I’m sure this has been asked many times, many ways, but what is some sound advice for getting a good teacher rec letter?
I’m a junior right now and some friends are asking teachers if they can write them recommendation letters already, which is starting to stress me out since I have only just begun to think about this.
My situation is that I do generally well in most of my classes, but I have never truly connected with a teacher. I participate in class but not extensively, I rarely talk to my teachers outside of class unless it’s about schoolwork, I doubt that I’m any of my teachers’ favourite student, etc. In fact, I’m not a particularly good student beyond getting decent grades. For example, I fall asleep in class occasionally and I don’t see eye to eye with some of my teachers. I figure I mostly come off as unremarkable. I also don’t have any coaches or club supervisors I know well, or even any adults outside of my parents that I am close to.
How would someone like me go about the recommendation letter process? I would truly appreciate any thoughts y’all have to offer! Thank you!
Are there any teachers you’ve had for two (or more) years in a row? Or are there any classes that you demonstrated considerable improvement in? As a last resort, you might want to ask someone who has taught you in something related to the major that you’re interested in. I’ve also heard that it’s a good idea to have one letter from a humanities teacher and one from STEM subjects, but that definitely isn’t a hard and set rule.
@SpringAwake15 Actually, I have two teachers this year who had me freshman year, but not sophomore year. Not sure if this is somehow less valuable than if it were two consecutive years. Thanks for the help! I’ll keep this in mind.
I have several of those letters to write, hopefully this weekend.
You still have some time-- start to connect with those teachers. Stop by extra help once in a while-- it’s a great opportunity for some one on one (or, at this end of the year, 10 on 1) conversation.
Most high schools have some sort of form to fill out, kind of like a combination resume/ brag sheet to use when you request an application. Use it well. Forget anything you’ve ever heard about humility. This is your opportunity to give your teacher material for that letter. Let him know what you’ve done, what your aspirations are, what fills you with joy. Let him know how you feel about education, how you put (or will put) what you learned in his class to use down the road.
We’ve all taught lots of quiet kids-- those resumes can be a tremendous help when we’re writing letters.
But be warned: we’re going to write the truth. We’re not going to sacrifice our professional reputation making a sleeper look like someone who pays attention.
Seriously, you fall asleep in some classes? You don’t have much to go on, but want good letters?
I’d recommend you look for colleges that care more about admissions based on stats.
For lurkers hoping to learn something abut LoRs, build a relationship with teachers. Let them see your curiosity and effort, get to know you as individuals, as well as students in their classes. Nothing thuds like a letter that basically says only that you show up. (And that’s even for high performing kids.)
You should have tried to connect and at the very least stay awake since the beginning of the year. It may be tough to find a teacher or two willing to as there are lots of letters for them to write. Ask your GC if she/he knows if any of your teachers are good rec writers.
@bjkmom Thank you for the insight and taking the time to comment! I definitely know where I stand much better now, and I’ll try to follow through on some of the suggestions.
@lookingforward Seriously. I definitely already know that I’m not a stellar student in this respect and I do really regret spending most of high school career exhausted. Thanks for the advice!
@readingclaygirl I should have, you’re right. I’ll speak with my counselor about it soon. Thanks for the comment!
I hope I don’t seem disingenuous for doing this, but I feel like I misrepresented my situation a bit in my first post so I’ll clarify a bit.
The falling asleep thing: This happened about twice in the same class, where the teacher saw me and we talked after class. I explained that it was because I didn’t get enough sleep the night before due to schoolwork (I suppose I’m not a very good student in this way either; I work slowly) and apologized earnestly. She was understanding, but I am concerned I completely burned that bridge due to my mistake. If I have, I realize that’s my fault and take responsibility for it. I didn’t mean to sound cavalier about it, if that’s how I came off.
The reason I don’t (or didn’t) talk to teachers much or make a connection was because I’m rather shy. I have a lot of anxiety about talking to people, whether it be in front of the class or one on one. That’s my “excuse”. But on principle I don’t think this part of me, the social anxiety, makes me a bad student or person… “don’t have much to go on” irked me a bit, but of course the reaction makes sense in response to the info I gave, and maybe this is just my ego/self-preservation talking.
Basically, I am rather self aware of my situation, and now that I reflect on it I posted this originally because I wanted affirmation that I hadn’t completely destroyed my chances of having a good relationship with teachers. Now I realize that was silly and I basically get what I put in, which is unfortunately not much. Thanks all for helping out! I hope this thread helps other students too, at least. (Of course, I’m still open to more comments!)
Ok. So you’re aware of some limitations,but would like to be able to choose a college that works for you. There is no basic or automatic prejudice against shy or introverted kids, at most colleges. Many people are hesitant, in one respect or another. But it can pop up as a concern when, say, an LoR notes a kid is shy to the point where the teacher doesn’t really know him, can’t comment much or suggests you hold back. (They won’t do this to slam you, but more to explain why they can’t say much.) Many colleges arelooking for kids who do engage in various ways, who can step out of their usual comfort zones when needed and know when that’s important. Not 24/7, but “enough.”
You can make small steps to change that. Easiest start is to pick a teacher (or club mentor) you’re comfortable with. Think up a reasonable question (doesn’t have to be intellectual,) maybe ask it after class, when you only have a few minutes anyway. Catch your breath, then next time build on that. Maybe you do some of that already, and just didn’t realize. Will PM you.
seal16, I teach in a College Prep Catholic High school. Every one of our 600+ Juniors is planning to go to college.
So what we do is have the Juniors request them in the spring; they’re due to guidance before school lets out for the summer. That way College Placement is ready for the onslaught when early admissions/early decision apps come in in the fall.
My son (who attends the local public school) is right there with your daughter. He knows who he wants to ask, but hasn’t gotten to it yet.
And, for what it’s worth, those letters did NOT get written this weekend. On the other hand, I did write, proofread and do the answer keys for both my Geometry final and the summer school version of the same test. And I graded 35 freshman Algebra projects. So it was a productive weekend.
penguindrum, if it’s just a question of shyness, make an effort to stop by extra help. It’s a great way of getting to know your teachers.
I had a kid in Precalc many years ago. In class, she was incredibly shy; I wouldn’t have known she had a voice at all. But in Extra Help, she was funny and full of light. I’ve always been so very grateful that she was so bad in Precalc. She was on TWA Flight 800, and we lost her when the flight went down 2 weeks after she graduated. I’ve always been so very thankful that I had that glimpse into the other side of her-- otherwise I probably would have struggled to recall her face.
But know that shyness is NOT going to mean that you can’t get some good letters. You’re not the first-- or the last-- shy student that your teachers have dealt with. But it does make your “brag sheet” or resume or whatever else you want to call it-- so very much important. Make sure it gives your teachers a real glimpse into those things that makes your mom’s eyes light up when you walk into a room.
@lookingforward Thanks for the specific advice. This seems doable and I will start reaching out more!
@bjkmom My school has something similar to extra help and I will start going more. Thank you for the help! Also, sorry to hear about your Precalc student. My condolences, even if they’re a bit delayed.
Strange, at my school (although admittedly a very noncompetitive, large public school) people don’t ask for LoRs until late fall. I asked for mine around October.
At my school, teachers like to be asked before summer, but they usually accept requests for regular decision until October-ish. A yale officer said these things:
they should be from junior or senior teachers
they like to see one from English or social studies and the other from math or science
if you’re nervous, he recommended that you remind the teacher of good moments or things you’d like them to mention
make sure they won’t be generic or repetitive
ask the teacher if they are “comfortable writing you a positive letter”, and don’t force it if they seem hesitant
@bjkmom , The Common App doesn’t go live until August. If you do letters now do you just deliver them as a Word document and the guidance counselor adds them to the application later or…?
I see our overworked guidance office as a huge stumbling block. I swear my son is going to get his applications in early… They’ve given juniors no information about applications. I thought recommendations were an “evite” the student sends the teacher. This is how recommendations to a summer program were handled. As you can see I have no idea.
They’ve given juniors no information about applications. I thought recommendations were an “evite” the student sends the teacher. This is how recommendations to a summer program were handled. As you can see I have no idea.