<p>i just need a few tips on how to make this sentence better....its in the intro and it's for a prestigious summer program, lets call it X...</p>
<p>Summer is a time to break away from school and all the work that comes with it, but as for me it is a chance to further my knowledge and explore new and rewarding experiences, and the programs offered by X is the best opportunity to do just that.</p>
<p>i dno
i just dont like the fact that its wordy…
havent really dug into the context but i suggest that you revise your wording a bit…</p>
<p>I’d modify the first sentence so it addresses that this is what other people, not myself feel. Then I’d end the sentence, and address my own views in a new sentence. Right now you’re trying to fit too much in one sentence.</p>
<p>I can see how it is wordy…which is why I’m not a good writer…anyway I’m starting a new sentence, but I really don’t know how to finish it…</p>
<p>As junior year ends and my penultimate summer before college launches…</p>
<p>am I starting it awkardly? which is why I don’t know what to write afterwards…please help! I don’t know why i suck at writing so much!</p>
<p>I think you should stick with the original sentence with a few modifications. For example, try avoiding weak linking verbs such as “is” because action verbs make the writing more powerful and it will stand out from other essays (and not seem colloquial). Also, be specific about the one program in which your interest lies and say something about that program that most appeals to you.</p>
<p>Here’s what I would suggest:</p>
<p>Many students view summer break as an opportunity to relieve themselves of the burdens of a busy school year, but I consider it a chance to further my knowledge by exploring new and rewarding experiences (in this topic), and I believe (specific program) will offer me the best prospects of doing so.</p>
<p>Okay, calm down. Now, this is a list of things that I take into account when writing that I think will greatly help you in your predicament:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>First and foremost: just write a rough draft; make sure to do it in a natural manner, there is no reason to insert genteel words like “penultimate” in your first draft. Do not edit, do not fiddle, just write. And above all do not expect your first draft to come out wonderfully, or even okay. When asked about writing, and his first drafts Hemingway was credited to say, “The first draft of anything is *****.”, trust me, most professional writers do not have prose dripping from their lips at their first go of it. Many of the best writers in history were the ones who persevered and continually edited and improved their work. </p></li>
<li><p>Let it sit for a while.</p></li>
<li><p>Begin editing.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>i. Eschew surplusage (a.k.a be concise, brevity is the soul of wit)</p>
<p>ii. Correct any sections that are overwritten or overstated.</p>
<p>iii. Make sure that your points are clear and concise, do not cloud your meaning with purple prose.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Let the given piece sit overnight after editing. This is in order to prevent the sin of over editing. Above all, do not continually scrap your work and start again.</p></li>
<li><p>Read your piece aloud, this will help you find grammatical errors and linguistic mistakes.</p></li>
<li><p>Edit again, let sit, etc…</p></li>
<li><p>Find ONE person to read your piece and edit if you need external help. Giving your piece to many people to edit usually ends with a jumbled writing piece.</p></li>
<li><p>Make final edits, continue to read everything out loud.</p></li>
<li><p>Finish!</p></li>
</ol>
<p>As an after-note: never procrastinate. Despite what people say about working under pressure, writing is a process. It intrinsically takes time, remember Rome was not built in a day.</p>
<p>Also, please note that this is in no way a complete or comprehensive guide to writing just a list of suggestions that I came up off of the top of my head while working on writing a speech of my own. If you would really like a complete and comprehensive guide to writing I strongly suggest that you pick up “The Elements of Style” by Strunk and White, and “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser. I do not care what the few bad reviews on Amazon say, those two books are the best when it comes to the basics of writing well.</p>
<p>thanks for those tips…i think they really did help; although when I write such a bad rough draft I find it very difficult to make it better…I guess i need a lot more practice…(shrug shoulders)…thanks anyway =)</p>