<p>Wondering for those of you with kids who are away at boarding school during the year (as we may have one in that boat come fall), do you tend to want them to be home during the summer to get more family time? Do they tend to want to be home for the same reason...or are they so independent that they have the confidence and desire to spend summers away too?</p>
<p>If they are gone for the summer, do you miss having the truly 'live' with you for any long portion of the year? If they are home, is it hard having the new independent child home?</p>
<p>taben1112 - my DS spent several weeks during the first summer after his freshman year away from home for an accelerated math program. During the second summer he spent several weeks in Germany on a summer study program. However, this summer he will be home and I am extremely pleased to have him back.</p>
<p>Funny. Our summer with the kids begins in two weeks and I was wondering what the first summer related post would be. I was thinking about “Anybody nervous?”</p>
<p>Our first BS kid is finishing second year. Last summer was fantastic. Getting to know her again, seeing all the positive new changes, being a family… it was ALL good. She did her own laundry, LOVED cooking, and drove little brother when needed. And while I am counting the minutes till both kids come home now that they are both gone, I am also aware that I have gotten used to a neat house, manageable food bills, minimal laundry etc. and having two semi-adults home after eight months away feels a little scary. </p>
<p>The real unknown is how second child, who is MUCH more social, will navigate his home turf. I wonder if he will encounter resentment (massive budget cuts here) and more drinking/drugs (some local friends have been caught) and if we will need to say no to social events for the first time. </p>
<p>But I can’t imagine them not being home for the summer. It’s an adjustment, but oh, I’ll take it!!</p>
<p>Re-reading your question, though, I think you’re asking about whether to have kids spend the summer at home or not. For us, this isn’t an option since BS has depleted summer enrichment funds. But if we did have the funds, I would send them MAYBE to a few short camps. I believe they both feel that they are not ready to be gone for good and enjoy getting grounded at home for the summer. It helps that we live in a vacation spot with lots of great summer day trip options. </p>
<p>This is when I really feel the difference between college-bound and BS bound. Summer away for developing teens is just way outside my comfort zone.</p>
<p>I wish the kids would stay home but after two weeks with old friends at the pool, they are ready to move on. D is taking college credit courses for 5 weeks and S will be in Europe at summer school for 4 weeks. They both chose to take the academic route vs. a summer job or a leisure vacation. I just go with the flow. This spring break we used college visits as mini vacations with the kids.</p>
<p>Last year, kid wanted to come home and then was bored to tears–old friends just not connecting anymore. Still, he worked a lot, went to two short camps, and hung out with us. This year, he actively sought out a longer term activity away from home. It’s a great opportunity, and he’ll still be home for a month, but it’s hard on us parents. It’ll be interesting to see if he can earn enough money in a month to to satisfy spending money needs next year.</p>
<p>DS will be away at Boy Scout camp for a week, working toward completing Eagle requirements, taking driver’s ed, and perhaps working 15-20 hours a week. We hope the rest of the time is spent relaxing and not being too annoyed with us.</p>
<p>I’m writing this from a laundromat in Wallingford (doing a huge favor for kiddo!) after attending Grandparent’s Day with my mom here at the school yesterday. DS is so busy with end-of-school activities (making a cardboard sailing vessel for the Physics Phlotilla next week to sail across the science center pond) that he barely has time for lunch and dinner with us today. He’ll be home in a couple of weeks when I keep thinking he’ll be “mine” again, but I wonder if he ever will. It will be interesting to see what the family dynamic is this summer. The change in him from last year to this year is beyond quantifying. He is simply not the same kid. I have some anxiety. He’ll be mostly at home, but I have a strange feeling that we’re taking in a boarder.</p>
<p>“Summer away [on top of school year away] for developing teens is just way outside my comfort zone.”</p>
<p>I’m with wcmom1958 on this point…SevenDaughter’s not in college yet, so what’s the rush? Also +1 on the the “where ever did those summer enrichment funds disappear to?!?” part. ;-P</p>
<p>But these are both just convenient covers for the fact that my wife and I are VERY interested in spending some quality family time together again. </p>
<p>Last summer we put the kibosh on any overnight camps or programs for both girls as we really wanted to spend every possible moment together before becoming a family of 3+1. This summer isn’t much different.</p>
<p>I think SevenDaughter is trying to line up some volunteer work at a local animal shelter.</p>
<p>I absolutely did not want my daughter to go away for any type of camp this summer. I miss having her home and am looking forward to getting to spend 24/7 with her. We talk all year about the places we have visited or restaurants we have gone to and that we can’t wait to take her when she gets home.</p>
<p>I think I mentioned somewhere previously, DS had done lifeguard certification this spring at school in prep for a summer job away from home. There are many reasons we are okay with this: the job is at a private family camp (like a chautauqua), so even when we aren’t there, his grandparents, aunts, cousins and other longtime family friends will be cycling through. We’ll get more intel from them than we’d ever get directly for him. Plus he’ll make some good money, and get to spend 10 weeks in one of the most beautiful places on earth. And we’ll be there with our other kids for somewhere between a week and 2 weeks. In fact, this is how his mother & I first met–working there when when WE were 15–which is freaking all of us out more than a little bit!</p>
<p>It sounds as if many of his LC classmates are looking for more “serious” work: internships, further academic enrichment, etc. I feel like a good old fashioned summer job is just fine, especially the summer between 9th/10th. The world can wait one more year.</p>
<p>Our son will be heading to the Phillipines for 3 weeks to shoot a documentary with classmates. This is the summer after Sophmore year. Freshman year he was invited to head to Europe for spring break and Tahoe for winter skiing. We said no to both. As they get older it is harder to stop them from pursuing such great opportunites. One of the things we love about the boarding school experience is the international friends they have made.</p>
<p>When I agreed to send D to boarding school it was under the condition she would spend summers at home. ( If she had gone to the local high school she would have done summer away programs, so we just reversed things). She works at a local summer camp during the summers and catches up with old friends. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having her away from home all year at this age. I like to have time to catch up and make sure she is still on the right track emotionally.</p>
<p>There’s actually plenty of time for all. DS will spend a couple weeks at Yale doing a project; then is doing some volunteer work in the community. May also find time for a week of crew camp. Family is doing 10 days of traveling outside the country.</p>
<p>This postings were very helpful. Our daughter heads away to school in the fall and so we are already wishing she were home more this summer. I get the feeling that this one of our kids will often find travels and experiences…and come home just for respites! Boy, I will sure miss her as I LIKE hanging out with her!
Our son is not looking to go away but he interacts very little at home so the dynamics are very different. I LIKE him too (and love them both), but he is not much of a touchy/feely hang out with the parents kind of guy. :(</p>
<p>D is headed off to BS in the fall, and I keep hearing from other families (and students that she knows at several other schools) about their plans for pretty hard-core academic programs or volunteer stints in far-flung, exotic locations during summer vacations. A friend who is a BS faculty mentioned to me that with college admission becoming so competitive, more and more students are signing up for these ‘extreme’ summer programs not only because they have a real interest, but b/c it will help their college apps. Listening to them, it sounds like the days of spending mundane summer vacations babysitting, lifeguarding and working at the ice cream shop are rapidly becoming obsolete. I know that I won’t want D spending summers away when she’ll be gone at BS all year… Just wondering what those of you who are experienced BS parents are actually seeing/hearing about summer plans.</p>
<p>^^DC repeating last summer’s experience, life guarding away from home. But we are going to a special admissions event for legacies at my alma mater next weekend, and probably doing a few other college visits this summer. School is providing a lot of travel/service opportunities in session–I still feel like there’s value to a job, especially life guarding, and to some genuine downtime (along with all the assigned reading for AP US History, etc…)</p>
<p>This will be my D’s first summer home. At the top of her agenda is “hanging out with friends”, but I have a lot of trouble believing that the 15 year olds she knows at home are just hanging around with nothing to do all summer. We came to a good compromise - 2 weeks at sleepaway camp as a CIT, rowing with a local club, part-time mother’s helper with a family we know, and a family trip.</p>
<p>I do find myself thinking that she should spend her time in an “enriching” way, but I don’t want her to be away all summer and I think she doesn’t need it after working extremely hard in school all year. Plus, being a CIT and mother’s helper is just the type of “enrichment” that a high schooler who attends an excellent school needs over the summer. I am sure there are many peers padding their resumes in all sorts of ways - I recently spoke to a friend of DD’s from school who is spending her summer volunteering in Africa, taking a French program in France, and doing a math program away from home - but that’s just not our thing.</p>
<p>This summer, ChoatieKid has stepped up to several leadership positions in his Boy Scout troop that will amount to a full-time job as his troop has lost several adult leaders recently. He will earn his Eagle rank before September, which will include being away for one week attending High Adventure, another week leading younger scouts at the annual all-troop camp, and (finally) completing his Eagle project. Also, he is bartering his main EC skillset in exchange for guided strength training with a local fitness company to prepare to compete at a higher level in his BS sport next year. He’s also dragging us to tour his two top college choices, one of which he’s mentally moved into. Ugh. I really don’t want to think about next year yet. Where has the time gone?</p>
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<p>Just went back and read my first post on this thread. ChoatieKid ended up doing an internship last summer. This summer he’ll get his driver’s license–one more thing to worry about.</p>