<p>I have 2 questions here regarding being suspended from school.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Will having "suspended" on your transcript hurt your chances of getting into graduate school more so than "final probation"?</p></li>
<li><p>My ds should be a senior this year, but as years went on, he failed classes then stopped going to them entirely. He also did not go get the help he needed or attend meetings with people who wanted to help him. He lied to us and kept saying all was well. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>This is kind of hard to explain, but the reasons this happened were due to general anxiety disorder (he also has ADHD, Depression and an LD). It wasn't until the other day while we were talking that my ds self diagnosed his problem. He said he had social anxiety (because he is social and has friends, we changed it to GAD). My ds was petrified of authoritative people like professors and had a fear of being rejected or told no even if there was no reason for it.</p>
<p>We tried to explain to the school his situation, but all they kept saying was because he has below a 1.0 average and he waited too long in the semester to ask for a medical leave, so he is being suspended. </p>
<p>We now realize the type of help he needs and will be bringing him home for one semester. He has to take 2 classes during that time. </p>
<p>The reason we want to appeal it is because my ds could not help his behavior. It was/is a mental health issue not that he was partying, harming others or doing it on purpose. His intentions were there, but he couldn't get himself up to do what he had to do. Basically, we would like to change "suspension" to "medical leave of absence". </p>
<p>I was wondering if we have any leg to stand on.</p>
<p>I cannot comment on the medical issues, nor the appeals process, however, each school handles the transcript differently. If a suspension is due to academic dishonesty, it may never go away from the transcript. Suspensions for behavior (say alcohol violation, pranks etc.) will be erased by some schools upon re-admittance to the school. So it really varies by school and by offense.</p>
<p>Were you completely unaware that over 3 years his gpa averaged below 1.0? No report card etc.? Did he not allow you access to this information?</p>
<p>I don’t see how any school would grant a medical leave on a “self-diagnosis” of GAD. Wouldn’t you need a medical opinion in order to even ask for a medical leave?</p>
<p>We tried to explain to the school his situation, but all they kept saying was because he has below a 1.0 average and he waited too long in the semester to ask for a medical leave, so he is being suspended"
His low GPA is what is going to kill his chances at grad school. And sorry to be blunt, but if he cant succeed during his undergraduate years in college, why would you think he could possible handle grad school?</p>
You’re saying that he was the one who dx’d the issues and all of this isn’t his fault? He’s a senior now and you’re wondering if you can ask for a medical leave instead of a suspension? Whoa!</p>
<p><em>**Why did you/he wait so long to consider he had mental health issues? Was it because he “finally” got this notice from the school?
*</em><em>You’ll need to get a psychological diagnosis before this can be accepted. He’s not the professional to make this final determination and if you want the school to agree, you’ll need an outside evaluation.
*</em>*the determination of whether the college decides a medical leave vs suspension is totally dependent on the school. Every one has their own rules.
This may be a bigger issue. If you are saying your son can not take charge of his schedule, or his wake time, maybe he really shouldn’t be at school in the first place. Be careful of what you’re saying.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t even worry about grad school at this time!</p>
<p>Check for yourself what the school’s policy is on late semester withdrawals. When does the semester end? Withdrawals during the final 3 weeks of the semester are usually VERY difficult. It makes more sense from the college’s standpoint to grant an incomplete (which won’t help your S since he did so poorly throughout the semester).</p>
<p>How long have his grades been poor? Were they adequate up until this year? Where is he in terms of his major - is he a junior in his major? How is the GPA in his major? Is he diagnosed with ADHD and was the college aware? If he was clipping along well until this year you might have a wing and a prayer of getting it turned into a medical leave for depression or whatever is going on with him, but if he’s been bottoming out and barely getting by for a long time you’re going to have a tougher road. It really doesn’t matter why he failed out, what is more important is is getting to the root of his issues and not “self diagnose.”</p>
<p>You can try to get any change that you want, but I would be more focused on getting him the mental health care that he seems to need. At the end of the day, if he gets treatment and can complete school, he will be a guy with a BA or BS - and will be fine. He needs to get to a good place mentally - I wouldn’t worry so much about grad school right now.</p>
<p>Since your DS is at a LAC, I am really surprised that he doesn’t have an academic advisor who was keeping tabs on his progress & warned him & you that he was on probation.
Was he full pay?
To receive aid, you have to complete a % of courses you attempt to continue to receive aid.
If he had been failing classes previously, he wouldn’t have been able to register for more, unless he had a plan of action put in place.
Frankly, I am shocked that this didn’t happen if he just stopped going to class.
A medical leave, shouldn’t depend on when in the semester it is needed. If you have an accident right before finals, then you get a medical leave, to tell you , you should have broken your leg earlier in the qtr is ridiculous.</p>
<p>However, you need a professional diagnosis, and care should have been ongoing. If your ds had been seeing a counselor and trying to cope with ongoing problems that became too much, then a medical leave would be easier, but not a guarantee to obtain.
Sounds like he needs to come home, get evaluated and on a course of therapy before he can start to repair his school record.</p>
<p>The D of a friend got into a really bad car accident during Thanksgiving holiday one year. She got a medical leave, but it didn’t wipe out a whole semester. She was granted incompletes in her classes, with the proviso that she had until a certain date to make the incompletes up.</p>
<p>Thank you for your responses though I feel some of them were rather uncalled for. Yes, my ds has been having problems through his college career, but this semester it really hit the roof. He’s been in therapy and is on medication unfortunately he wasn’t diagnosed completely (yes he has ADHD, Depression and LD’s). Thank you especially to emeraldkitty who seemed to understand the most how I was feeling. No, we did not have access to his grades. Yes, he lied to us, but now we realize that was part of the problem he is dealing with. He’s been under psychiatric care since 3rd grade. On top of that, I cannot blame him for his actions since they were due to a mental health issue (if you have kids with problems like this, you’d be more understanding). His problem was paralyzing him from doing what he should. He tried and wanted to, but just couldn’t. He self diagnosed himself which is a big step in the right direction. Of course were not idiots and going by just that. But he now has an idea what kept him from attending classes and not seeing his professors where before all we got was “I don’t know”. He is coming home and will be getting the necessary diagnosis and treatment. The school said he has to take 2 classes, get the help and get a letter from his doctor so he can come back in the fall. They are saying this because they, as opposed to some of you who were rather hurtful (don’t you think I’m hurting enough), said, to quote the registrar who is in charge of this, 'this was not a matter of ability." My ds wants to graduate from this school, but realizes he needs help before he can return and be successful, Emeraldkitty has it right that someone at the school should have notified us when they noticed a pattern of him not going to classes. But all they said is under federal regulations, they couldn’t unless they had ds approval. They never asked for his approval so my ds didn’t know.</p>
<p>He knows exactly what he wants to do in his field which is more than a lot of his senior friends know (most are graduating without any idea as to what to do) and wants to go to grad school. All I wanted to know is if in “the future” will having a suspension on his transcript hurt his chances of getting into grad school. If so, I think I need to appeal it and change it to a medical leave (not now, but on his transcript) so it is more easy to explain and probably more accepted once he does bring his grades up (he is not a stupid kid even though he is not at an ivy which unfortunately a lot of people on CC feel is important. Matter of fact, of ALL schools in his major his school is in the top 20 of where doctoral students got their undergrad degree from. Plus, all of his classes are taught by professors, none by TA’s and the students can work directly with the professors research). </p>
<p>I hope more of you understand what a mental help problem can do to a child who is smart
and that once they understand what their problem is, can get the help and be successful in school (even his school is saying that). He does own up to what he did and is now ready to tackle the situation.</p>
<p>I think this will be the last time I use this site since not many of you seem to understand that all kids are not perfect and even though having good grades in high school, being a member of many clubs and getting 700’s on the SAT (my ds) does not guarantee that a student will not have any problems in college. Nor is it necessary to attend a top tier named school to be HAPPY and successful in life. I do wonder what happens to all the kids and parents on this site that brag about the schools they are going to and what actually happens once enrolled. That would be a good study here. Thank you though to those of you who understand what real life is about.</p>
<p>I am sorry if you feel people were being hurtful on this board, but there are times when we, as parents of kids that need extra attention have to realize that we can’t just brush under the rug that these kids struggle and then expect some type of accomodation after things fall apart. You came here seeking help in September because your son was stuggling and your last message was that you were headed to your son’s LAC to meet with advisors, etc. I of course have no idea if that happened, but I would think if it did, waivers would have been signed that allowed you to have future conversations with academic advisors in regard to your son’s well being. I know it is easy to blame a system that is geared to “normal kids” when you have child that just can’t seem to cope with life the way their peers do. It is distressing, heart wrenching and painful. But there comes a time that as a parent you have to take the bull by the horns and either made sure your child has these accomadations to ensure success and stop buying into the “it isn’t his fault” mentality. I have a son that takes ADHD meds and has a pretty complex mental profile with additional meds for that too. He often fails at what he does, but typically it is related to failure to take his medication or use the resources that are in place for him. As a parent I spend a great deal of time parenting him, a far greater percentage over the other kids, but the fact is, it is what he needs. I don’t like being behind the eight ball with him and always try to stay two steps ahead. Do I like it…no, I wish on my dark days, he was more “normal”, but he is not and you are going to have to realize that if your son is struggling like this, he probably needs more daily resources, either from you or an advisor, etc, a caretaker for lack of a better word. Does it stink…heck yes, but failure to stay on top of situations like this tend to lead to major situations like you are now faced with. I know the feeling of wanting to bury my head in the sand and hope it all works out. But the fact is it just doesn’t work that way. And I am not in any way saying that has been your approach. I am saying that it is soooo normal to feel that way. I am sorry you going through this. When I asked you earlier in the thread how your September visit went, it was simply to gain perspective on what had occured between then and now. It was not to judge. You wanted help and people here are trying to help you. I know first hand it is not always easy to hear that.</p>
<p>My oldest also went to a LAC, and was receiving aid when she was put on academic warning when a grade dropped below a C. ( she attended Reed, which doesn’t tell you of your grades unless you make an appt with your advisor, but they do tell you when you receive a warning)</p>
<p>( She also was struggling with learning differences & depression at the time)</p>
<p>I can see a student refusing to meet with their academic advisor, but in that case, I can also see a college sending a letter home to the students permanent address informing them of their probationary status. </p>
<p>I think something else you can do right now, is have your son sign something giving you access to his academic as well as his financial records so you can see just what has been going on & for how long.</p>
<p>It’s possible that once he starts treatment, including medication if needed, that he can start to take classes again- college students do run into hurdles in school, but being unable to ask for help, indicates that he is going to need a lot of structure to learn to be successful again. ( also- if money * isn’t* an issue, retaking courses at the same college, may be able to drop earlier grades)</p>
<p>I don’t know a lot about grad schools, but I will say that even though my D failed her spring final in ochem @ Reed ( which meant she failed the course), she retook Ochem at another school( after her profs approval) and came back to write her senior thesis and graduate with a degree in biology. Ochem was the only class she had been having difficulty with however.
She is now finishing up her last year of graduate school.</p>
<p>Are there pages in this thread somewhere else too, that I am missing?
Utzy defends in post 13 that his/her daughter-son is no dummy. I haven’t read anyone here that even hinted he/she was stupid.
Utzy defends the honor of a top 20 school that isn’t an Ivy. Did someone here say all schools were bad except Ivies? Gee, I missed that.
And Utzy bragging about the d-s Sat scores, yet complaining about other parents that brag in this forum? What? Utzy could have stated kid did well in H.S., or said had very nice SAT scores, and could have just left it at that.
Some here have pointed out an inconsistency of info about the student. On the one hand we’re told the daughter-son has a number of mental disorders, has been under a pro’s care since early childhood, yet Utzy seems surprised by the latest turn of events. Some feel a more careful eye on this student was in order given this student’s long track record.
This thread imo, has not turned into an “everybody attacking poor Utzy” which I think is the tone of post 13. I don’t believe there are posters here plotting against Utzy. But given the info we have here, I think they are legitimate questions. And Utzy may very well have real, solid answers for those questions. There may be opinions here that aren’t what Utzy hoped to hear, but that sure doesn’t mean they are intended with malice. I just don’t think that based on the info given the questions themselves are offensive, or that Utzy should feel persecuted from them.</p>
<p>Yeah, I was puzzled about the OP’s post 13. I re-read the thread and just didn’t see any posts which were intended to be hurtful. Some people are blunt, yet I didn’t see anything that indicated that there was malice intended. I wondered if there were posts deleted.</p>
<p>To the OP, I hope things work out for your child. However, when you post a question on an internet forum, you have to understand that you will get all kinds of answers. Some will be of no use to you, others will be quite supportive, and still others will be painful yet true and something you should at least consider.</p>
<p>Good luck to you. I hope your kid can get a diagnosis and can find a solution to salvage his education.</p>
<p>It appears you were aware of problems back in September when your son informed you of his declining mental health. I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault, but his current situation shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to you based on the fact that he clearly expressed his concern about his mental health at the beginning of the semester. </p>
<p>If this is the only semester with such a low gpa (under 1.0), he can explain it to admission’s depts. during the grad school application process. If he has a low cumulative undergrad gpa as a senior, don’t spend your time worrying about grad school right now—it may not be the right setting for his future. For now, concentrate on getting him well. </p>
<p>Yes to the timing of the issues, and that is why I asked questions in an early post…the OP will have a much better chance at possibly turning this into a medical leave from a suspension if the onset of the poor grades and the return of the mental health issues began this fall. I’m guessing some posts are missing and I didn’t go search for old posts, but still think getting an accurate diagnosis and putting some plan in place before attempting or even planning a “return” is the important. It doesn’t really matter where the young person started or what they brought to the table at that time or even where they are in school…what matters is the issues now at hand… I do wish the OP and son a positive outcome in the future.</p>
<p>Utzy, I suspect I’m one of the posters here you were writing about.
Well, gulp. I also have a kid who struggles with mental health issues. in fact, I think there are plenty more parents who have children with issues and that’s probably why we’re here. Do not feel so alone!</p>
<p>Of course there’s more to your story than what you said in your original post. And of course, there’s the other issue of how you are coping with this new challenge. But, no one was attacking you. We just wanted to be sure your child was properly diagnosed (not self-diagnosed as you wrote in your OP and not diagnosed since 3rd grade as you wrote in post #13) to get the help he needs. That really seems to be the first step.</p>