<p>Every day, I manage to convince myself that TODAY is the day it will come. Sixth period and the bus ride are torture - but then it’s really anticlimactic when it doesn’t happen. All this adrenaline can’t be good for me.</p>
<p>the bus ride home is crazy intense for me too! :)</p>
<p>haha i have mixed feelings about the mail coming… i wanna know yet i dont want to…lol</p>
<p>yea, I want to know, but then I don’t…opening that letter is going to be one of the hardest things that I do in my life.</p>
<p>I kind of have prepared myself for the worst, but I can’t stop thinking about how Swarthmore is just really where I want to be.</p>
<p>I think its crazy that we all can’t imagine ourselves anywhere, but Swarthmore. I don’t have many friends who applied anywhere ED. Is it normal for ED applicants to be as worked up as us? hahaha or is it just because Swarthmore is so awesome?</p>
<p>I’m trying my hardest to prepare myself for the worst…but I know that I’m going to be upset if I don’t get in.</p>
<p>Yeah, I’m definitely going to be really upset if I get rejected. So, I’m trying really hard not to set myself up for a major disappointment, but its really hard not to get super excited and nervous. This is definitely the first time I’ve ever felt like this before. Its so weird not to have any control over it anymore, like when I submitted my application online and I couldn’t edit it anymore it was the weirdest feeling ever.</p>
<p>yea, when i handed my envelope over to the woman at the post office, she said to me, “This is really important to you isn’t it?” my reply was, yes, I’ve been working 17 years to get to this point in my life.</p>
<p>on a much more exciting note, i don’t know if you read the admissions blogs that Swarthmore has, but as an avid blogger myself, I do…if you don’t want to read the rest of this…at least read the last few lines. [The</a> Week, in a Word](<a href=“http://jsmall2.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/]The”>http://jsmall2.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/)</p>
<p>haha i had a dream last night about getting a rejection letter… theres my stress level right there. my dreams are never true though, so im not too worried about that dream… but ugh this is soo hard. the times going by soo sloww… the past few days felt like months!!</p>
<p>haha…yea, these past few nights have not been the greatest for getting sleep! I’m just trying to focus on all the positive things right now, and when that letter gets here…I’ll tackle it head on and keep on going whether or not it’s the one that i want.</p>
<p>hjohnston, I said something very similar when I submitted my app and I’m really glad you posted that link! </p>
<p>tieeris, I had a dream where I went to the campus thinking I was accepted, but I really wasn’t. I’m not putting much stock in my dreams though! Time really has been passing slowly. I know for me I just cannot imagine myself at any other college. After spending three weekends there visiting friends and making new friends of my own I just can’t see myself anywhere else. Everyone is so friendly and literally everything is perfect! I hope we hear soooooonnnnnn!!! Ahh</p>
<p>you are welcome! yea, I’m not putting much stock in my dreams either…because they have been really crazy about this letter! haha…I am just ready to hear. I don’t think I can take another school day of staring at the clock waiting to hear.</p>
<p>hahaha my mom wants to open it when she gets it out of the mailbox before i come back from school. idk if i should have her open it or not…? haha i kinda wanna do it, but then again i would be too scared. 
ahhhg i think theres a good chance that it will get here tomorrow or the day after. crazy!</p>
<p>Hahaha I have a funny story about my insanity over this letter…</p>
<p>Everyday this week I have texted my dad at exactly 12 asking him if the letter arrived in the mail and today he didn’t answer me. So, I started freaking out; I texted him three times after and then during last block I called him twice and used a friends phone to try and get ahold of him that way. I was convinced that it came and he didn’t want me agonizing about it during school so he was ignoring me. Turns out he accidentally left his cell phone in my moms car the night before… My mom had been calling him too asking. When I got home from practice today he said “I knew you two would be freaking out.” </p>
<p>Just goes to show how much I’m stressing over this! My guess now is Thursday though. If I don’t hear by then I’m not sure what I will do…</p>
<p>yea, my older sister wants me to wait until she gets home on Saturday if we get it before, but I just don’t think that I could sit with it on my table! hahaha…I told my mom she can put it up to the lights and steam it open and close it back if she really feels the need to…but she can’t rip it open.</p>
<p>I think I may end up being too scared to open it myself, but the other part of me will probably rip it open the moment I see its from Swat.</p>
<p>so many scenarios have gone through my head
getting accepted being the better one … i’ve pictured my dorm, my classes, even graduation in the amphitheater hahah
also the rejected one… fail fail fail
my backups are haverford, lafayette, drew maybe princeton for kicks aha
but i really cant imagine loving another school the way i love swarthmore
oh and i got a letter of rec from an alum whose family is pretty active in the school but idk if thatll help???
i think i might email them and ask them when exactly theyre sending the letters out
all this mystery is not helping with the stress level hahah
i let you guys know if i get a definitive answer back</p>
<p>yea…i am feeling the exactly the same way</p>
<p>and we have a tonnnnn of work this week that I absolutely cant focus on.
10 page paper half of my english grade due friday? nahhhh imma go on college confidential and stress about swarthmore :)</p>