Not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I am looking for help. If your child was suspended for a minor infraction (less than ten days) as a peripheral actor in a situation that led to their suspension, did you mention it to the colleges to which you are applying? I know the common app does specifically ask this question, so I am wondering how to go about it. Some people have told me to make the topic part of your essay, others have said definitely not to. Any experience is much appreciated. Note: the charge seems worse than it is. Also: the school misrepresented the severity of the issue to me (the parent) (we found this is par for the course where we are) at first, only after getting an attorney did we find out the entire picture, but at that point, it was too late. Experiences?
I don’t have personal experience but if it’s going to appear on your child’s high school transcript or possibly in the GC letter, be absolutely sure your child is disclosing and being truthful on the common app. The common app requires signatures attesting that everything is true and it could be grounds for rescinding an acceptance if discovered after the fact.
I would not write an essay about the situation, but depending on what happened, it could be worth a few sentences in the “additional information” section.
Not knowing what happened, proceed cautiously with the language your child uses. Your child doesn’t want to come across as taking no responsibility for what happened. Even if it was “minor” the incident still resulted in an out of school suspension. In my neck of the woods, that’s a big deal. I would want to see remorse and learning from the experience, not deflecting blame back onto the school.
It doesn’t belong in the essay. The CA asks the student and the School Report asks the GC. So, you need to know if school policy is to report. If a student checks Yes, there’s a request to explain, separate from the essay. And the essay has a different purpose, is where you tell a nice tale that illustrates the assets/attributes the college targets look for.
“Less than ten days” is long. How it affects apps depends on what. Adcoms know some hs have mandatory rules about any sort of incident. Some, eg, suspend if a stray baseball breaks a window. Or if a kid steps in to stop a fight. So it depends. They also look to the GC letter, to guage school support for this applicant. And teacher LoRs. (Yes, in this case, they can try to read between the lines.)
If you have to broach this, the main point is to show it’s not some continuing sort of issue (eg, not, "I’ve been suffering mental issues and lost control.) Show appropriate contrition. And it helps if ECs and the LoRs show this is a good kid, in various ways. If he’s got the right ECs (that show the right judgment, other fine qualities,) that could overweigh one random incident.
But we don’t know what this was and his usual decision making skills.
Btw, most transcripts don’t show discipline. It’s on the CA and SR. The issue is whether or not the school or district policy allows this to be reported to colleges. Some don’t. There are many hs and colleges against this right now, calling any reporting unfair.
I don’t consider any out of school suspension “minor” and I’m not sure why 10 days would be the dividing line.
Regardless, the school and the student need to be on the same page. If the GC reports the suspension, then the answer to the application’s discipline question is pretty straight forward - yes. The follow-up question is the place to discuss it:
The key part is that the student reflects on the incident. Nobody will be interested in the excuses/extenuating circumstances/“but the other kid started it.” Teenagers, whose frontal lobes are not yet fully developed, make mistakes. That’s not generally the issue. If they did not learn the experience,colleges may have an issue. Without knowing context, it’s hard to say if this warrants an essay topic, but I’d generally say that it does not. Address it where asked and move on.
And leave the lawyer and the legalese out of it. Nothing signals “kid won’t take responsibility/family in denial” faster than the legal language trying to be both accurate and somehow obfuscating. Remember- your kid is going to be living in communal housing at this college for four years. The adcom’s are trying to determine if he represents a risk to other students, facilities, staff, reputation, etc. Resorting to “it was only a 9 day suspension and it wasn’t my fault plus the rule is stupid anyway” is sort of a blinking red light.
It was actually one day of suspension, but the school district classifies as over 10 days (serious) or under 10 days (not serious). So, it states under ten days. It was very important to the school to pin what happened on someone, because there was a parent involved asking for that. There was a main actor, and they are no longer at the school (apparently, they had other problems, and was known). It was the first quarter of school, freshman year, and the other teens involved were afraid of that actor (older), so they did not stop the actor, so they were brought in also. It was NOT physical or drug related. So, the facts are questionable to this day, as the main actor and the person involved had a relationship. The other people involved did not actually know anyone involved. The lawyer only came into play after it was clear that the school mishandled the situation, and was basically just looking for a parent’s signature. Of course, we would not tell the college that.
Thank you for your kind input. Please keep your thoughts, ideas and experiences coming.
Freshman year leaves lots of time to make up for this. What year is he now? If you’re confident he will not have any other issues, we still don’t know what it was, but I’d focus on the present and future. The right academics, good ECs, solid comm service (not just rnadom hours via a club. Find something he can dedicate himself to.) Make nice with the GC.
If he’s a senior, less time. So, what year?
With new posters, there’s so often so much left out. It makes it hard for us to have any context and understanding. If you could reveal more, it would help.
so the crucial part is not how you would describe the incident, but rather how the school is going to describe it. The school’s version will be controlling, so make sure you are on the same page. you could suggest language to the school if you want:" X was suspended for one day early in his high school career for participating with others in (bullying, sexual harassment, whatever). He has had no further disciplinary issues since then".
Do not mention it in the essay.
Be truthful on the common app.
Talk to GC about what they may include in their recommendation.
Essay thoughts:
Google “Hacking the College Essay 2017” and read it.
Write the Essay No One Else Could Write
“It boils down to this: the essay that gets you in is the essay that no other applicant could write.
Is this a trick? The rest of this guide gives you the best strategies to accomplish this single
most important thing: write the essay no one else could write.
If someone reading your essay gets the feeling some other applicant could have written it,
then you’re in trouble.
Why is this so important? Because most essays sound like they could have been written by
anyone. Remember that most essays fail to do what they should: replace numbers (SAT/GPA) with the real you.
Put yourself in the shoes of an admissions officer. She’s got limited time and a stack of
applications. Each application is mostly numbers and other stuff that looks the same. Then she picks
up your essay. Sixty seconds later, what is her impression of you? Will she know something specifically
about you? Or will you still be indistinguishable from the hundreds of other applicants she has been
reading about?”
I agree, I would want to understand what if anything was going to be disclosed to a college and what that disclosure was going to say and from that be truthful on the applications. I would, however and different form what has been suggested bo some, be brief, to the point and factual in the application disclosure if needed, especially if it was a one day suspension and the possibility is that it is not something that one needs to belabor. I’m with Roycroftmom on this one if, in fact, the situation was not one that was illegal or violent.
Our school posts the School Profile that is sent to colleges on their website. It very clearly states that they will under no circumstances release disciplinary records of students, even if specifically requested. I would check with the district as to their policy.
I also believe this is the law according to FERPA.
Even with FERPA, a HS can share disciplinary info with a college.
Whether a HS chooses not to is, as noted above, subject to that school’s/district’s policies.
My kid’s HS states specifically that they do release disciplinary issues to colleges.
Paging @Hanna
Ferpa allows relevant student info to be disclosed to other educational institutions with a need to know.
Whatever she does, the student should not describe it in any way close to the way you, the OP, described it. Your description sounds dismissive, defensive, excuse-making, and combative.
Notwithstanding any of the above, she should be contrite, take FULL responsibility, and describe how she has moved forward and will continue to move forward to be a model citizen.
Not necessarily @brantly as we have zero idea why the student got a one day suspension and it could very well have been something innocuous. We don’t know. It is a double edged sword. If it is something minor the student could come off just as poorly for blathering on.
It would be interesting to know what legally constitutes “need to know.” If 6 strong teenage guys pick up a teachers Miata and move it to a different school parking lot and they get a one day suspension I would posit that should have zero bearing on their college apps a few years later or be of any need to know for those potential colleges (that happened but none of my boys were involved).
Just saying that it’s important not to try to explain it away. State dispassionately what happened. Own up to it, whether it was minor or major. And talk about what was learned from it.