<p>Anybody see it? Nothing earthshaking for this audience. Awww. The student was crying when Suze told her "the reality"</p>
<p>I was going to also post this. That girl looked like a spolied brat. She is getting college paid for in full, but she wants to go a “better school”. Give me a break.</p>
<p>So… she could be 1/4 of the posters on CC who insist that they can afford NYU if they just plow ahead and somehow qualify for those magical loans that emanate from the air like mana from heaven.</p>
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<p>Finally someone says it. It is a little distressing to hear all the kids who honestly have no idea how much their parents make and how much they have left over in discretionary spending. I don’t know if it’s an American cultural thing, but I think that parents are way too secretive about their finances at times when it is really important that their high school juniors and seniors know the score. April 30 of your senior year is way too late to find out that your parents can’t even afford to pay to send you to your safety school.</p>
<p>"Finally someone says it. It is a little distressing to hear all the kids who honestly have no idea how much their parents make and how much they have left over in discretionary spending. I don’t know if it’s an American cultural thing, but I think that parents are way too secretive about their finances at times when it is really important that their high school juniors and seniors know the score. April 30 of your senior year is way too late to find out that your parents can’t even afford to pay to send you to your safety school. "</p>
<p>I found out after I’d already applied, been accepted, and gone on tours at all the state schools that my parents weren’t even paying for community college. That was a fun summer.</p>
<p>To this day I have no idea how much my parents make or if they are even paying their bills. It has made my college selection process extremely complicated, and is now complicating my sister’s. I assumed that they were just very financially strained since that is what I was led to believe, but apparently they have had every intention of paying for my wedding-- but of course they won’t tell me what their budget is. I understand not telling me these things when I was too young to be worrying about if the family is making it, but I’ve got one foot out the door by now and kind of need to have some idea about these things if they’re going to let me believe they’re paying for something. </p>
<p>(And for the record, they are NOT paying for anything now. Lesson learned, my parents are weird.)</p>
<p>If you check threads started by me , such as is it worth substantial debt for the dream school, I have been espousing the fact that almost NO SCHOOL is worth being in substantial debt for undergrad education. I have lectured on it, written on it, live it…all to no avail. Most folks think that if they get into a pricey named school such as NYU,Tufts or top art school such as RISD or top lac, all doors of opportunity will magically open up wider than attending a good, in-state university. The sad fact is that this just isn’t true! I wish folks would believe me. </p>
<p>I see it all the time. I know dozens of middle class and lower middle class kids who turned down great scholarships at a very good state univerisity ( universty of Maryland) for schools like Tufts, NYU, Rochester, while only getting maybe 10K a year in scholarships. These kids are having at least 60k-80K in debt upon graduation where they could have graduated with little or no debt from Maryland. In fact, one friend of my daughter got a three quarters ride to Maryland and turned it down for University of Rochester with a measily 10K yearly scholarship offer. However, in order to avoid being too intrusive, I have had to bite my tongue and say nothing.</p>
<p>I see many parents who, under the ambit of “love,” severely compromise their own retirements and their lives in order to send their kids to named schools when great alternatives for their instate universities exist. Here in CC, there is a prevalent attidude of “no financial sacrifice is too large for my dear son and daughter, regardless of the cost.” It’s truly a losing battle. Grrrrrr.</p>
<p>I guess the old saying is true, “the masses are asses.”</p>
<p>“Finally someone says it.”</p>
<p>Loans … ugh. The must be something in the human psyche that trumps “Um, I don’t have the money for this” with “Oh look, a LOAN!!!” I don’t really expect HS students to understand the practical aspects of borrowing money. But what’s up with the adults???</p>
<p>I do recommend talking with students early about how college will be paid for. Keep it simply. At the beginning of ninth grade we told our kids “We’ll pay for you to attend the state flagship. If you want something better you’ll need to get good grades and good test scores so you can get scholarships.” (Based on their response, I guess the state flagship wasn’t all that appealing!)</p>
<p>The trick, NewHope, is to not say “better”. You should have just said “if you want to get into a different school”.</p>
<p>^ shyanne - You’re technically correct. For my kids the spectre of attending college in a snow-covered wind-swept rural environment less than an hour from their parents was sufficient to define “better!”</p>
<p>I believe you taxguy.</p>
<p>Our country gives everyone “the right” to have a “free and appropriate education” through high school (up to age 18 and up to 21 if there’s an IEP). That is not the BEST education, just an appropriate education. So, then when kids go beyond high school, why would they think they are entitled to a “better” or “best” education that their parents pay for?</p>
<p>I believe this attitude starts at home. No one is “entitled” to go to college!</p>
<p>I dont blame the kids for not making wise decisions - I blame the parents, like my brother and his wife. She is a physician and he is in top management. They moved to a classy suburb with very high property taxes because of the great schools .but they sent their kids to private schools (K-12). They saved some money for college but not nearly enough for top private LACs or Unis. Of course the kids were devastated; they assumed and rightly so that the money for college had been tucked away before their parents purchased the expensive cars, exotic vacations, pricey summer camps, designer clothes, etc. From day one the kids were told to get top grades, which they did; along with great ACT scores. Sadly, neither kid could attend their first choice school without incurring far too much debt -the familys EFC was high and my brother and SIL didnt have enough money saved to pay.</p>
<p>I think many kids are fooled by their life style into believing their parents have saved/will pay for college, and are shocked to learn otherwise.</p>
<p>I agree with everything posted here, but do want to point out that many families who could afford X for their child all through his/her life have, in the last 2 years had their financial worlds turned somewhat upside down. Jobs have been lost. Families have had to live on savings for extended periods. Of course, this info should also be shared with the kids. I just want to point out that for some of us, what we could always afford has changed dramatically very recently.</p>
<p>Tututaxi, it is not surprising that your brother and wife did not save, with such an expensive lifestyle. But it is surprising that they wouldn’t decide to just pay for the schools as they go along, decide to not spend money on the cars and fancy vacations for a couple of years. With the salary they are pulling in, it should be workable if they cut back.</p>
<p>It does seem like many people don’t understand the long term committment of paying back large school loans. When my husband finished med school we were $120,000 in debt. When we first started paying back his loans (along with a small amount of mine) we were paying around $1200 a month. We still pay $760 a month and he graduated in 1986. We will pay off this last loan the year after our oldest son graduates from college.</p>
<p>We are fortunate. He has a career that allows us to pay back the loan and still live comfortably. I worry so much about the kids who are going into the same type of debt we did and doing it without a career that has the same type of earning power. For instance, how can you go into $100,000+ debt and pay it back on a teaching salary? (and still buy a house, a car, save for your kids, your retirement…)</p>
<p>We have a funny story to go with our monthly student loan payment - A couple of years ago when we were refinancing our house, our lawyer saw the $760 monthly payment and asked where the paperwork was for that piece of property. I just laughed, pointed at my husband, and told him he was looking at it.</p>
<p>(busdriver) I see that here on the east coast too: parents who live a glamorous, exciting life but when it comes time to pay bills for their children’s education, well, it’s not there or they don’t want to pay. </p>
<p>Is it because they didn’t plan ahead? Is it because they felt they themselves “deserved” a high-rate lifestyle, but education bills are too mundane? Or not important? The way I see it, their kids are continuing their lifestyle by going to some expensive private college, just like they went to private HS and wearing Abercrombie. But the parents, who now have a wonderful high-paying job only went to a so-so college back in the day. And other complications got in the way too: divorce, taxes, healthcare costs.</p>
<p>Rebecca may seem like a spoiled brat, but in other situations, it’s the parents who are spoiled brats too. The problem as I see it is that parents don’t sit down and have serious conversations about “the College Fund” until kids get accepted. It’s not just that they can’t pay, it’s also that they’re not willing to accept that their own lifestyle may be affected.</p>
<p>Busdriver, I agree! but I think even with their high annual income, they dont make enough to fork out $40K (after taxes) per year for 4 years times 2 kids. They have a big house with a big mortgage and high property taxes. I suppose they could move …buy a smaller house and use the proceeds for college, but they have become accustom to the affluent life style.</p>
<p>I don’t feel comfortable in judging other parents’ decisions with their money. If you want to blow it all on solid gold rocket-yachts, hey, you earned it! But I do feel comfortable in judging them when they lie to or mislead their children about what they are willing to spend on college costs. You can’t predict the future, of course, but you can at least try and be upfront about the present.</p>
<p>How about the parents who push their children to attend the “private school” by having the child take out as many loans as possible under the guise that it will be easy to pay the money back with their planned career. I know one whose father convinced him to go to a small private school for mech. engineering instead of the big state one that would have cost a lot less. He now plans to have between $60,000 to $65,000 in debt upon graduation. I know of another child who will attend a private Christian school for $40,000 per year. She loved the school and her father pushed her to go there because he feels she will get a better education. To get this great education she will have to take out about $40,000 in loans over four years and work the whole time. She doesn’t even know what she wants to study and the in-state public would have been free. Go figure.</p>
<p>Well, I’m only a college student, but if this is the same Orman episode I read about earlier, than I think the girl doesn’t have an understanding of how college actually works. It mentioned she had a prepaid tuition plan to any Virginia school, but she seemed to indicate that our schools were not good enough to get someone a job except for at McDonalds. I attend a Virginia public school, the University of Virginia, and don’t know anyone who is working at McDonalds after graduation…</p>
<p>It seems that a lot of people (especially kids my age or a few years younger) don’t have realistic views of public schools. Where do they get this misinformation?</p>
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