Switching from private schools.

I have just recently been accepted from St. Paul’s school but was rejected from Phillips Exeter Academy which was the school I was really aiming for. Do you think that I could apply for Phillips Exeter Academy again? Would my teachers write me recommendation letters like my past teachers? Would me being a St. Paul’s student hinder my chances of getting into Phillips Exeter Academy? If I were to get rejected from Phillips Exeter Academy would I not be able to stay at St Paul’s?

@boardingscholar - They are equally good schools! You could reapply, but I don’t really see the point, unless there is some particular reason why you absolutely do not want to attend St. Paul’s.

I know it’s tough to give up on your “dream school”, but you should be happy with your fantastic results; try to get hyped about SPS for the next couple weeks, and if you still hate it, or think that Exeter is “better” (it isn’t) or “more prestigious” (again, not really), maybe you could consider reapplying.

The college equivalent would be getting into Princeton, then trying to transfer to Yale. Sure, it’s possible, but… why?

Can I ask, why do you prefer Exeter? If it’s something small like a bad tour or Niche rankings, you’ll get over that quickly; I did.

PS. When you walk into SPS, whether you reapply or not (I would strongly advise against it), walk in with a positive attitude, instead of viewing it as stepping stone to a “better school” or a “second choice”.

We have a friend who transferred from SPS to Groton, so it can happen. But I agree with ecowell. SPS is an amazing school (it was my daughters first choice but she was waitlisted), and I’m certain if you go i with a good attitude, you’ll love it !

If you were my child, I would be exploring more deeply with you why you would want to do this. Learning when to keep up the fight and when to recognize that you’ve gotten the dream, even if it’s slightly modified – well that’s part of maturity and growing up. It’s hard stuff, so I don’t minimize it. I feel for you, and I love the part of you that says “don’t give up! no matter what!” That will serve you well in the future in the right circumstances.

If your reason for wanting to apply again next year really only because Exeter is your “dream school,” then I would strongly discourage it. Life is full of disappointments and sometimes our dream arrives in a slightly modified form. Meaning, SPS is also a “dream school” – it’s completely a peer, and you obviously liked it enough to apply. Now, if Exeter had something truly compelling and specific that you absolutely cannot get elsewhere, and this is the one thing that made going away to BS worth it to you, then that’s perhaps another situation. Maybe it is worth the fight. Maybe it is worth going “all or bust” to you and your family. But in that case, I would switch to thinking: what would be the best way for me to get into Exeter, and the truth is it may not be by going to SPS.

Another thought: if fall is online only, keep in mind you might essentially be applying to change schools without having ever been on campus. Even just thinking through the logistics of getting a recommendation from a teacher who has never met you (and frankly, may not be convinced that the decision is a good one – it is hard to make a solid case that Exeter will provide something compelling that SPS can’t) might be worth considering.

And think about your application: how in the world will you explain why you want to switch from a peer school? A vague: “it’s my dream school” I do not think will be compelling here.

TLDR: If you have a truly compelling reason to be at Exeter and no other peer school, then perhaps it’s worth re-applying. But probably, I would not suggest it, if you were my kid. Turn around on the horse and face the direction it is going. Keep your fighting spirit, though, and trust you will learn when to use it, even if now isn’t the time.