<p>Academics, sports, extracurriculars - our kids know how to excel at these activities. But what happens when they get into the college of their dreams, and we realize that they have no clue how to perform simple household tasks? </p>
<p>What are things you feel your child should know before heading off to live on his/her own? What are quick and easy ways of getting these chores done so that s/he can concentrate on classwork? Hopefully, these discussions will be a helpful resource for your college student. And who knows? Your clueless spouse may also benefit from a few tips!</p>
<p>As of the first day of HS, my DS and DD did their own laundry, cleaned their rooms and bathroom (which they shared). Also, for about a year they each had to plan and prepare a meal once a week until I was comfortable that they knew what they were doing. They switch off doing dishes etc. as well. College was no problem. btw… I am the DH, I work at home and the wife works out of the house. We shared the training though :-))</p>
<p>I just had a conversation with a friend last night about the fact that our kids had no idea how to use a checkbook. I remember when they were in middle school they had an exercise on it, but in their reality, that was the last time that they ever had to go near one. Now that DD is in her off campus apartment, she actually has to use checks to pay her landlord. Now balancing a checkbook?</p>
<p>I don’t use checks. I pay everything online. I don’t balance my checkbook, because online balance is real time (including checks I send out). D1 is on her own now, she also sends out checks online and gets her balance same way as I do. Even when it comes to purchasing, we use our debit cards sometimes, never a check.</p>
<p>The younger generation uses a checking account differently from the way we old fogies do. They rely heavily on the debit card and the online account information, rather than checks and paper statements. But it doesn’t hurt for them to learn how to actually write a check (after which they may have to learn how to mail it to its destination – many have no idea how to address an envelope or where to put a stamp because postal mail is the one form of communication that they don’t use).</p>
<p>Some kids may need to be re-trained about the use of medicine. After attending public schools where carrying medicine could get you expelled, they may need to be explicitly taught that in “real” (i.e., post-high school) life, people who are subject to symptoms that may need treatment (e.g., women who are prone to menstrual cramps) SHOULD carry the medicine to treat those symptoms. </p>
<p>There are other issues pertaining to medication. Over the years, my medicine-savvy kids have had to teach their friends that (1) you’re supposed to take all of the pills in an antibiotic prescription, even if your symptoms have gone away, (2) you have to be careful not to take multiple non-prescription drugs that contain acetaminophen, (3) if you’re taking a prescription drug, you need to ask the pharmacist whether it’s OK to take a non-prescription medicine on top of it and whether it’s OK to drink alcohol while you’re taking it, and (4) your meds go in the bag you carry with you when traveling, not in your checked luggage or a suitcase that might remain for many hours in a hot car. </p>
<p>A lot of young people don’t know these things because they’ve never had to manage their own use of medicines before.</p>
<p>Our son also did household chores like laundry, basic cooking and cleaning thru high school. In addition he helped with basic car maintenance like changing oil/filter, tires, lights, plugs, fuses, flushing the radiator and checking tire pressures. He also had his name added to our credit card for use in emergencies only.</p>
<p>Somewhat more controversially, we allowed him to drink a glass of wine whenever we served it during a meal which was usually only during holiday celebrations during his sr year of hs. This seemed to view wine, beer as beverages vs method of getting sideways.</p>
<p>In one week Son2 will be getting a crash course on the fact that it is possible to touch your body or face with a towel more than one time before it needs to be washed. He’ll also be learning that clothes do not need to be washed unless they are actually dirty, and multiple changes of fresh clothes every day (one set for classes, change for running and then a whole new set of clothes after showering, for example) are not necessary. </p>
<p>While we have tried to teach these lessons through the years, the best teacher is usually a good dose of reality, multiplied by the number of hours per week he is willing to spend in the dorm laundry room. ;)</p>
<p>Laundry basics. How to cook a few simple meals that they enjoy. Kitchen sanitary basics (i.e. don’t use same plate for raw hamburger then the cooked one without washing it.) Make sure they know their medical history. How to comparison shop for groceries. Basic banking. How to clean a toilet.</p>
<p>We never had the luxury of being able to wait on our kids hand and foot as they were growing up so I never really worried about their ability to fend for themselves. What is interesting is to see if their patterns change.</p>
<p>I admire parents who teach their kids household basics early on. I know of too many people who grew up not having to learn them, and then somehow manage to do the same throughout college. One extreme case was a highly intelligent guy whose parents showed up at this apartment once a month to clean his apartment, do his laundry, and stock his fridge until he finally finished grad school and got married!</p>
<p>At a college info session panel, one student said two of the most important things your kids should learn before leaving for college are laundry and how to wake up in the morning on their own.</p>
<p>Multiple alarm clocks, set a couple of minutes apart, all out of reach of the bed. At least one should be battery operated. Don’t rely on your cell phone as your only alarm clock; you might forget to recharge it.</p>
<p>Both of my kids wanted cell phones badly when they were young and were allowed to get them at the age of 13, on the condition that they had to then start getting themselves up. I didn’t care if it was with the phone alarm or another alarm (Marian is right, phones may not be charged, battery operated ones may go dead, the electricty may go out in the middle of the night.) The kid just needed to figure it out and get up on time. </p>
<p>I figured that if they were not ready for the responsiblity of getting themselves up on time at 13, then they were not ready for the right to have a phone.</p>
<p>One great way to accomplish several things is having an electronic vacuum cleaner, Roomba. S used it to help minimize allergens in his dwelling as well as help wake him up (it can be programmed to go off at the same time EVERY DAY). It was a great backup alarm clock for him & would even bump into his bed frame while whirring about picking up dust.</p>
<p>Important for them to know what to do if they lose their ID & wallet–file police report & make report to credit bureaus (much more common among college students than you might think).</p>
<p>RE checks - there are times when a check is needed because credit/debit cards are not accepted. My daughter had to learn how to write a check and how to deposit one into her account, not a skill she uses very often but it is needed.</p>
<p>Doing laundry at college is different than at your home, most kids throw everything in together for speed and reduced cost (and quarters supply) so it’s really important that you emphasize those items that should not be commercially washed or items that might bleed with the first few washings.</p>
<p>How many of our kids know how to address an envelope? I had to teach my daughter how to do that also. They did it in elementary school but not since. Again, not used frequently, but when it’s needed it’s nice to know!</p>
<p>My D1 knows a young man at her school that receives a NEW set of bed sheets (by mail) from his Mom every month. Guess she really accepts the reality that he’ll never wash his sheets lol</p>
<p>well, d admits she rarely washes her bedding but recently has realized that infrequent washing DOES cause her allergies to kick up which is a much more direct and important consequence and IS causing her to pay more attention to the state of her bedding. seems like things are working ok & she’s washing her bedding this summer MUCH more regularly than previously.</p>
<p>Basic guidelines for storing food (do not refrigerate a half used can of tomato paste, etc.) and when and how to conclude that food has spoiled and is no longer safe to eat. How to buy enough meat for several days and use some immediately, marinate some, cook and refrigerate some, and freeze the rest. How to shop in a budget and keep an eye our for discounts. (They usually figure that out when it is their own money to spend, I suppose.)</p>