<p>I think, FWIW, that there’s 2 key issues- his dislike of academic work and your anxiety over his college admissions. </p>
<p>Firstly, maybe college isn’t right for him just yet. Or even ever. Some people, particularly guys take a year or two longer to mature intellectually. Further, there are lots of satisfying, perfectly well paid jobs that don’t require the study or expense of a 4 year college degree. </p>
<p>It might also be frustrating for him if both college and ‘art’ have been chosen for him, albeit with the best intentions in the world. Sometimes what we enjoy and what we struggle with in school when graded can be the same thing. Ask him what kind of jobs he’d like if money or ability wasn’t important. Promise not to laugh. It might tease out some new ideas. His behavior right now tells you he’s neither ready or wants to go to art school or college. </p>
<p>Therefore, maybe ask if he’s had a thought about doing something other than college/art school? Maybe he’d enjoy the Americorps program, travelling/working abroad, the military, hospitality, becoming an outdoor activities instructor etc. Becoming a chef he’d be able to go straight in at the bottom and work his way up with sheer hardwork and determination.</p>
<p>If he’d prefer going straight to school, maybe a technical college would be better. Auto mechanic, law enforcement, engineering technician, landscape gardening, carpentry, electrician, plumber, catering etc. </p>
<p>As for your own worries, you obviously want to see your son achieve his highest potential. And you want to guide and support him as best you can. However, the less calm and non-plussed about it all you are, the harder it will be for him to understand your anxieties and for both of you to communicate. I’d like to you to google about successful people who didn’t go to or finish a 4 year school to reassure yourself that this is a perfectly viable, acceptable and positive option for your son. </p>
<p>Pull well back. Tell him you’re backing off because you’ve read the signs. Call an art school amnesty. Take him out for a casual dinner to chat about if he’d had any alternative ideas. Ask what his friends are planning to do? Find out if he’s got any concerns? Let his ideas lead the discussion. If he’s not forthcoming, just let him enjoy your company without being hassled about college. </p>
<p>I am one of 3 girls. I went to uni and have a teaching cert. I’m currently unemployed due to mental health problems.</p>
<p>My middle sister went straight into the airforce as an aircraft technician. She’s gone to college in her late 20s as a single mom and is due to graduate this summer with honors.</p>
<p>My youngest sister left school and did a series of assorted jobs. Once of these was a temporary job for a railroad company. They encouraged her to apply for a full time vacancy. She’s worked there full time for many years now would be train driver by now if her little daughter hadn’t happened… My grad school educated friend and I weep at her salary.</p>