lunatic could just as easily freaked out at McDonalds or Dunkin Donuts or behind the wheel of a car. Her boss did install better cameras, both in the store and the parking lot.
I worked restaurants for 20 years where I live in a beach resort area. Try dealing with families after they’ve been cooped up in their hotel rooms with two kids and its been raining for several days. Not fun. They run out of money, patience and vacation time and take it out on anyone and everyone. My D works two waitressing jobs this summer. She has learned to let it roll off her back when someone starts yelling at her. When you average $30/hour cash, its easier to do than if you are making minimum wage. I just tell her to keep counting her $$ in her head while they are yelling LOL
If you’re intuitive, I think the experience can be assumed without actually going through it (minimum wage and all). And if I were in such a situation, I’d let rationale come before emotion. I’m on the less assertive side for the sake of those serving me though. If they make a mistake on my order sometimes I’ll let it go… Also I’ve been in parties where the server will get mad at you for pointing out their mistake…
Same assertiveness deal at work as clients of a software company. Just that some not to point out anyone specific are too assertive demanding patches to items that don’t really impact business flow. – We have a contract and they need to fulfil it! (In my head but yeah we’re giving them a bunch of unprioritized stuff to work on)
Also, I did apply to a bunch of service jobs after graduating college so I was in that ballpark hunting for money needed for graduate school and by the time I started getting interviews 4 months later as retail season neared, I was already offered my current job.
I absolutely agree with everyone indicating that these types of jobs can humble you.
As an adult, I try to given the “kids” serving me a WIDE berth when it comes to their service for me.
DD2 developed a thick skin with the first job she had, as a clerk, at a drug store.
DD1 has no patience (her words and mine) and only did one summer job at a coffee shop. She said she wouldn’t do it because “people are mean”. She’s been lucky with jobs and only took summer jobs where she did office “gophering”.
Having employees is no picnic either in the ‘real’ world so it is a good thing to practice patience will all kinds of people (and yes my kids all have or had service jobs) – my husband employs truck drivers. One guy in the first week managed to get pulled over by the police (we ended up with a very large citation) and get into an accident. He told my husband he was rear-ended but the policeman SAW him blow through the red light and then BACK into the car behind him when he realized it (yeah after a not so safe sudden stop). THEN when he lost his job with us he posted scathing things about OUR company online. SIGH the entitlement is EVERYWHERE
It’s been my experience that adults will be especially hard on young women working in hospitality. Just my opinion, but there’s something about young + female that signals TARGET (for a customer’s rage). One look, and a short tempered customer is already assuming incompetent idiot.
If there’s a good mentor around or seasoned employee to copy, you can learn A LOT about how to nip these situations in the bud. Life skills in dealing with human beings. The world is full of them!
When our kids would complain, we’d sometimes play the game, “What would you do if it was your business?” This prompted some good discussions over the years.
And if anyone is interested in Buddhism, loads of opportunties to practice, practice, practice in hospitality!
Ugh, it’s even in “good” jobs that you have problems with people. One guy is threatening to sue us because his house renovations cost more than his budget. Umm, we’re the structural engineers - we just design the structural components to support all the crap the architect needs. We can’t price toilets, hardwood flooring, etc. But the guy is an attorney, so we’ll probably end up giving him a couple of thousand dollars. We are NEVER going to work for an attorney again.
My D’s first job at a mall was an eye opener. A father came in with his teenage daughter. She went to the dressing room and he proceeded to hit on my daughter. He came back a couple of times without his daughter and hit on her. She was really freaking out. Mall security said to call them if she had any more issues. She ended up quitting the job.
S has been really lucky. The worst he has had was as a camp counselor when the kids in his cabin all came down with a stomach virus. He had a lot o cleaning up to do. His job at an office supply store was easy and went well and he has worked with veterinarians since then.
I hate the whole “You’re going to college so you don’t have to do this job” attitude. Working retail is honorable work, and people who do it should not be treated like dirt. Teach your kids to respect their fellow human beings no matter what job they do.
This is why I respect people who work those jobs. I know how much crap they have to take for the lousy pay, so I always try to be friendly and tip nicely.
My roommate and I went to a (chain) restaurant last night. They happened to have a TON of parties and were short-staffed and were just slammed. The waitress was immediately upfront with us about everything. It was fine, we weren’t in a rush.
I couldn’t (ok, I could) believe some of the comments lobbed at this poor waitress. Nothing was her fault and she didn’t stop once.
We tipped even better than normal (and we tip well as it is). I really wanted to snap at the other customers but I’m too much of a chicken.
It’s not an attitude that it’s okay to treat retail or service workers that way. We didn’t want to work those jobs for a career, and we want our kids to have a choice too when they graduate from college. Some will choose retail or sales, or owning a restaurant, but most will choose professional jobs.
I started working at 13 and I think I’ve done every office job from mailroom to VP. I think I treat those who are in the jobs I have had much better than some who started at the top. I took into consideration how my secretary liked to work (get everything done early, leave on time) much more than the others who thought nothing of leaving a stack of typing for her late in the day. If a phone was ringing, I picked it up. Coming back from the mailroom, bring the faxes and save the secretary a trip. Doesn’t mean I ever want to go back to working in the mailroom or that I think less of those who do.
I’ve been working across the street from a McD’s that is also the ‘headquarters’ for a lot of homeless people. It’s convenient for me to grab and iced coffee or snack. I am so impressed with the owner and the workers who are always kind to the homeless, who let them inside when it is cold, who treat them with as much respect as they can. They have rules, they do not give out free food or refills, they do not allow pets or shopping carts inside, but they do help them out if they can. It would be so much nicer for me if those homeless weren’t allowed inside, but it’s not all about me, is it? I can buy what I need and take it to my office. The workers are always very nice to me too.
My daughter teaches swim lessons and some of the parents are a nightmare. She loves the kids though. One mom told her that she expected her preschool aged son (who was afraid to put his face in the water) to be swimming across the pool after 2 weeks of half hour a day lessons or she wanted her money back.
The irate parent was not arguing whether or not Minute Maid makes apple juice but that the product produced by MM does not qualify as apple juice by her “refined” palate.
DS worked as a youth volunteer at the zoo during high school. They had a week of training for all the youth volunteers at the beginning of each summer. Can’t quite recall but at least a half a day or maybe a full day of that training was set aside for “customer relations training”. Much of that was how to handle problem customers, defuse issues and at what point to escalate to management. So happy that zoo management was proactive about this.
We are NEVER going to work for an attorney again.