Suspended from school...college chances, helped needed please

<p>The OP might request a dozen sealed official transcripts to provide to her new school for applications; then open one to see exactly what it says. When my daughter transfered high schools, that is what I did. Not for the same reason, but in our case the new school put the first school’s sealed transcript in when the applications were sent in.</p>

<p>As an example of the kind of language involved in college applications asking students about their disciplinary history, here’s the language from the Common App:</p>

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<p>What makes answering this question difficult is that the school did not officially suspend, remove , dismiss or expel OP from the school. The question seems to require not only a disciplinary violation but also an official act by the school as punishment for the violation. In this case, the school chose not to put anything on the record…they just told her to take the last week of school off and don’t come back in the fall.</p>

<p>I would answer that question yes and state something along the following:</p>

<p>“At the end of my jujnior year, I was caught stealing personal property from another student. The private school I attended required that I attend another school for my senior year.”</p>

<p>Private schools can kick students out much easier than public schools, and adcoms know this. What you did was not bad enough to deny you into college in general, unless you are applying at an uber elite private school. There are many who will take you, and perhaps even SMU will.</p>

<p>Why did the school act as they did? An official action would trigger due process hearings–maybe it was too much trouble to go through, especially at the end of the year. Maybe the school didn’t want a permanent blotch to be on OP’s record, but also didn’t want her around anymore. Maybe the school didn’t want publicity.</p>

<p>If this incident had happened during the year, I suspect that the OP would have been given the opportunity to voluntarily withdraw from school. A voluntary withdrawal (no matter the reason) does not seem to trigger disclosure.</p>

<p>I was really busy yesterday so I didnt get to check my thread, but I appreciate all of the advice that all of you have given to me, thanks!!!</p>

<p>Many prep schools permit students to voluntarily withdraw from school rather than be expelled. Just as folks are permitted to resign jobs rather than be fired. </p>

<p>It is quite true that the OP was not technically in any of the categories that the disciplinary action question lists. That was why my son’s friend was able to answer “no”. But upon acceptance, he got nervous that the school might look at it differently. So he came clean. Though they did not rescind his acceptance, they felt he needed some time off before going to college. I know another young man in a similar situation that had a similar result with Brown University. Both kids had their problems in their senior year. I’ve known kids who have had infractions earlier, and reported them with no problems getting into selective schools.</p>

<p>However, when we are talking about schools as selective as HPY and co, why should they accept anyone with a blotch on their record unless there is something truly outstanding and unusual about the student when they have so many applicants that are worthy of acceptance that have managed to stay out of trouble? If your mistake keeps you out of a top college, so be it. Do well at whatever college and transfer. By then the incident would have very little weight in the admissions decision. Or graduate schools where you won’t have to deal with the question. It’s not the end of the world that some colleges are not going to want to have you because of the infraction.</p>

<p>The reason was because my school being a top school did not want my theft getting out and tainting the school’s name & reputation. I’m sure it will eventually get out but not for some time, they told a lot of people it was because of lack of significant financial aid avaliable to me and they asked the student not to speak about it and they orderd all administrators and teachers involved not to speak about it and to get rid of any rumors saying otherwise.</p>

<p>I know it was a really stupid mistake I just ant to use this instance as a stepping block in order to propel me into completing my lifetime goals.</p>

<p>Truly looking back i feel like it was me trying to act out, I htink I was tired of being perfect and my parents had a really bad divorce a few years ago that i never got over and my father just remarried and my mom is going through another divorce. However that is not excuse for what I did it’s just anothe afctor.</p>

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<p>The OP didn’t say anything about HPY. She said her top choice is Southern Medodist University in Dallas, TX…</p>

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<p>That’s fine. We all do dumb things from time to time. That’s why I don’t think it will hurt you to simply state what happened on the application. You’ll be clean, honest, and likely get into the schools that you want to get into.</p>

<p>When I applied to work at my company, they asked if I had any criminal convictions that resulted in a fine over $100. I had two - speeding and failure to yield. I stated the facts on my application. Were they concerned? Of course not. However, if I didn’t put them down, that would have been fraud and very bad.</p>

<p>bigtrees I really appreciate your advic, yea I definitley will tell the truth on the application, it will help to alleviate a big weight that would otherwise be heavy set on my shoulders</p>

<p>SMU was on my son’s list. They accepted him and offered him a $5K merit award knowing of his infraction fully.</p>

<p>yes I really hope I get in, I’m applying to UT also but I’m not in the top 10% but I am oing to try and get into some of thier honors programs if possible</p>

<p>I would argue that the OP was “removed” from the school and WOULD have to answer the question in the affirmative. It is close, though.
I don’t think this will keep you out of SMU.</p>

<p>^^ Little chance of getting into UT if you are not in the top 10%. I thought all the in-state slots were used up in the top 8%.</p>

<p>You’ve received a lot of good advice. Here’s my takeaway:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I agree the word “removal” presents a strong argument for revelation.</p></li>
<li><p>Note that college applications may not be the end of questions exploring your moral compass by inquiring about transgressions. So, in the future, you could be posed a question that unequivocally requires you to reveal the theft, whether it’s a scholarship application, an employment application, a morals/background inquiry of the type required for many jobs and professions, etc. Why set yourself up for charges of telling two different stories when you know in your heart the spirit of all such questions is the same?</p></li>
<li><p>Yes, words and “signals” get out in the college application community. No matter what assurances the private HS gives you, if an admission officer is on the phone with the GC or other personnel there, a carefully worded answer…or even what is not said…can both comply with the school’s promise to you and at the same time signal the admission officer that there is more to the story.</p></li>
<li><p>You have cross-posted this request to at least two forums and used so many identifiers, it will be very easy for an industrious college admission officer to put 2 + 2 together. </p></li>
<li><p>It seems you recognize, yourself, that admitting you made a mistake is key to recovering from it. Continuing a course to cover it up will make you feel bad/haunted and promotes a denial mentality, IMO. By owning up to it, even when arguably you don’t have to, you do show character. It’s essential that you couple your admission with a demonstration of remorse, full appreciation of the consequences and actual application of lessons learned to your life since then. You need to address repayment of the victim (I could have missed it, but I saw no mention of that), compliance with school requests in the aftermath, recognition that this was a criminal act and acknowledgement of the benefit you received by the victim’s restraint from prosecution, what counseling/guidance you’ve sought, why you’re confident this was a one time thing, etc. The Catch-22 is, you’ll need to boil this down to a short and straightforward statement that gives sufficient information but doesn’t overshadow your presentation as a worthy candidate. Definitely get your GC to assist.</p></li>
<li><p>This is a tough one to figure out, but if there is a teacher, coach, activity sponsor or other adult who knew you well at your former HS and was shocked by what you did, yet based on your behavior before and in the aftermath, continues to support you, viewing this as a one time lapse, consider whether that person could/would write a strong recommendation for you. (Not sure if SMU requires recs; if they don’t, but invite supplementation, this might be something to submit? I don’t know–hopefully, your new GC will have a good feel for what strategy will be best for you in working with SMU.)</p></li>
<li><p>And yes! There are many other good schools in Texas. Start exploring them now, some may be an even better fit for you than SMU, you never know until you investigate. Re: UT, note the current entry bar is top 8% not 10%, and their honors programs are very challenging to get into. Not saying you can’t do it, but emphasizing that you need to expand your search.</p></li>
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<p>You did a crummy thing, but as huge as it feels to you right now, it’s a misstep from which you can and will recover. Take the gift of a second chance, use it wisely and go forward and do great things!</p>

<p>Please don’t post the answer to this, but think about it? (I agree with the previous poster about confidentiality)</p>

<p>Why did you steal the money? Have you stolen before? Did you use the money to buy something that was meaningful to you or important to you (for good or bad reasons)? </p>

<p>Stealing is not a common event for high schoolers, though many young children try it out. Honestly, if this was a one time thing, treat it as that. If this is part of a bigger issue, then get some help.</p>

<p>Best of luck as you navigate this situation. Posing the question and giving it consideration is a step in the right direction.</p>

<p>I would be very concerned about colleges learning that the issue was stealing. Schools have honor codes and (in my opinion), someone who would steal $200 would be considered a risk on campus. </p>

<p>As an aside…schools like SMU are expensive. Have you determined how much your parents will spend on your education? You may find that schools like SMU are unaffordable.</p>

<p>Are you sorry that you stole $200 or just sorry that you got caught? </p>

<p>Should your college roommate be concerned that you might steal from her? </p>

<p>Had you stolen before, and is the remorse only because you were caught?</p>

<p>You definitely got the private school “advantage” of being expelled without the record stating that.</p>