My son’s situation was a little different (no OVs, during covid) but he always told coaches their program was one of his top choices, or they were in the top 3 choices. As much as coaches are saying these sorts of things to athletes, I think it’s fine if the athletes do the same.
To overly generalize: coaches want earlier commitments, while recruits who have more than one option want to wait and do campus visits. Those goals can conflict.
I would like to add a piece of advice.
All coaches are salesmen. They want to sell you to get you to join their team. As a result, many things can be whitewashed. The current athletes who are asked to zoom with a recruit or hang out with her during a visit know it is best for them to sugarcoat negative things. Unless she has inside information, a commit doesn’t really know what is actually happening with the team until she arrives on campus. So it’s best to make sure that your daughter is happy with the school in case things with the team somehow don’t work out.
Good luck.
Agree with everyone’s advice to be upfront. I would note though that the coach’s response may be driven by the desirability of that recruit on that coach’s list. If the recruit is at the top of the list, the coach is likely to be more patient. If the recruit just made the cut with plenty of alternatives right behind, the coach may give a shorter window because they will want to move down their list quickly before the alternatives commit elsewhere.
every adolescent is different, and they each weigh different parameters differently, whether it is the strength of the academics, prestige, school vibe, team competitiveness, the vibe of the town, or their impressions from the tour guide, other students, athletes or alums, to name a few. All this can add to the uncertainty.
In the end, it all comes down to facts: how many real offers stand on any given day, that’s the pool to choose from. Some offers expire, and some candidates will convey the fact they have an expiring offer to a coach “in discussion”. Others will decide to commit before a specific offer expires.
Decision time approaches with OVs taking place as we speak.
I thought your daughter wasn’t able to do OVs.
I don’t see any responses to multiple previous questions about whether any of the schools who have provided offers were actually visited during the summer tour. Hopefully, that was prioritized. It’s definitely a lot tougher to make decisions without that info.
And also, be aware that some coaches have a big divide between their recruiting vibe and their treatment of student-athletes when you are actually on the team. An in-person visit with current team members is more likely to lead to more candid responses than remote Zoom calls set up by the coaches.
I agree, I think Zoom calls can be unhelpful as there is an element of Big Brother watching you. I don’t think you can get a complete vibe unless you are on campus, meet girls and actually have some one on one time.
I am sure that is not lost on OP but she’s an international recruit so they are doing their due diligence best they can. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut and take a small leap of faith.
A number of posts deleted. A reminder that this forum is supposed to be a welcoming and friendly place. Monday morning quarterbacking this late in the game is not helpful.
I totally agree with you and this swim mom is trying to do the best for her child and we are all team NiVo at this point. NiVo - everything will work out for your daughter and we are standing tall for her! Hang in there!
Down to 2 offers. Whilst she was disappointed not to have 3 options, in the end she has 2 very good options. Decision time is staring her in the eye, she is infinitely lucky to have those in hand, and be in control of her own commitment decision. One more conversation with a current non athlete student to help her wrap up her final decision.
Has your daughter tried contacting a recent graduate who was on the swim team? You can look at the roster from a year or 2 ago and try to contact someone who was in a relevant major either through the coach or independently. Most teams have SM presence with alums remaining in the group. Also, is your daughter contacting a non-swimmer who is in a major that she is considering? At this point it bears repeating that your daughter must be happy with her choice assuming she does not swim. I know of too many bad stories of kids who chose a college because of the sport (or worse, the coach) and end up being miserable until they could transfer out, and usually to a lower quality college because their grades went into the tank as part of their misery.
We’re generally comfortable that she will be able to handle the academic load because neither schools are hard schools like MIT or Chicago.
She’s talking to one last senior to have one more data point from someone from her hometown who isn’t on the swim team and had been there for the past 3 years, and will likely offer a slightly different viewpoint from the college tour guide and the other swimmers she talked to.
Once that’s done, we will do one last commit call together with the coach to make sure that everyone’s understanding is aligned, that top recruit/strong support/ED application has historically meant 99% probability of admission in the past. That would conclude the application part of her journey.
I believe their point was that unhappy kids don’t do well not because of their ability but their state of mind. There is no one making you go to class for example.
MIT (did you know that the first term is basically pass/fail?) and Chicago are not particularly hard, even if the students have their own brand of intensity. The schools on your list attract bright and motivated students and I would never assume it will be a walk in the park. Your daughter will have the additional challenge of being very far away from home in a very different cultural experience. All these things make it even more important that she loves where she is.
Her recruiting journey will be concluded. Her application journey will conclude when she receives her acceptance in December.